What would your montage look like?

[Vegemighty]

Ah the classic training montage. Its a hallmark of great cinema. Every shot show a little improvement, to show it all would take too long. Thats called a montage.

So if someone made a montage of you, what would that be like? What would you be preparing for? Who would be your wise old mentor? What activities would be improving? And most importantly, what song?

For myself, I'd imagine myself as a throwback to the 80s Hong Kong police thriller. My boss is a hardass, but he's giving me one last shot to get my act together and take out the gangsters once and for all. My mentor is of course, Obi Wan Kenobi, back again for one last mission. My pull-ups would show improvement, and my swiftness. And the theme song would be Rolling in the Deep by Adele.

[Corbab]

My montage almost happened today. There would be a lot of erging in some badass location (warehouse, boat bay), angles showing my thrashing back and forth (with perfect form, of course). Plenty of sweat on the ground. Some heavy lifts accompanied by growling. More erging, on-water rowing, walking through a boat during a sprint, and that moment at the end where you can't feel your windpipe but you know you're cheering. Song would be something German (probably Rammstein) or something like Flight of the Valkyries.

[Leimanu]

Awesome thread! Can't wait to see everyone's creativity.

I'd be training for the Touch Mudder, and I'd be doing whatever I could in the woods to get strong and fast - bodyweight, carrying logs, climbing trees (this would be the highlight of me improving, with humor. haha, I fell again), getting dirty, dunks in cold water, sleeping under stars, birds flying away in fright of my majestic ROAR! My trainer's Pai Mei, the mentor to the Bride in Kill Bill. He's a bad mofo and knows a lot about complex movements and training hard to get to a goal, and not pandering but being so proud when the student's reached the goal. I guess I like him because there'd be meditation and good eating for healing after all the hard training, and calm balance to the intensity. All this done to Shakira's "She Wolf." I love the funky bass line, and ony the chorus of the song since I'm awakening from a domesticated Rachel to wild wolf woman Leimanu.

[Atalan]

I would be preparing to duel as an immortal from Highlander. Arn, a Templar would be my trainer. A full bodyweight work-out improvement as well as western martial arts, sword and shield. It would be set in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, near the Lake Michigan shore (Lake Superior is too angry for me).

Oh, and the song?

[Red1263]

My Montage would be in the forests, kinda like Rocky IV, using nature, my bodyweight, and unorthodox things to train myself. Preparing under the watchful eye of my Sensei, who whips me with some cord if I'm slacking off. And as I'm sweating and possibly collapsing on the floor it'll be to this song

[HorrorGeek]

Well, it's me...so it would definitely be of me training for the zombie apocalypse. My mentor would probably be Ving Rhames' character from the Dawn of the Dead remake. He was badass. The song would be Where Boys Feat to Tread by Smashing Pumpkins.

[thatgirljj]

I'd get to my training space, hug a few friends. Warm up alone. Jumping jacks, burpees, some abs work. Then stretching. I would get the splits (which is dicey right now), and stretch my press-up backbend. Then handstand training with my coach (I never get to train handstands these days, but in the montage of my dreams, I'd have time for it), timed at the wall, up on canes with a spotter, try a crocodile armstand and fall off the canes. Then silks training, warm up with skin the cats and some conditioning drills. Then climbs, arm-over-arm and russian climb. Then maybe drill some drops. Nothing bendy since I'd probably be dead tired at that point.

Then it would cut to me goofing around with friends, eating cookies, gawking at circus photos on tumblr and making plans for stupid amounts of cocktails.

Actually... screw the training montage, that just sounds like a fun day in the gym! (Well, and a 6 hour day in the gym!)

-jj

[Anivair]

That's a rough one. I'd love to say that my montage would be me moving through nature, climbing trees and hauling myself into branches, and maybe doing some crawling around. I'd like my song to be Holding Out for a Hero.

But in reality my montage would be a lot of me hastily lifting weights at home between other things and scarfing down paleo food of moderate quality. I'd also spend a lot of time online, some time frustratingly trying to drum up business, and then being sad I didn't do more stuff. But at least I'd get a cool song:

[BadWolf]

Hm, my montage would probably start out with me at the bottom of some mountains in Spring all fresh as a daisy with a pack. Cut to me sweating my butt off, guzzling water, and stopping to breathe. Then cut to me in the heat of summer, giving my water bottle to lesser beings who are sitting against trees trying not to pass out, then I go off the trail out into the distance. Cut to me climbing up some rocks in autumn wearing a ragged t-shirt and a bandanna on my head to sop up sweat- naturally I stop to do some push ups on top of the mountain. End in a winter scene on the mountain, running with the deer and rescuing General Washington and his troops from the clutches of a brutal Valley Forge winter...Or something like that...

Well, whatever my montage would be the music would start as "Holy Diver" by Dio and then transition to Killswitch Engage's cover of same song.

[Timmy M]

i'd love to have a proper one like in a Rocky film, but if it were to be true to form then it'd be depressingly silly for the first half of it, then we'd be all happy that i finally learned some proper lifts, we'd go ecstatic when i found this place then get all sad and weepy when i screwed my hip up and couldn't do the things i loved most (deadlifts at the time) for ages but i'm sure from now on it'll be epic lol

[ducatisteve]

My only requirement is that I have Talia Shire in the corner giving me stern nods of approval like in the Rocky IV montage.

[Rivanariko]

I'd be training for a big dressage (horse back riding) competition. We'd probably start off with shots of me grooming my horse, and falling off my horse, the horse jumping out of the ring, and generally making an idiot out of ourselves. My trainer would be either Dotty Morkis or Cindy Sydnor, maybe Lendon Gray (this is my fantasy right?). We'd split back and forth between images of me riding while being berated by tiny mean women, running, and doing bodyweight exercises. Theme song would be "I'm still here" by Johnny Rzeznik, from Treasure Planet.

[notacommittee]

That's such an awesome question!

My montage would start with me waking up at 5am and stumbling out of bed in my gym clothes. Shots of me biking out to the gym in the rain, looking fiercer and fiercer. I get to the gym, which is this creepy old industrial-type warehouse thing and start deadlifting...like 20 pounds. Then there would be more and more shots of me doing tabatas, burpees, squatting/deadlifting progressively heavier stuff, all while looking like much more of a badass than I actually do. And my Jiu Jitsu instructor would be there the whole time - probably with at least one scene of me trying to walk away and him shoving me back under the pull-up bar. Artfully placed sweatdrops are a must. Also, all of my workout clothes would look much cooler than my actual "I got this at Goodwill for $2" shorts from the boys' section.

Music would be Metallica. I can't decide which song, but something from Load.

[Mushroom_Boy]

Epic orchestral war music (think lord of the rings battle scenes), fights with ninjas, learning some sweet gymnastics moves ending with me taking off like Superman/Neo at the end of the first Matrix movie. I wish...

[Maj. Bloodnok]

My montage?

Got two, actually. One is modern, and starts with me on the elliptical, sweating buckets and collapsing as the timer reads '8:00'. Various dissolves show me still working that torture device, and the timer going up and up. Cut to me trying on a pair of pants, finding they don't fit, and then getting out the sewing machine to take them in. Repeat two or three times, then a shot of me donating them to Goodwill and getting new pants. More dissolves: me doing goblet squats, deadlifts, etc., jumping rope in the back yard, pushups with my kids on my shoulders (smallest to largest), etc. Throw in a wrestler's bridge for good measure. Final shot: me, in a tailored suit, opening the a fancy restaurant door for my wife. A woman coming out notices me and gives me a once-over; her date notices and gives her the ol' hairy eyeball. Set the whole thing to "If I Should Fall From the Grace of God" by The Pogues.

The other: Me in doublet, slops and hose, under the tutelage of Viggo Mortensen as Captain Diego Alatriste y Tenorio. Lots of pushups, heavy lifting, long marches in armor and carrying either a halberd or musket, and fencing lessons with rapier and dagger. The montage will also feature shots and voiceovers of Juan Echanove as Don Francisco Quevedo, shaking his head and making up quatrains about how inept I am. The tone of his verses will change as I improve, of course. The final shots will involve me fencing both Captain Alatriste and Francisco Quevedo at the same time and managing to hold my own, while the voiceover compares me to Achilles and Tirante the White. Score the whole thing to Renaissance dance music; guitars, drums, flutes, etc.