Suddenly feeling down and out

[shiggles]

Yo folks. I just read through someone else's thread on depression. It helped, but I feel I have a similar but slightly different issue that perhaps I can get some kind thoughts on. From my readings on depression this isn't quite it as it's not so permanent but here we go.

Over the last 6, maybe as much as 12 months I’ve had the occasional moments where something will set me off and I feel really down. It’s normally something that would cause me a smallish frustration in normal times but suddenly seems so much worse at times to the point where it I have to excuse myself and go somewhere quiet to have a bit of a teary. It’s as if that one small thing has reminded me of all the ways my life is far from perfect. It only happens once every few months but happened tonight hence this post.

Now the bit that makes it worse is that I look at these situations rationally and it doesn’t make sense. Why should I feel so down over a very small bump in the road? And even worse is I have concerned friends who try to help, but I can’t find any explanation to tell them why it happens because I don’t know myself and it makes it very hard to talk about. I’ve been tempted to say someone in the family has died just so we all know how to act.

I’ve actually seen a counsellor at uni but I didn’t seem to really click with her. She seemed to be implying that it was due to stress and that I should drop hobby and sports time. And yes there’s an element of truth to that, but if I wasn’t doing my hobbies, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself in the spare time, and I certainly wouldn’t want to use that time to study.

So yeah, I’m at the point where I’m not sure where I should be going. I’m tempted to call up for another appointment at the uni counsellor for advice. But any other advice here is welcomed. Even self-help book recommendations.

[canadafats]

Hey Shiggles,

My first concern is with your councilor. If she told you to drop the things you love then she is an idiot. Every professional I've spoken to says that you should increase the things you love to do. Eff her!

As for your issue with getting upset at the smallest issue. I had the same "issue" except it was anger for me. The smallest issue would set me off and I'd start yelling and would not get over it. This little issue would stay with me for the whole day and I couldn't let it go. (And I knew it was irrational but I couldn't help it) Everything came to a head one morning when we were getting ready for work and one of my kids did something like spill their milk or something (I can't quite remember) and I flew off the handle. I got super pissed off and started throwing things around, raising my voice, etc. FYI, I NEVER hit my children so don't worry about that. There were a few other things that happened that morning and my wife was very concerned.

I made a doctor's appointment and broke down in his office. He said that I suffered from mild to moderate depression and anxiety. He wrote a prescription and it has helped immensely! I'm not one to jump to pills but in this case it was well worth it. My only wish is that I had gone to see him sooner to start the medication earlier in my life. I wasted a lot of time being angry when I could have been enjoying life a little better.

I really wanted you to know that you are not alone and that this type of thing happens to a lot of people. I really recomend you get a second or third opinion. Good luck.

[Bean]

Hey Shiggles

I fully agree with canadafats. I am no medical practitioner, but what you describe certainly sounds like the start of / early depression and it is worth talking to a professional ASAP. The uni counsellor may not be your best option - although I don't know her qualifications - and it might be better to consult a qualified psychologist / psychiatrist.

Don't give up the hobbies or the sports without a serious second/third/fourth opinion. Doesn't sound right.

You are definitely not alone.

[Artinum]

Now the bit that makes it worse is that I look at these situations rationally and it doesn’t make sense. Why should I feel so down over a very small bump in the road? And even worse is I have concerned friends who try to help, but I can’t find any explanation to tell them why it happens because I don’t know myself and it makes it very hard to talk about.

Depression is weird like that. People expect you to have a reason for it, but there usually isn't one (or not an obvious one). It's a brain chemistry thing. Knowing that can help - rather than looking for a cause, you can focus on reducing the impact until it sorts itself out. And it WILL sort itself out, though you might not believe it while you're going through it.

So yeah, I’m at the point where I’m not sure where I should be going. I’m tempted to call up for another appointment at the uni counsellor for advice. But any other advice here is welcomed. Even self-help book recommendations.

University counsellors are really for students with normal stress - exams, etc. They aren't necessarily qualified for actual mental disorders. But then, hey, I take a strong dislike to counselling. I may be biased. As for books, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers is an old favourite of mine.

[Gonestarfishing]

Shiggles - so sorry to hear about your struggles. You are not the only one! The same exact thing happened to me a couple of weekends ago. Someone made a joking comment to me that normally I would have been totally fine with and joked right back, but for whatever reason it flipped a switch in me and I had to excuse myself from dinner to go cry in the bathroom for a minute. The fact that I reacted that way started to cause a negative feedback loop in my brain - everyone is thinking you're weird because you reacted like that, I can't believe you over-reacted, but why did they say that thing to set me off, why did it set me off in the first place, oops someone just made me chuckle but I'm not finished being upset yet, I wish I was anywhere but here - and so on and so forth.

I'm afraid I need to try counseling too. I'm out of college at this point, but while I was there I remember that university counselors were good at one thing and one thing only: referring you out to a real professional who is better equipped to diagnose you and/or prescribe you medication.

Good for you for having the foresight to reach out for help - this was (and still is!) the hardest part of the whole process for me. I'm procrastinating in calling my shrink to make an appointment. Your post has inspired me to give him a buzz tomorrow. I know that life can get better/easier. Do what I did not do, and get yourself some help now - it's not worth letting a few years pass trying to fix things yourself when it's so much easier to reach out to someone who is more equipped to handle these things.

And remember, what you are going through is not at all unusual. You can, and will get through this!

*hugs*

[oystergirl]

Sending you a huge hug. You have a lot of support of wonderful friends here but I wanted to share a few different things that they have not brought up yet.

First, Check your levels of saturated fat and omega 3's in your diet. If you need to make a little switch away from omega 6-polyunsaturated fats like vegetable seed oils try that for a bit and see how it feels. That really helped me adjust my moods.

I have had SAD for many years. I do not know if right now you are getting regular sunlight on your retina's early in the day. I am not saying stare at the sun (though at sunrise you most certainly can try sun gazing which really helps put you back into rhythm) Light irregularities or an absense of real full spectrum light in your life can seriously affect you.

Ground yourself. Take some time each day to either sit with your butt on the ground or touch the soil with your bare feet. You can sit on a blanket but sitting on the grass is better. Spending about 10-30 minutes "earthing" yourself seriously helps ground you especially if you are exposed to a lot of extraneous electrical equipment. It really helps.

Lastly, if you have some time to think about your center and getting centered energetically and spiritually with meditation, chakra energy work, yoga, energy healing, crystal therapy, breathe work etc, these things can help immensely. I know for me, as an empath, if I am very far away from my usual frequency by either being sick, getting into a repetitive mental loop of worry, have stressed out adrenals or if I partied hard, I can feel completely bereft and almost like a basket case. We are so used to "feeling" a certain way but we are also used to vibrating at a certain frequency. If your energy goes way up or way down, you can feel anxious or ill. Among energy therapists right now we are also discussing the fact that solar flare activities are very strong now and the solar energy bombarding us can create physical issues and feelings of anxiety and depression.

Take what you will from this all, but remember, I am sending you love and healing energy and I wish you very well.

[Silence]

Everyone else has already given you great advice. I ditto seeing a different counselor. I'll be honest. There are a lot of crummy ones and it takes a while to sort them out. their advice is just that advice. It does not mean that it works for you.

I agree that it sounds like beginning stages of depression. Having no reason for it is common and completely normal for depression. I've had issues with depression and still do. You can burst into tears one minute and be fine the next. Just because you feel pretty good does not mean that depression is gone and sometimes it comes in for seemingly no reason when you least expect. If you can at all arrange it though, talk to a doctor. They can if nothing else recommend a more helpful counselor.

Also, evaluate how much sleep you're getting regularly and if it's good sleep, not you're tense or you're waking up every few hours. I find that if I'm not getting at least a few hours of good solid sleep, my depression issues get much worse. It's hard to deal with anything productively when you're simply exhausted.(((hugs))) hopefully this can provide you with a few ideas and if you have more questions or want someone to vent to let me know. I know all too well how frustrating it can be to deal with.

[Phoenix]

Speaking from experience:

1.Please see a professional.

I was on anti-depressants for a while. In my case, they made me go numb. At that point of time, that was better for me than anything else.

2.Know the difference between clinical depression and sadness.

Sadness is an emotion caused by a certain event.

Depression is a medical problem, the symptoms of which look very close to the emotion of sadness. Don't try to find the 'incident' that triggered your depression. If you are down with a cold you wouldn't spend time trying to isolate the incident which lead you to getting infected with a cold, would you?

http://www.theironsamurai.com/2011/07/16/managing-depression-with-weightlifting-or-how-you-feel-is-a-lie/

3.Know your stress busters.

When I'm down, some things that get me out of the rut are:

*music

*cold temperature

*medicine

*certain articles, books