misogyny

[Shortkaik]

Eurydice - Really liked your response. I totally agree. I once was looking to buy a red trench coat; Now every time I go shopping, I just can't help but notice the overwhelming number of red trench coats on the market these days!

Yes, there are surely sexist, misogynist (and all other -ist) people in this world. It's not fair, and I don't like to see it when people are treated unfairly for reasons beyond their control. But personally, I'm in a very male-dominant field and I've still never had any man (or woman) openly question my skills just because of my gender. In fact, it tends to be more the other way around, and that almost bothers me more: The whole "Wow, you're a girl who plays video games/programs computers/lifts weights, that's awesome! Good for you!" is way more prevalent. I don't want the thing that makes me special to be my gender. I like to think I've got more important qualities.

Shiggles I'm glad you asked bprime why because I'd been wondering too. There are only two reasons why I can see why someone would say that. To say "I approve/like A but would never support/engage in A"

Here is a third reason, which is how I feel: I would probably never marry a guy who could cook better than me. Not because I think men are supposed to let women do the cookin', but because my ability to cook is something I am very proud of, and I don't want that taken away from me. Sometimes it's good to have something that you can call "your thing." I had enough trouble when I started dating my current boyfriend, because he's totally smarter than me. All the sudden I wasn't always right... which was hard to deal with for a while!

[Philociraptor]

I think that you're seeing what bprime said through the lens of misogyny instead of through his eyes. Personally, I take it to mean that he wants to assume the role of the strong man. Just because the role he has chosen conforms with society, that doesn't mean it's wrong or immoral. Nor is he condemning those who choose to assume the opposite role. He's merely stating that he'd prefer to be the greater in his relationship when it comes to bodily strength.

[scotticus]

I can't help but wonder what Feminist Ryan Gosling would have to say...

[Unda]

I think that you're seeing what bprime said through the lens of misogyny instead of through his eyes. Personally, I take it to mean that he wants to assume the role of the strong man. Just because the role he has chosen conforms with society, that doesn't mean it's wrong or immoral. Nor is he condemning those who choose to assume the opposite role. He's merely stating that he'd prefer to be the greater in his relationship when it comes to bodily strength.

I'm not saying that he's misogynistic, but there's got to be a reason *why* he wants to be the stronger in the relationship. Otherwise it's a pretty odd thing to state with such conviction if there's no "because"

[unicornassassin]

It all comes back to the wonderful world of rigid gender roles... yay! I'm ugly (and worthless) unless I am blonde with big boobs, and men are all sissies unless they are super strong and never cry.

[Centurion]

I'm not saying that he's misogynistic, but there's got to be a reason *why* he wants to be the stronger in the relationship. Otherwise it's a pretty odd thing to state with such conviction if there's no "because"

I don't see why there needs to be a "why" any more than why someone might be attracted to brunettes rather than blondes or short people rather than tall, it's just a personal preference, it doesn't require justification

[HorrorGeek]

I would like to chime in with one thing - a naked woman is not porn. What drives me insane about the US is everyone has a giant pole up their ass when it comes to anything remotely suggesting sexuality. There is nothing dirty, or sexual, about the female (or male) body and there is no reason why it cannot be viewed, even by children. They have bodies. They see themselves. Naked =/= sex.

Graphic sexual acts are porn, and should not be viewed by children.

I had this same backwards upbringing. I wasn't allowed to see boobs on tv (even though I was starting to grow some) but my mother forced me (yes, there was a time when I was a pansy, afraid of everything) to watch a horror movie. It makes no sense to me.

/rant

[Atalan]

I'm not saying that he's misogynistic, but there's got to be a reason *why* he wants to be the stronger in the relationship. Otherwise it's a pretty odd thing to state with such conviction if there's no "because"

Maybe a lot of his identity has always been as the physically powerful one, in his friends, family, whatever growing up. Not being that in his relationship challenges his personal identity.

Or maybe I'm projecting my own stuff onto him. (yes, I as well would find myself uncomfortable in a relationship where my girlfriend is stronger than me. Being the strong one has been part and parcel of who I am since I was 15 months old. I'm an older brother and even though my brother played sports on scholarship for university, with minimal effort I could beat him at any of the major lifts... Of course he can still run any distance twice as fast as me...).

['Roos]

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHNNNNNNNN!

(That was just my reaction to this thread - sexism sucks like blowing up a solar system).

[Corbab]

It all comes back to the wonderful world of rigid gender roles... yay! I'm ugly (and worthless) unless I am blonde with big boobs, and men are all sissies unless they are super strong and never cry.

I don't really feel that applies. I want to be strong, but it's not because I'll be a "sissy" otherwise. I just want to be able to pick up surprisingly large things because I find it fun. I don't cry (often) because I'd rather roll my eyes and deal with it some other way.

There is no doubt that stereotypes and expectations are still in existence, but I think one can be aware of them and still make decisions that do not reflect them. Some men and women may choose how they want to live based on these expectations and the receptions they expect from them, but I believe that one should be free to choose their own goals--if they happen to be in line with the established roles, so be it.

[Yoshi]

I would like to chime in with one thing - a naked woman is not porn. What drives me insane about the US is everyone has a giant pole up their ass when it comes to anything remotely suggesting sexuality. There is nothing dirty, or sexual, about the female (or male) body and there is no reason why it cannot be viewed, even by children. They have bodies. They see themselves. Naked =/= sex.

Graphic sexual acts are porn, and should not be viewed by children.

I had this same backwards upbringing. I wasn't allowed to see boobs on tv (even though I was starting to grow some) but my mother forced me (yes, there was a time when I was a pansy, afraid of everything) to watch a horror movie. It makes no sense to me.

/rant

^This

[unicornassassin]

I don't really feel that applies. I want to be strong, but it's not because I'll be a "sissy" otherwise. I just want to be able to pick up surprisingly large things because I find it fun. I don't cry (often) because I'd rather roll my eyes and deal with it some other way.

There is no doubt that stereotypes and expectations are still in existence, but I think one can be aware of them and still make decisions that do not reflect them. Some men and women may choose how they want to live based on these expectations and the receptions they expect from them, but I believe that one should be free to choose their own goals--if they happen to be in line with the established roles, so be it.

I'm a little confused.

I'm not saying that the only reason men want to be strong is to avoid being a sissy, or that if a man isn't strong he is a sissy. I think a person should be free to choose their own goals, too. Obviously I don't really think I'm ugly and worthless because I'm not blonde and busty.

I'm not for rigid gender roles... and I'm not against people that choose to live within those gender roles, either.... ETA If a person doesn't try to force me into a box I'm certainly not going to try to force them into a box, either.

[Guest Gemeaux]

I would like to chime in with one thing - a naked woman is not porn. What drives me insane about the US is everyone has a giant pole up their ass when it comes to anything remotely suggesting sexuality. There is nothing dirty, or sexual, about the female (or male) body and there is no reason why it cannot be viewed, even by children. They have bodies. They see themselves. Naked =/= sex.

Graphic sexual acts are porn, and should not be viewed by children.

I had this same backwards upbringing. I wasn't allowed to see boobs on tv (even though I was starting to grow some) but my mother forced me (yes, there was a time when I was a pansy, afraid of everything) to watch a horror movie. It makes no sense to me.

/rant

Exactly .

[humanperson832]

In fact, it tends to be more the other way around, and that almost bothers me more: The whole "Wow, you're a girl who plays video games/programs computers/lifts weights, that's awesome! Good for you!" is way more prevalent.

That's what we call a back-handed compliment. I once called my landlord, explaining that my pilot light has gone out 3 times this week, and she said, "Oh my god, you know what a pilot light is? I need to tell all the guys!" ...Um. Okay. The implication that I'm somehow special because I'm a woman who knows what a pilot light is and I know how to light it kind of ruffled my feathers (especially since a child could do it).

I want my skills and interests to set me apart by their own merit, not because I'm a woman who has these skills and interests. (I'm a couple of classes away from a women's studies minor that I won't be seeing through... just too frustrating).