A little late to the party, but better late than never!

[TinkG6]

Hi! (I apologize in advance, I am really bad at self introductions. I never know if I am giving too much or not - so whatever, here it is!)

My name is Sandy and I am 28 y/o female in Northern NJ. Since I hit puberty and these hips came outta no where, I have always been a tall (5'7-8" ish), long legged, hourglass figured girl. From Freshman year until my early 20's I was a consistent size 9 jeans and Size Small top (130ish weight) (try shopping for a non custom dress, absolute hell). But then I got comfortable in a relationship and quit smoking at 23 (had been smoking since 11-12ish). The comfortable life and the shock to my metabolism, I had gained 40ish lbs and went to a Size 13 jeans and Size L shirts. The curves helped me not notice it so much for a while, and well, I was already in a long term relationship, soooo ehhhhh, didn't really bother me. I told myself I wasn't unhealthy so it wasn't a big deal.

A few weeks before my 25th birthday my then fiance Chris was taken from me tragically in a car accident and sent my life into upheaval. At the time I had just purchased my first pair of Size 15 jeans and most of the 13's were snug, wearable but pretty snug and was about 175lb. In the following months due to stress, moving, and just general grief stuff, I dropped down significantly. I never really weighed myself but by November/December I was back into my Size 9 jeans. I dyed my blond hair red for a change and was just in a very weird place in life. I also started smoking again the day he passed.

For the next 2 years I lived life as normally as I could, working full time and trying to lead a typical mid 20's life. And slowly the weight came back as my life got more calm and settled. I never really minded as I didn't exactly lose weight in a healthy way to begin with. I would try a diet here or there, but nothing ever stuck, and honestly it wasn't a priority. I started Invisalign braces in 2010 and figured that might help since you couldn't snack as often, etc. It was also Step 1 in my Personal Transformation Goal (my smile was always my worst confidence issue. Thin lips, big gap, and just general misalignment issues). It was something I was unhappy with and could control (and take a mortgage out to pay for, oi!).

2011 the goal was to start focus more on the mental/emotional side of things. I got my own apartment again after living with a roommate previously and trying to build my life up. It was the best decision I made. But having a kitchen again/budget living, I was not eating healthy at ALL and more pounds kept coming on quick. I knew it was happening but once again didn't see it as a priority. I knew deep down it was, but I am the master at ignoring or manipulating emotional responses. I was also getting to the point of thinking of starting to date again and I think it was a bit of self sabotage (if i gained enough weight, no one would want to date me, and therefore I could ignore the entire situation, lol). By September/october I just couldn't avoid the blatant weight gain in pictures, etc and it was finally becoming a reality. In December, I decided to quit smoking. I did it cold turkey again, with a lot candy canes consumed. I had tried a few times before that year, but was never completely serious about it. After suffering a pretty bad cold, I went to the local LA Fitness (which I had been a paying member of for 2 years but barely ever attended) and on December 30th I spoke to a sales associate and signed up for training sessions. I know myself, without obligation, I can become very lazy. So now, there were no excuses.

So 2012 focus - physical transformation

I started my training experience January 2. I weighed in at 190lbs and was just awful at any cardio, strength, or flexibility tests. I also committed to healthy eating. I guess it's a diet, except that I am not following any technical plan other than rough estimate calorie counting, portion control and general balanced meals. It was very hard at first but by now is like second nature. so fast forward and I'll just put where I am at right now.

I have been seeing the trainer 2-3 x a week for 30 minute sessions (I know the rules say that you guys don't like weight machines or the like, but we focus most on free weight, balance ball, body work, with very little bits of machines included). I also do 20-30 minute cardio sessions those day as well as 1-2 extra days during the week on the elliptical and/or stair machine (which I have titled "The Stairway to Hell"). If I don't feel like going to the gym on a non training day, I at least do a Crunch Slim Down Cardio Pilates DVD workout at home as well as squats and other core work. Also, now that the weather is getting nicer, I try to always walk to and from the gym (It is very local - 15-20 minute was each direction). My diet consists of a lot of ground turkey/chicken/tuna fish/white fish and veggies. I buy the bulk bags of frozen broccoli and mixed vegetables and pretty much eat a container full with all meals. I've also introduced a lot of fruit. It's not perfect, but it was an easy transition from having no discipline. I already pay a boat load of money to they gym each month, so supplements and the like are out of the question budget wise.

I get my 5 month measurements taken on Thursday, but at last measurements (April 17) I was at about 165lbs (25lb lost ish and total of 20.25 collective inches). You can definitely see it in my face immediately, and my tops are definitely much looser. However, my stubborn hip area just seems to not want to part with me. my Size 13's are really big on me, but most of my 11's (I held on to all my jeans from previous sides) fit but are snug or don't fit quite at all depending on the cut - damn you womens jeans manufacturers!!!). Blargh. Very frustrating. But my fitness tests are all up dramatically and I've lost 4.3% ish BMI.

Support - well technically I pay someone to be my support system with the training program at the gym but they kinda suck but I'm locked into a year contract so using it to best I can. Actually I embellish, the few trainers that have been consistent so far are actually really cool, it's just the program/corporation sucks in general. Otherwise, all of my friends and family are aware of my daily work and goals and are very supportive, but "Good jobs" and "nice work" platitudes don't really do anything for me. I need people who know what I am going through specifically and understand the complaints and joys..... so here I am after that unbelievably long introduction. And most importantly, call me on bullcrap.

I don't have a precise weight I want to be at. With my body structure it is hard to place a weight that works and is also healthy. I guess 130ish is my ultimate dream goal to be at again - but this time toned and trim, not just 130lb. Getting back to at least my Size 9's again would be great. Abs? Sure they'd be great, but as long as my tummy is toned and not preggo looking I'll be happy. Nice toned arms (toned not jacked) are a goal, and non chunky thighs (currently I do not wear short skirts or shorts). I want to do a Tough Mudder or Spartan Race next year and actually compete not just do it so I can say I did.

Hmmm, other things about me. I am a point where doing cardio at the gym is as unappealing as a route canal. I usually use the elliptical, but there is nothing I have been able to do that does not make me bored out of my mind after a few minutes. I tried reading, but there is too much motion for me to focus steadily. I have a kick ass mp3 playlist, but that even bores me. And my mind, there is only so much I can try to day dream, etc. So far in life, running has never been an option. I've never found it enticing (unless as part of game - soccer, football, etc) and I usually get shin splints within minutes. Soooo.... not sure what to do....

Oh, hmmmmm, also Thursday was 5 months of no smoking (no cheating at all), so that has made me pretty proud.

I also started posting my daily food consumption, fitness efforts of the day and general feelings and progress in a blog. I'm beyond impressed that I've stuck with it and recorded every day since mid Feb. It definitely helps to keep me honest and true. However, as of this moment, I've never given the address out. I guess I just don't get why anyone would want to know the minute details of my life, lo, but i keep doing it!

Sooooooooo.... yeah...... hello!!! I really liked what I have seen so far on the website (I'm a very proud dork) and look forward to building some fun and productive friendships.

[tigersheart]

WELCOME! and wow, that was quite the intro...but very well done.

Sounds like you have a great start already, and I believe you are in the right place. People here are very friendly, very helpful, and very willing to call bullcrap when needed

I am right there with you on how boring exercise can be, which is one reason I do not belong to a gym...i get bored, and lose my motivation. You sound like one of those people who need to constantly change up your routine..which I think is best. You will find a ton of posts here that give some great ideas, so make sure you read through them when you get a chance, or make a post asking for ideas.

Good luck to you!

[TinkG6]

Thank you so much! I've done a bit of looking around so far and am liking what I see!

[VorJoshigan]

Awesome intro!

One think you said jumped out at me "if i gained enough weight, no one would want to date me, and therefore I could ignore the entire situation, lol"

In my life I have frequently used my weight as a shield against failure. Kind of like "it's never gonna work anyway, cuz I'm fat."

It's also been an excuse to keep people away - "nobody would like me because I'm fat, so I'm not going to even try to make friends."

It's kind of like - there's no possibility of success, so there's no possibility of failure.

Did I just say the same thing 3 different ways? Geez. Anyway, I hope you get the picture.

It's taken me a long time to adopt the attitude that the worst failure is to not even try.

I'm totally with you on the mind numbing cardio. I ended up just getting my ass outta the chair & moving around while watching TV. I usually manage to do some kind of workout, but if that doesn't happen, I will absolutely do at least one commercial's worth of body weight sumo squats and one commercial's worth of high knees. That's actually getting harder now that I've nearly given up TV.

Anyway, welcome. Hope that wasn't just a bunch of nonsense.