Need some encouragement

[Skytoad]

Earlier today my girlfriend and I broke up. We were getting close to our 5 year anniversary. I know it's early, but I'm devastated. Every memory I have is with her. There isn't one thing in my whole apartment that doesn't make me think of her or remind me of a story of the two of us. Feeling a little down so a bit of encouragement would be appreciated.. I know I need to take this time to better myself but all I can think about is her..

Thanks and sorry I didn't know where else to turn..

[silverpeacock]

That really sucks. No other way to put it.

As for what to do, everyone heals in their own time. go for a walk in the woods, or something, if you feel ready to go out, better yet, go out with a few friends. Don't just stay in and dwell.

[JPAN]

I know exactly what you are going through. Little over two years ago my girlfriend broke up with me on Valentines day (what a bitch right, couldn't have done it before I bought her a gift?) about a month before our 5 year anniversary. The first couple of weeks/months were very hard, but it will get better. My advise would be to cut all ties completely. None of this "well lets still be friends" BS, it will just be a constant reminder of the break up. Do things you enjoy, hang out with friends. That breakup was actually a big turning point in my life and was the kick in the butt I needed to start working out and get healthy.

[maggerson]

Is there something that you love, a hobby you have, or something you can do that you can throw yourself into? I mean, if it's a job or a workout or making some form of art, I say go nuts. That's how I've always dealt with my breakups.

Also, I know it sucks now, but even though you broke up with someone in a long term relationship, know this much: it can only get better from here. Let yourself feel down, eat some ice cream and watch some movies or something, and then take a deep breath and get back into your regular life routine, just minus that one person. It'll all be okay eventually.

[smazzon1]

Keep yourself busy. And as someone else said, cut all ties. It's really painful at first (and since you were with her for so long, it'll be a while) but it definitely gets better.

You'll be alright

[Rurounii]

I agree with everything everyone said. You can sulk, but only for a little bit, then you have to move on. You have to keep busy and distracted. It's the end of Summer, so do the things that you won't be able to once Fall comes. See your friends, reconnect with old ones, and try something new.

[katpower]

If you were a girl, I'd say eat lots of icecream and cry for a week, then get a new haircut and fabulize yourself.

[realbrickwall]

If you were a girl, I'd say eat lots of icecream and cry for a week, then get a new haircut and fabulize yourself.

I think this advice applies to men completely. Although find a better comfort food than ice cream. Nothing makes you feel better like being healthy does.

[Flex Luthor]

Nothing makes me feel as good as killing a workout, but then again I'm odd like that

[Sambalina]

I feel your pain. My boyfriend and I broke up after 6 years just two months ago.

Thinks that have helped me:

- Getting out of the house both alone and with others. Walks, work outs, movies, food. It really helps.

- Cut all ties. I decided that although I feel my ex and I can eventually be friends, I would not talk to him until I felt I'd be comfortable if he got a new partner.

- I started playing The Secret World, and got a tv show or two that I love to watch. Also, a good series of books. Just depends what you're into, to help keep your mind off things.

You just have to give it time. It will get better. You just have to grit your teeth and make it through the sucky period.

Hang in there, Skytoad!

[Relic]

Thanks for sharing with us, it's what we're here for.

+1 to immersing yourself in something you like or finding something new to focus on for awhile. (it's not avoiding your feelings, it's happy practice)

From my experience, the more I re-tell my story (even to people I don't really know) the more it changes from a hurtful emotional memory, to a matter-of-fact logical memory.

My turning point was the first time I really shared my experience openly. I was forced to write about it because I couldn't think of a topic and the paper was due the next day.

(BTW, I was dumped at my senior prom)

best of luck on the healing process!

[KillerGriller]

As hard as it will be, try seeing this as a fresh opportunity to start anew. Clean slate. You can do anything, be anything, go anywhere. Now is YOUR time. This is what go me through my last big breakup (after a far-too-long grieving period) and made me much better in the long run. Try new things, improve yourself, be selfish!

[Guest ApptivGames]

Start a new workout program, something hard that you have to work to achieve. Do P90X or Insanity or something. Not only do the endorphins make life oh so much sweeter, the sense of accomplishment and self-confidence it gives is awesome.

Any time life starts getting me down and depressed- exercising is my happy place that I can go to to lift my spirits every time.

Remember- You're only one workout away from a good mood!

[caponerd48]

Wow, great advice all around. First of all, thanks for trusting us all to have a say in your time of need, it takes a lot of guts to as for help. I'd say allow yourself time to feel the hurt, then go kick some ass. My last breakup I bought myself a Devil May Cry video game (She hated video games) and beat it over the course of a weekend. That really helped me get out of my funk (Possibly by channeling my funk in a way). What does she hate that you love? What did you deprive yourself of while you were together in the name of compromise? Treat yo self! (And speaking as a man, there are few things like a good trip to an old fashioned barbershop for a little bit of manly pampering.)

[Skytoad]

I couldn't have asked for better advice. You guys are great, really you guys are amazing. I took everything you guys said to heart and it is already starting to help (a little bitttt). It is going to take some time but I am in a time in my life where I will be meeting new people and experiencing new things so that helps.. But I can't thank you guys enough for the support. I don't have a whole lot of friends at the moment so you guys are the best. Thank you =)

[ponita]

It's okay to hurt, and time really does make the pain lessen. But take this time to spoil yourself in good-for-you ways (haircuts - yes, new video game - yes, brutal workout - HELL YES, weekend-long-binge-on-ice-cream-and-cheetos-> NO!!). You now have the chance to rebuild yourself and be a superhero. We're all here for you.

Game on, Skytoad.