reformatting cellsoup

[Guest cellsoup]

(july 2021) intention - practice discipline; show up for myself.
(week 27-week 30) - practice just enough discipline to show up and perform the rituals that sustain my well-being.

 

1. resistance band workout - 30m 3x week, ≥12 of 28 days (43%)

why? 

1.) increase confidence, self-esteem, sense of self-efficacy. reconnect with my body.

2.) feeling my body get stronger makes me feel safe being alone. makes the idea of doing Outside Things again less scary.

3.) practice towards "mastery" of a thing also decreases shame that ADHD brings on.

 

2. read - 40 pg/day, 6x week ⇒ ~240 pgs/week (1 book)

 

why? 

1.) purpose, direction, advice. "mentorship" through written word

2.) reading is self-care. reground in present. chill out, racing mind.

3.) have >25 books to re-read and zettel properly. let's gooooo

 

3. write - 300 words/day, 5x week ⇒ 1,500 words/week 

 

why? 

1.) bipoc queer/trans homos are dying out here. there is a map to healing. it is scattered across different resources, modalities, disciplines. we need a map. hard to think let alone do research when stuck in trauma loops, cycles of major depression. doesn't have to hurt so much.

2.) i'm a mouthy bitch. got things to say. those who survived our ancient reptile brain can share our learnings. prevent more self-harm.

3.) need to get a rough cut out to community before november holidays. when things start falling apart. 

 

[Guest cellsoup]

resistance band workout - 30m 3x week (>40%)

push (chest, shoulders, and triceps): 

pull (back, biceps, and forearms):  

core (abs and lower back): 

legs (quads, hammies, booty): 

 

did you show up and try your best?

             M    T    W    R     F      S      S        %

W27 ? ⭕️ ?️ ?️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  43%

W28 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

W29 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

W30 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

 

daily log:

1. what exercises? how many sets, reps? weight? how did it feel?

2. morale/energy before? after? (low 1--5 high)

 

week 27: july 5 - july 11, 2021

 

5 mon (abs):

1. twists (12, 10, 8) 10lb 

--hold core. don't drop back to middle so fast, go slow

2. reverse crunch (3, 4, 6, 7, 7) 10lb

--kicked my ass. saying "i love you [cellsoup]" with each rep helped a lot. less painful

3. bicycle (3, 3, 3) 10lb

--oh god what a shitshow. wobble wobble wobble. idk how to keep form, just wiggling all over the place. its kind of hilarious. hurts so good tho.

- before: M2/E2 - after: M5/E4

 

6 tues: 

- woke up feeling crummy. know now was pms symptoms. haven't bled in ~10 years. can't believe ppl just live w this emotional rollercoaster @_@ unsubscribe please

- told self i would work out later 

- did not work out later

 

7 wed (tricep/bicep): learned from yesterday, do the thing before brain can trick me into putting it off.

1. curls (2x18) 10lb

--right arm way meatier than left. need to even out. reps with just left? possibly increase weight or resistance. can do quite a few reps more than planned. before get close to limit.

2. tricep kickbacks (2x8) 10lb

--triceps are bbs. owwwww.

- note: only 10m in AM. perhaps a timer to count down for each exercise? counting reps while also trying to focus on holding muscles n keeping form is hard rn. noob. 

- before: M3/E4 - after: M5/E5

 

8 thurs (tricep/shoulder): 

1. tricep pushdowns (12, 12, 10) 10lb

--felt easier than last week

2. shoulder rotations, abduction + adduction - R(13+12), L(12+10)

--may they never dislocate ever again

- note: setting time timer countdown was helpful! even if i lost count, the visible reminder that not that much time has passed made me keep going

- before: M4/E4 - after: M5/E5

 

9 fri: 

10 sat: 

11 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

--time timer countdowns

2. what will you adjust?

--do the thing asap. after bathroom, but before kitchen. your brain lies!!!

 

week 28: july 12 - july 18, 2021

 

12 mon: 

13 tues: 

14 wed:

15 thurs:

16 fri: 

17 sat: 

18 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 29: july 19 - july 25, 2021

 

19 mon:

20 tues:

21 wed:

22 thurs: 

23 fri: 

24 sat: 

25 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 30: july 26 - august 1, 2021

 

26 mon:

27 tues:

28  wed:

29 thurs:

30 fun:

31 sat:

1 sun:

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

[Guest cellsoup]

read - - 40 pg/day, 6x week ⇒ ~240 pgs/week (~1 book/week)

 

did you reach the daily page count?

             M    T    W    R     F      S     S    % of book?

W27 ? ? ?️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  50%

W28 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

W29 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

W30 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

 

week 27: july 5 - july 11, 2021

 

- the ONE thing by gary w. keller and jay papasan (92/184, 50%)

 

5 mon:

read ch 8-9 of the one thing. (40%)

learned: limiting self to small goals out of fear of failure sets a low ceiling. can only act small if hold self in small space. i am more than my depression. yes, important to have goals to implement systems that maintain avg stable mood, and energy. yes, and, also. i am allowed to think big. i don't want just one dog, i want SEVEN DOGS. means i need bigger space. i want many humans in my life. i want to help more than i hurt. my PTSD is NOT happy being in place where sirens n fireworks going off for 3 months. need to gtfo. THINK BIG. don't want others to suffer thru major depression n other mood disorders alone, fumbling around for resources, trying failing trying failing without direction like i did. it doesn't have to be this way. must write, even if i'm scared. even when brain says i'm not good enough. whatever dude, just write! <3

 

6 tues:

read ch 10-11 of the one thing. (92/184, 50%)

learned: uh, kind of changed my life. small goals, small actions, small efforts. extraordinary goals, huge effort towards huge actions. complete mindshift of what i'm capable of. am more than depression. can do more than what i believed i would be able to do. i feel better than before. kind of wild. he speaks on similar themes that others do. cal newport, august bradley, greg mckeown, james clear. but he does so without ego. based in connection to family, connection to himself. not on productive output for sake of ego or financial gain. or doing productivity. easier to relate to. 

 

7 wed:

read intro, + appendix & references of daring greatly. (7%) 

learned: i've been on the path longer than i knew. keep pushing, keep going.

note: i bounce from books. i would like to finish the one thing before completing daring greatly. i'm almost done. T12:50:10

 

8 thurs: 

9 fri: 

10 sat: 

11 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

--read with notebook nearby for quick lit-notes

2. what will you adjust?

--start reading earlier in day. with breakfast or after breakfast

 

week 28: july 12 - july 18, 2021

 

12 mon: 

13 tues: 

14 wed:

15 thurs:

16 fri: 

17 sat: 

18 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 29: july 19 - july 25, 2021

 

19 mon:

20 tues:

21 wed:

22 thurs: 

23 fri: 

24 sat: 

25 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 30: july 26 - august 1, 2021

 

26 mon:

27 tues:

28  wed:

29 thurs:

30 fun:

31 sat:

1 sun:

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

[Guest cellsoup]

write - 300 words/day, 5x week ⇒ 1,500 words/week 

 

did you reach the daily word count?

             M    T    W    R     F      S     S        %

W27 ⭕️ ? ⭕ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  17%

W28 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

W29 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

W30 ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️  0%

 

week 27: july 5 - july 11, 2021

- synthesize lit-notes for man's search for meaning + the one thing

 

5 mon:

topic: mindmap themes & topics for survival handbook

 

6 tues:

topic: outlined themes, topics, subtopics. began filling in research & reference points to start. 

word count: 1,467

 

7 wed:

topic: resume

word count: ?

 

8 thurs: 

9 fri: 

10 sat: 

11 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 28: july 12 - july 18, 2021

- synthesize lit-notes for daring greatly

 

12 mon: 

13 tues: 

14 wed:

15 thurs:

16 fri: 

17 sat: 

18 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 29: july 19 - july 25, 2021

- synthesize lit-notes for thinking, fast and slow

 

19 mon:

20 tues:

21 wed:

22 thurs: 

23 fri: 

24 sat: 

25 sun: 

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?

 

week 30: july 26 - august 1, 2021

- synthesize lit-notes for thinking, fast and slow

 

26 mon:

27 tues:

28  wed:

29 thurs:

30 fun:

31 sat:

1 sun:

 

end of week review: 

1. what will you repeat?

2. what will you adjust?