♡°♡My goal is....trophy wife♡°♡

[ihaveacupcake]

Brekky- 2 cups loaded coffee, 2 eggs, 1 peice deli meat, raisin toast with pb

Lunch- 2 low cal yogurt, granola

Snack- 1 loaded coffee, chocolate milk 

Supper- Cereal

Snack- Chocolate milk

 

Afternoon 

 

So the old me only ate twice a day, but I remember how bitchy I used to be. Probably from always being hungry. I never had loaded coffees either, just some milk and splenda. 

 

So now I'm eating multiple times a day. For lunch today I had yogurt and granola. One of my fav foods!

 

Well, I'm not quitting vaping. I was able to get my own vape juice today. The parking lot at the store is tiny and I suck at parking, so I actually parked at my church and walked across the parking lot. So yay for being an adult and getting my own juice.

 

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MIL picked up the kids from school, then we took them to swim lessons and my one kid did great! The other..was very defiant. And remained defiant the rest of the night. I'm missing my hubby, he's my rock and I hate when he's not around. But he has to do jobs like this sometimes, good money tho.

 

I'm gonna try and do weights and treadmill tonight when the kids are in bed. Hopefully I'll feel better then. I still feel a little under the weather from Thanksgiving.

 

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So I am making a promise to myself to make sure I start working out again. I'm honestly tired of all the pacing and thinking that should be my only form of exercise, it's not what I want. My goal (and I have to keep reminding myself) is to become fit. So I need to prioritize working out 5x a week. Weights 4x and interval training 5x. Weekends off. 

 

I want to do a body recomp. Not caring about the number on the scale anymore.

 

My MIL and SIL go to a fitness class twice a week at church and the instructor uses 20lbs! She's tiny and not bulky, so hopefully I won't become bulky when o get to lifting 10lbs. I won't be eating at surplus so I shouldn't bulk up. Instead I will eat 1800 which is just below maintenance when I'm not pacing a bunch. I'll cap steps at 15k, which I achieve this by pacing first thing in the morning, dog walk and treadmill. Let's gooooo.

 

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Had an afternoon snack of a loaded coffee and chocolate milk.

 

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Got the kids fed supper, cleaned up and in bed. I had a simple but yummy big bowl of cereal for supper! 

 

Got my workout in! Did 7lb weights at 7 while the kids watched and joined in.

 

Got the kids in bed and no treadmill, too tired.

 

Nighty night ? ? 

 

[ihaveacupcake]

Intake- lots

 

I kinda binged today ?‍♀️ starting tomorrow I am doing the slim fast diet. I will pick some up after dropping my kids off. I've had success twice on it before. 7 years ago and 3 years ago I believe. 

 

I know it's not the healthiest thing to have but I really do enjoy the taste of it and I never feel like snacking.

 

Workout did not happen, paced 22k steps when I was only supposed to do 15k. So not a good day. Hipefully will be better tomorrow. 

 

Hubby still isn't home, hopefully tomorrow. Had MIL over for supper, I made beef stir fry and it was so good.

 

We played card games with the kids and just us. She left and I got the kids in bed. Watched tv and in bed myself! Nighty night ? ? 

[ihaveacupcake]

Morning

 

Woke up 6 to pace. Got 8k steps in before school. Had 1 kid home sick today but he felt better as the day went on.

 

Picked up my slim fast and had my first shake at 9. It was so good, I love the taste of the chocolate royal flavor. 

 

No workout today except pacing. My stomach is hurting today, I needed cbd to help twice this morning.

[ihaveacupcake]

Afternoon

 

Took an hr nap while my sick kid played games, felt good. When I woke up I had another shake, again, so good. I mix with with 1/2 milk and 1/2 cup water. Watched my girly shows all afternoon.

 

Picked up my kid from school, came home and had 2 low cal yogurts for a snack.

 

I feel bad for not working out, but my body just didn't want to. I plan to start interval training again on Monday.

 

My hubs comes home today! Yay, I missed him so much. 

 

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My kid has exercise for homework, so he did 10 mins on the treadmill, some light weights, sit ups and push-ups. He enjoyed himself and I enjoyed watching him. 

 

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Yay, hubs is home! And after talking with him about slim fast, we agreed I shouldn't be on it. I admit I had a minor relapse with anorexia. So I plan to eat normally starting tomorrow, I'll have the slim fast for a snack to finish it off. I didn't realize how little calories are in a shake. So I'm having a larger supper and a snack later to make up the calories. Yum! I'll feel full tonight! 

 

I'm going to do a full body workout tomorrow with my 7lb dumbbells. Kids are off school Monday so I'll interval train Tuesday-Friday.

 

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Supper was fish, waffle fries and broccoli. Yum yum. Night time snack was 2 whippets. 

[ihaveacupcake]

Morning

 

Got up at 6 and paced till nearly 10k steps. Hubs and kids got up so I stopped pacing, had a shower, did some chores while the hubs made the kids brekky.

 

I had a slim fast shake (wanted it) and couple of small peices of chocolate chip banana bread. 

 

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So I'm putting the slim fast away. I won't be using it anymore. Thank goodness. 

 

Hubs and I had a good talk and we agreed I need to learn to eat properly and fuel my body the right way. So I will.

 

I just get so influenced by things around me. Like, watching my girly shows, there are tons of skinny girls on my shows so I get influenced to be skinny. I don't want to be skinny like them and have to starve myself. I want to be fit.

 

So workout happened! 2 sets of a full body workout, that lasted 17 mins. I used 5lbs. I like using 5lbs so I'll stick with it. I feel good now. I feel accomplished. Then I had 2 more small peice of mini banana bread after my workout.

 

Lunch was left over beef stir fry! Way better than my slim fast shake. But here's my problem, once I taste food, it's hard to stop eating. I need to work at not mindlessly snacking.

 

Tried to take a nap but didn't happen. Which is ok, so I hung out with my kids for a bit then watched tv.

[ihaveacupcake]

Afternoon

 

I was craving more food after lunch so I had 2 whippet cookies. Total will be 1800 for the day.

 

At 1 I had a coffee, love me my coffee! Then I paced my last 5k steps.

 

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Went grocery shopping quick and found out my hubs has to go out of town again for work tomorrow till Monday. I'll miss him but I can hold down the fort until his return.

 

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I deleted my Instagram account. I never posted on there but followed a bunch of fitness people and am just sick of seeing half naked people, borderline born. I'm getting rid of all these other influences that are bad for my mental health. 

 

Since getting more serious about my faith in God, I just find a lot of what's happening in the real world to be poisonous to my faith.  

 

Even watching "the real housewives of Beverly Hills" there is so much on the LGBTQ that I am against. Lots of drama that I'm not sure I want to keep watching it. The world is really fucked up with its beliefs and I definitely see the devil playing with people.

 

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Got groceries, made supper, chicken, potatoes and carrots. Cleaned up, got kiddos in bed and enjoyed a hot chocolate. 

[ihaveacupcake]

Morning

 

Woke up at 6 to see my hubs off to work. He has to go out of town till tomorrow night. Then I paced till my kids woke up.

 

Brekky was 2 eggs and a banana. I decided (again) that I won't count calories, I'm going to work at eating healthy, concentrating on protein on portion control. I never stick to what I plan anyway.

 

Then I watched church online. Good sermon.

 

I was so tired this morning, then I checked my sleep score and I only got 6hrs of sleep, no wonder I was tired, I need at least 7, perferly 8-9. So I had an hr nap.

[ihaveacupcake]

Brekky- 2 loaded coffees, 2 eggs, banana

Lunch- Deli meat sandwich, dried fruit, chocolate milk

Snack- Loaded coffee, 2 low cal yogurts, 1 whippet

Supper- Soup and sandwiches

Snack- Hot chocolate 

 

Afternoon

 

Made a deli meat sandwich and chocolate milk for lunch. So good! I'm so happy I'm not having slim fast anymore. 

 

Then my kid went on the treadmill for 12 mins. I love that he's showing an interest in fitness. He asks me if certain food is healthy. Tomorrow they are off school so I'll be working out in front of them. 

 

Then I paced for a while to reach 15k steps.

 

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I think I'm done pacing during the day. It's just so boring now. I'll still pace in the mornings, then dog walk and my treadmill, but that'll be it. To keep me occupied in my down time, I have a Christian book and a devotional book I'll read. I'm going to start reading the Bible again too. 

 

I'm also getting back into true crime, I love watching them again.

 

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Made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for supper. It was good.

 

Made the kids a fruit bowl for a snack then put them to bed. I watched my show and enjoyed a hot chocolate.  

 

Hubs might not be home tomorrow, I miss him so much.

[ihaveacupcake]

Well I had a busy morning. I got the kids off to school, dog walk, chores, walked on the treadmill for 30 mins incline of 6, then baked some banana bread and blueberry muffins for the family. Then I watched "vanderpump rules" all afternoon. 

 

Then came an episode of gay pride parade and I was appalled at how sexual it is, I found it absolutely disgusting, children watch that! So I decided not to watch it anymore, as a Christian I shouldn't be watching stuff like that.

 

Instead I'm going to take time for other hobbies. I love coloring and word searches. I was also told about diamond dotting that I'm going to try. I'm reading 3 different Christian books, including the Bible as well as Christian Journaling.

 

I just want to clean up my life more and be a better Christian. I probably won't be watching much TV anymore, which is fine. I'm going to clean more too.

 

In conjunction with cleaning up my life, I have a goal to be off all my medication one day. I am taking a half dose of my antidepressant and 5mg less of olanzopene.  

 

I'm building my faith and believe I am healed and don't need medication anymore. I have changed my thinking habits and am happier for it. I was still depressed and filled with anxiety a few months ago so my meds didn't work 100%. Since building my faith and through prayer, God has gotten rid of those things. 

 

So now onto diet and exercise. I have changed what I am doing the last 2 days. I have stopped pacing altogether, walk 30 mins instead of 20 on my treadmill and I'm eating 1000-1200 cals. I'm not even hungry since I'm not working out much. I stopped doing weights cuz it's so boring. I stopped doing interval training as well for a personal reason that made it uncomfortable.

 

I'm now concentrating on losing weight quickly so become a sexy trophie wife.

 

I'm going to start weighing everyday as well.