Needing encouragement ...

[Skirler]

Hey everyone ... Your druids/clerics could use some serious encouragement in their challenge thread. We're a very small group, and we may not be focusing on "lift all the heavy" ... but we are vital to the zombie apocalypse. Who else is going to work the Circle of Protection or make the healing potions???

Serious question though: when your enthusiasm starts to wane, and you don't have much in the way of support - how do you all keep yourselves going? I feel like I'm talking to myself, and I have little support here at home (especially on the part about sticking to it all) ... I'm finding that, saying to myself "do it for yourself, cuz it is good for you" can feel utterly inadequate. How do you keep it going when you get like that? Maybe it is chickenshit of me to need outside support ... and maybe I should be truly satisfied with doing it for myself, but I am really struggling with that. What do you all tell yourselves when you hit a low point? What do you do to get out of the discouragement?

[Evicious]

Personally? I take time off. Sometimes, I even make a big show of it - y'know, have a temper tantrum, snatch up my ball, and stomp my feet as loudly as I can while I walk home. :-P It's surprising how little time it takes for me to remember why I do what I do once I stop doing it. I start to miss it, and next thing I know, I'm right back on the bandwagon again! Give yourself a break and see if that helps any.

It is very important to learn to do things that are good for you solely for yourself - but it is a mindset, and those take time and effort to acquire. You didn't come to love your favorite book by someone telling you it was an awesome read: you took time out of your day to read it for yourself. Same thing with the book of life: don't try to write your life story out so other people will want to read it, write it so you will.

[Kewilson]

I take stalk of how far I've come since I've started; I think about the lost weight, the gained muscle, the clothes that now fit and especially the clothes that no longer do*.

*Of course, these goals may be different for Druids.

[Vickyloo]

I tend to trawl the internet for before/after pics and success stories and inspirational quotes and all that jazz. It seems to motivate me.

[sumdawgtwigg]

I read inspirational stuff. I look up photos and videos as well. I also try to remember all the people who cant.

[shadowkat]

I know I'd struggle with "do it for yourself cus it's good for you." I need more concrete reasons.

I've had more luck getting fit/losing weight this year than ever before for a few reasons...

- I'm looking for work, so I have time on my hands

- I'm hoping to be accepted to train to be a paramedic, and I need to pass a fitness test

- I broke in my horse this year, and I want to be fit enough to ride him well

- I started oozing into size 16 (Aus) clothes instead of size 14!

So a combination of time, fitness goals and vanity

Can you aim for something, like smaller pants/more advanced yoga classes/running a marathon etc, that will prod you when just "I know I should..." doesn't work?

[RedCedar]

I don't think it's chickenshit to need outside support at all. Yes, doing it for yourself is the most important, and motivation needs to come from you first, but sometimes you need a little backup. Especially if you don't have much support around you. It can be really tiring to be the only one making healthy choices if your family/friends are not, or worse, tease you about it. It's ok to need support, that's what we are here for!

When I'm low on motivation and feeling discouraged, I have a few strategies:

I ask myself "Do I want a better life than the one I am living right now?"

I read NF posts, or look elsewhere for motivational quotes/pictures/stories etc.

I keep a list of reasons why I am working on getting healthy, and I go back and read them when I need too. On of the biggest motivators for me is being a good role model for my friends and family.

I'd say try making a pro/con list of reasons to stay on track, and reasons not to. It may help you remember why you set the goals that you did, and remind you why they are important to you.

I think Druids/Clerics are way cool, and King Pigeon pose is badass! *Sending positive vibes and lots of encouragement* Good luck on your quest for a better life!

[Skirler]

Thanks everyone, for the great suggestions. I have really specific strength (and balance) goals with my yoga practice so my focus, in and of itself, is clear. I guess where I'm getting so stuck is that, apart from myself, no one seems to give a damn. Example - I got into crow pose - didn't even know I could - and I did. Solidly. I was so excited - so proud of myself. Told some of my closest friends and family - and they looked at me like I sprouted horns on my head. One person even said, "Why would you *want* to do that?" Instant deflation. Instant. Made me start second guessing my goals. Just made me feel like maybe my goals and habits have no value to anyone besides me.

I realize that should be enough, but sometimes it just isn't. I also realize I suck at self-validation. Hell - maybe that's what I am supposed to be working on then.

[Skirler]

Personally? I take time off. Sometimes, I even make a big show of it - y'know, have a temper tantrum, snatch up my ball, and stomp my feet as loudly as I can while I walk home. :-P It's surprising how little time it takes for me to remember why I do what I do once I stop doing it. I start to miss it, and next thing I know, I'm right back on the bandwagon again! Give yourself a break and see if that helps any.

It is very important to learn to do things that are good for you solely for yourself - but it is a mindset, and those take time and effort to acquire. You didn't come to love your favorite book by someone telling you it was an awesome read: you took time out of your day to read it for yourself. Same thing with the book of life: don't try to write your life story out so other people will want to read it, write it so you will.

LoL - I really like this. All of it. You are definitely right that it is a mindset to develop. I have not developed it well. Must practice!

[tigersheart]

It is NOT chickenshit....we all need some sort of outside encouragement now and then.

I change things up when I get like that. Though I am someone that seldom keeps to a specific routine anyway, when I get really down and burned out, I change what I am doing. If I do the same stuff over...and over....and over....I get burned out and have a tendency to get lazy.

This goes for your exercise, your eating, your regular life as well.

Make it an adventure, and make it up as you go along.

[Vickyloo]

Thanks everyone, for the great suggestions. I have really specific strength (and balance) goals with my yoga practice so my focus, in and of itself, is clear. I guess where I'm getting so stuck is that, apart from myself, no one seems to give a damn. Example - I got into crow pose - didn't even know I could - and I did. Solidly. I was so excited - so proud of myself. Told some of my closest friends and family - and they looked at me like I sprouted horns on my head. One person even said, "Why would you *want* to do that?" Instant deflation. Instant. Made me start second guessing my goals. Just made me feel like maybe my goals and habits have no value to anyone besides me.

I realize that should be enough, but sometimes it just isn't. I also realize I suck at self-validation. Hell - maybe that's what I am supposed to be working on then.

Maybe you should get some new friends? Obviously, I don't mean drop your old ones but perhaps start spending some time with people who share your goals or have similar ones.

Congratulations, by the way, for getting into the crow pose! That is really awesome.

[ETFnerd]

[ETFnerd]

I also realize I suck at self-validation. Hell - maybe that's what I am supposed to be working on then.

Does what other people think of you mean more to you than what you think of yourself?

many people feel this way including myself at times... we live in a social world.

But i think one needs to balance what you need to love yourself for and what you need other people to love you for. it's an important exercise...

and people who say they don't care what other people think are self-absorbed, lonely fools...

[Eurydice]

Maybe you should get some new friends? Obviously, I don't mean drop your old ones but perhaps start spending some time with people who share your goals or have similar ones.

That would be my vote. It's no reflection on your friends, it's just that people are focused on their own goals and what doesn't interest them doesn't interest them, you know? If my best friend has all sorts of goals around, I don't know, motocross racing or something, then when she achieves one I'll be happy she's happy but I'm not going to be invested in it.

Is there a yoga studio near you that would be a nice place to hang out at?

[Elastigirl]

That's why I like to post in the Woot thread. People on this forum get it and they'll encourage you, and having people say you did a good job is important.

And I think all the poses you're learning to do are amzing. The crow pose is hard!!! I tried it the other day and couldn't even do it with one foot on the ground. That's great, especially since you're getting over a bad shoulder.

[Skirler]

Hell yes.

[Skirler]

Does what other people think of you mean more to you than what you think of yourself?

many people feel this way including myself at times... we live in a social world.

But i think one needs to balance what you need to love yourself for and what you need other people to love you for. it's an important exercise...

and people who say they don't care what other people think are self-absorbed, lonely fools...

Sometimes, yes. Outside validation that I have value and that what I am working toward has value is important to me. It doesn't drive me, but I do need it every now and again. I think everyone does.

And this, Good Sir, "one needs to balance what you need to love yourself for and what you need other people to love you for" is quite profound, and I think I needed to hear it.

[Skirler]

That would be my vote. It's no reflection on your friends, it's just that people are focused on their own goals and what doesn't interest them doesn't interest them, you know? If my best friend has all sorts of goals around, I don't know, motocross racing or something, then when she achieves one I'll be happy she's happy but I'm not going to be invested in it.

Is there a yoga studio near you that would be a nice place to hang out at?

I think you both may be correct. I have no "fitness pals" - never really have since I got out of the military. I'm sure there are yoga studios around, however that particular idea comes with costs involved, which right now I can't afford. I'm going to have to think this one through and see if I can't come up with some alternatives to that, where I'm with other people.

Admittedly, everyone here certainly helps.

[Skirler]

That's why I like to post in the Woot thread. People on this forum get it and they'll encourage you, and having people say you did a good job is important.

I just discovered that thread ... maybe that is what I should have done! Groovy solution, Elastigirl - thanks! (And you're a damn fine cheerleader yourself!)