New member, age old problems

[bambinoflex]

Hey everybody, new member here. First off, I must say, I'm very glad that a like-minded community like this even exists. I've considered reaching out to some typical body-builder forums given their fitness knowledge, but of course, they're all super hard-core. I'm not looking for that, I'm just looking to get fit.

Without getting overly detailed, here's my back story. Also....please excuse me if I sound like a bleeding heart. I'm coming off of a fresh breakup. Not a bad one, but a reflective one. She was/is my friend of many years before dating, and has helped me with relationship problems in the past. About four years ago I had gotten out of a long term relationship which hit me hard. I began losing weight due to depression and lack of eating. Within that time, I was rebounded by somebody who basically took me for a ride and told me everything I wanted to hear, which of course ended. The latter hit me even harder, and I fell into a pretty deep depression for about four months. From the two relationships, I had lost somewhere between 20-30 pounds, putting me somewhere under 160lbs (I'm 5'10"). Of course, my friend was there for me the entire time, and bless her heart for that.

Fast forward to summer of the next year, my depression had run its course and I was happy again. I was thin, something that I always wanted. That said, I've never had too much muscle mass. My sister forced a gym membership onto me. It took me a couple of months to work up the strength to actually go, but once I did, I was going 5-6 days a week. I saw some results, but never anything impressive. Within that time, my friend and I started hanging out more, and we eventually realized we liked each other. We began dating, and I was still going to the gym. Life was great!!!! I kept it up until the following summer, but stopped going and ultimately cancelled my membership when I moved away from the gym location.

Fast forward to now. Both of us have moved back home and have been apart for about two months. We were both working a lot, and it became harder to see each other. So...ultimately, that relationship just ended. It took a few days to overcome the initial shock, but now I'm in sort of a confused/reflective limbo. After a year of being away from the gym, not eating much, and developing a habit of drinking 2-3 beers at night, I'm left with a super thin body (154lbs), a bit of a beer gut, and no girlfriend. Funny how life can take those turns.

In a rebounded desire for self-improvement, I rejoined the gym. I first went the other night, only to discover how much of that muscle I'd actually lost in that year off. I can still run quite well, but it's going to take time to get back to where I was. I went again yesterday, twice actually, and I'm completely sore today. Everything hurts except my face and feet, but it's a good pain. My goals for the gym now are to simply build muscle and tone up. I don't want to go overboard, but I'm certainly below average size for my height/weight and build. I've got the determination, but my real hurdle is poor diet. I don't eat bad foods, I just don't eat enough. It's been hard, not going to lie, and I keep saying this is reflective. It is. With all that I've been through, I'm just sick of being thin and out of shape. So, with all of that said, and thank you very much if you've even gotten this far, I'm looking for advice on exercises, strength training, diet, and regimen. In addition, she's always told me I have a flat posterior, so that's definitely a goal as well. I'm sore today, but I just want to fight the pain and keep going. I understand to be careful so I don't tear a muscle, but I actually don't work out TOO hard. For example, yesterday I spent about a half hour on the treadmill, then came back at night, spending another 20 minutes on the treadmill and about 45 minutes of strength training. Not too much resistance, but enough to be able to do the exercises. I guess that's it. By the way, I think I may have kicked the beer habit. Haven't had one since Saturday! Thank you very much for your time and advice!!

[Hammlin]

Welcome to the Rebellion- sometimes clarity is the best medicine, and judging by the amount of self reflection you have it sounds like you're getting it. I hope you find the YOU in you that defines you

[D_chelyst]

Welcome to the best place to get fit, bambinoflex! I also have a hard time with the eating enough thing...it's really harder than it sounds! Similar to you, I'm trying to build muscle after years of being thin (5'5", 118 lbs.). I've been doing the beginning body weight workout + Paleo, and I've seen some definite improvement in just 3-4 weeks. Steve has a formula, something like 16 to 18x your current weight is the number of calories you'll need to eat per day to build muscle. I'll refer you to the article. I find that eating more healthy snacks more often/when I start to feel a little hungry and eating just slightly larger portions than I normally would is helping. But I get the depression thing and not wanting to eat...been there, done that, got the T-shirt, then threw it away. Good luck with your fitness/food goals!

Oh, and sleep. Sleep helps rebuild muscles along with food. Which is what I should be doing right now but clearly am not....