A New Rebel with A New Hope

[Bonhomie]

Hello everyone

I go by Bon. I’m just starting out here but I’m hoping to finally achieve a long held dream of mine.

 

 I want to be strong.

 

I have always been pretty active but I’ve never really been strong. I have brachial plexus damage on one side that affects my arm, hand, shoulder, and also my back to some extent. The injury happened at birth so it’s affected the growth of my bones and muscles. Some muscles are partially or fully paralyzed so I have poor motor skills and a lot of weakness on that side. Fortunately, I was blessed with very good doctors and physical therapists who really helped me out for the first 17 years of my life so I faired better than many kids with the same injury. However, the years of PT were very difficult. The exercises were a never ending struggle and the constant evaluations of how close to normal I could get left me feeling defeated. How could I work so hard and all I had to show for it at my best was that I was “almost normal”? It was also hard to tell why I was struggling. Was muscle weakness why I couldn’t raise my arm higher or swim straight or do a push up? Or was it the paralysis affecting the muscles?  I had several surgeries along the was as well. Each was prefaced by 6-12 months of therapy to build up strength, all of which I would loose in the down time after the surgery. Then post op therapy for a similar amount of time afterward. The up and down was frustrating. >.< 

 

Still, I always wanted to be strong. Throughout all of my life I thought how great that would be. However, I have believed for a long time that it’s not something I’m capable of achieving. If “almost normal” was so hard, strong must be beyond my abilities.  

 

But lately I’ve started looking at things differently. I feel like my view of strength was too narrow. Probably never going to be able to benchpress hundreds of pounds, but I don’t want to do therapy anymore. I also don’t want to worry about fixing myself or getting normal stats. Instead, I want to exercise, workout and be healthy, simply to be my strongest self. Focus on what I can do.  I want to have the strength to run the whole bike path, to carry all the family groceries and laundry up three flights without sweating, and maybe even finally master that push up I’ve always wanted to be able to do. 

 

Its all still forming in my mind I guess. The vision of what I want to accomplish isn’t crystal clear yet but it’s growing. At least, I know I no longer want to just give up.   I’m hoping that by being here I might get tips, ideas, and some inspiration on how to build my strength while working with my injury. Or maybe even come across someone with a similar challenge.

 

Thanks for listening 

 

[Defining]

[juliebarkley]

Welcome to the Rebellion!