This time it's for me.

[karakura green]

So here I am, starting again for the one millionth time.

I've been the fat kid since forever but in 2011 I really decided it was time for a change. I started off by eating better and exercising here and there. I'd see some results, change a few things, see a little more results. Then I found the whole9 site which led me to Nerd Fitness and I changed a few more things (namely going 80-90% paleo and working out NF style) and I got better results. I started off 5'6" at 260 lbs and in April of this year I put on my wedding dress weighing 190 lbs. And I felt GREAT!

Then something happened...

I'm not exactly sure what but I have been converting back to all my old ways. People who see me eating ask what's wrong because it's not meat and veggies but fast food and sodas. I feel terrible...inside and out. I haven't stepped on a scale but I'm willing to bet I've gained at LEAST 15 of those lbs back. I think in a way that before, although I was changing because I wanted to, I had a reason that was tied to someone else...I was getting healthy for my wedding or for whatever...and it wasn't really, truly, purely for ME.

But I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being this way and tired of feeling like this. I didn't grasp the full effect paleo had on my life but I can tell you that I physically hurt in some way every day and I did not when I was eating right. It sucks.

So starting Wednesday (only because I have another 12 hr night shift ahead of me and have no time for prep), I'm going back. I'm completely changing back to the things that make me feel amazing and I'm doing it for me...completely selfish.

I'm writing this post for two reasons:

1) To announce it publicly to others who may make me accountable (and to make me accountable because I've announced it and now I have to put up or shut up).

2) To seek encouragement from any source (so long as it is positive).

I've signed up for a color run 5k in November and a friend wants me to do a warrior dash in October...the deadline for the dash is the end of August so my semi-long term goal is to be fit enough again to feel confident about spending the $$ to do the dash.

That's all for now

[Yanz]

Congrats on making it public and accountable!

Good luck training for your 5k! Check out C25K.

It's good to see you're doing it for you.