Rebuilding my dreams

[LadyGigi]

So for one lets get it over with, I am fat. I have always been fat. When I was a child it was called baby fat and I would grow out of it. When I was a teenager I was told a growth spurt will take care of it. Then I started ignoring it all because obviously they were all wrong and I should have been getting myself help a long time ago. In college I attempted to make a fresh start and it worked for awhile... then I fell off since I could no longer pay for a gym membership and for South Beach. In my early 20s after college I tried again this time with a home exercising things and with a strict calorie intake. I managed to lose some weight but some personal issues and problems with drugs and alcohol that I used to get myself through those problems derailed that attempt.

I have since then made half hearted attempts at getting in shape and was even able to lose 20 lbs right before getting pregnant with my daughter. At first I didn't have a problem with the weight and then I just couldn't keep anything under control and gained 55lbs! ACK! I lost 20lbs right after the birth and had been struggling with the rest since then. Now my daughter is 2 and while in that time I have lost AND kept off another 16 lbs which I am happy about it.

I want to give a brief history of the last month. We were trying fertility treatments again to get pregnant and this time it wasn't working no matter what we did. I became tired of the struggle, the hoping and the failing that I had a break down over it. I made the decision that I was done with the treatments. It breaks my husband's heart but he is holding out hope that I will want to try again next year. So now that I no longer harbor the dream of having more children I decided I needed a new dream.

That is to be half my size in a year.

Right now I am 250 lbs so I belive 125 lbs is a good goal to get to. I want do this more then just getting through my pain. I want to show my daughter that you don't have to grow up fat.

My plan of action is two fold. I am going to try and follow the Paleo diet but modify it because I don't want to give up everything. I want to be more moderate in most foods though. I am also trying to be more active. I have started by taking walks with my daughter several times a day for about 30 minutes each. I am hoping to start swimming a few times a week this summer in the mornings. I also want to try getting into jogging.

Well that's my story, by the way if you are on FitnessPal please add me!

LadyGigiS! i would have to have some friends on there to keep me in check

Gigi

BTW - I love World of Warcraft, WoW Lore Nerd and in general a book worm

[Elastigirl]

Welcome, sounds like you have a great plan!

[Sambalina]

Hi LadyGigi,

Welcome

I think your motivation (to be a good role model for your daughter) is really inspiring.

What is it you're worried about giving up when 'going paleo'?

We're here to support you!

Sam

[LadyGigi]

Thank you!

And mostly cheese and bread. Partly because my husband would never agree to that diet, I have tried to persuade him several times. So instead of cutting it out completely I want to get to the point that moderation allows me to still have what I used to eat just not every day or every meal. But for the times I do eat cheese and bread I want to take the 'whole food' approach and only eat home made or ones that I can understand the ingredients. I already attempt that but haven't been too vigilant about it yet.

[Sambalina]

Cheese and bread are a wonderful combination! Mmmm, with butter... And home made bread

That sounds like a really good approach - and it'll keep you sane, too.

[Sambalina]

Hey LadyGigi, how's it going with your challenge?

[sumdawgtwigg]

Welcome and I think you have great motivation. You can do and there are plenty here that will help you.

[Megs]

I just joined the rebellion too! Also motivated by my daughter (11 months). Keep it up, you can do it! I find that reminding myself that I am her example helps me alot. It's kind of become my mantra when the going gets tough. Best of luck!