Confessions of a wagon-faller-offer

[Caitriona]

You know how sometimes you get super excited about something, and when it comes around you suddenly lose all your motivation and end up sucking at it? Because guys: this challenge so far? Not going so well for me.

See, when the current challenge started, I set all these goals for myself, and because I’m pretty new to working out I didn’t have clear results in mind, so all my goals were about maintaining a routine – going to the gym, walking, running, keeping the house clean with help of a daily checklist, that kind of stuff. What I didn’t take into account was that I’d be pretty busy with traveling out of state, and having overnight guests. Before the challenge, I would have just adapted my routine, doing some sit-ups and push-ups at home, getting a few reps in with the weights I have, and being pretty happy about the amount I walked around the city with my visiting friend. But because I had set specific goals for gym/runs/etc., I just ended up feeling bad and not really doing anything. WHICH IS STUPID AND I REALIZE IT AND I’M READY TO GET THE FREAK PAST IT. Um. Yeah. I just yelled that. Sorry.

The worst/stupidest part? I didn’t even want to log on to NF anymore, because I felt like I was somehow failing not just myself, but also the community. I felt like people would be judgey – I mean, I’m a total noob who’s super excited for 2 weeks and then disappears without a trace. Ugh. So this is my effort to get back in the saddle before it’s too late. I’m definitely still motivated. I just think I went about the challenge in the wrong way. Maybe I’m just not ready for a challenge. Maybe I need better goals. Point is: I love walking and running, I love working out. If I can’t make it a few days in a row, the fitness police isn’t gonna put me in jail for it. And more than anything, I know that I need to be accountable to myself, not just an online forum (as super awesome as said forum may be).

So for now, I’m just gonna keep doing what I do. Which is pretty much in line with my challenge goals anyway, only with some flexibility built in. What I really need to work on is how to set good result goals. I have no idea what a realistic goal is for speed, or distance, or weight lifted, or inches/body fat lost. I know a big part of it is to just set a result goal and see what happens. Dream big, that kind of thing.

And while I’m working on that, I’m super happy to have a place I can go and rant or brag or whine or ask questions. You guys rock. Thanks for reading. =)

[BeckyBuckeye]

You know what? We've all done that at one point or another. Two challenges ago, I did the same thing: started and then halfway through I had to move across states. Life got crazy and my challenge goals weren't working anymore. And I felt the same guilt about not logging on because I didn't want to let people down. But I still got started, meaning that once my life settled down at least a little, it was easier to get back to it.

So great job starting and thanks for coming back. Just that little bit of momentum is enormously helpful going forward. Keeping with your current plan sounds like a great idea. I wish I could help with measurement goals, but that is far from my area of expertise, so for now, all I can say is keep rocking. Because you rock too. Feel free to either drop the challenge if it feels too much for you or re-invent your goals.

[blindasutsutsu]

First while I may not speak for the whole community here I can safely say that no one I have met on here would be judgey of you at all!! I think routine goals are important because they help get you into the healthy lifestyle that you have chosen for yourself, but I also know how life can get in the way. The important thing is to not get down on yourself for missing here or there or not being 100% on schedule. No one is 100% perfect at anything ever period. Maybe for short times perfection is possible but there is always that extra something you can do.

My advice to you when setting up a schedule is set up weekly/monthly goals not daily ones. That way if something happens on your Wednesday lift/run/walk/whatever day and you have to miss no biggie pick it up tomorrow and continue with the week.

The second thing I'll say is that so you set a goal and missed it by a little...SO WHAT!?! Say you wanted to improve your mile time by 1 minute in the challenge but only bettered it by 30 seconds. Rather than looking at it from the standpoint that you fell 30 seconds short of your goal look and say i bettered my time by 30 seconds. I know when i started lifting I never for a second thought I could do 100 push ups in a week. But i worked at it set goals and while i didn't hit all those goals i got better and better and now I can do 100 in one sitting and for me i think it is because rather than saying man i only increased my weekly pushups by 50 this 6 weeks i said never in my life did i think i could do that many push ups in a week.

Keep at it and stay positive and the results will come. We are not here to judge but to help. (Which i hope i did....) Just don't give up!!!

[Elastigirl]

I think it comes down to our being our own worst critics. I'm trying to work on that too, because I can be my own worst enemy. Thr great thing about NF is that they are your best cheer team. If you can plug in even when you are discouraged, someone will encourage and give you the kind words you need. Then you need to believe those kind words and say them to yourself.

Part of the challenge is learning how to set goals for yourself. As you do the challenges, you start to see what works for you and what doesn't and you improve. This time arund I set a goal that I may not acheive. I was being super critical of myself and telling myself what a failure I was. People encouraged me and gave me tips on improving. And then I realized that even if I didn't make the goal, I had still improved. And I decided to stop being so hard on myself.

[bigm141414]

Heh, this so reminds me of Me years ago. I started a 28-day challenge, felt bad about not keeping up with my goals, and then disappeared from the boards for like 8 months.

Don't be like me. Be better than me. It's always frustrating when you fail. Don't let it get you down because you know what, you did something. Something more than you did yesterday. Something more than you thought you could do yesterday. Keep going. Keep trying. Keep getting better. You can do it. I believe in you.

[dracopervicax]

NO ITS OKAY GURL WE GOT YOU!

(Yes, I just yelled that. Cause we got you.)

[Rivanariko]

This is my 4th challenge. I am just now starting to figure out how to set goals that I can and will actually follow through with and be able to achieve, while still offering myself a significant challenge. You didn't get it perfect your first time? Awesome! Now you know at least one way that doesn't work for you. Do what you can for this challenge, but stay active towards your long term goals. Learn from this experience, and be ready for the next challenge with goals that you are going to DESTROY. Or learn another way that doesn't work. Eventually you'll narrow it down to what does work, right?

It took me four challenges to get here, and I can proudly say, for the first time since I joined NF, that I am killing this challenge. But I don't regret the journey where I learned all of the things that don't work for me. It's all part of the process.

Glad you made it back.

[kimblitz]

Same here! I judge myself the hardest to, so I guess one doens´t fail as bad in an objective perspective as one always thinks one does. And I had the EXACT same problem in my first challenge. But I think mine was a lot worse than yours.

After 7 days of doing really good I just all of a sudden had a compulsive eating issue or 3 days! I felt like giving up completley. I was so obset with myself! I thought I´d never break the habit and get back on track to "inner satisfaction."

And well, you know how my 1st challenge went for me. It just went fine. And this time (2nd challenge) I also thought I´d nail it. But now I´m again having a bit of a "hang through". But at least this time it happend to me in third week.

Next time it might only happen in the forth week, and so on... That´s how I try to look at it. Falling of a wagon just happens-I really love this post: http://anthonymychal.com/2012/05/build-a-body-that-matters/

I think key to success is fighting failure. Success doens´t mean "not failing". I think it´s really about the classical "falling down and standing up." That´s how we learn to work on ourselves...

Go a head and forgive yourself. Than you can start again

[Moxie Hart]

^^^ All of the above. None of us are perfect. I've done some challenges where I finished, some I flunked out of the first week. Gotta roll with the punches and live your life the best you can.

[Caitriona]

Guys, thank you so much for being awesome. I'm feeling a ton better about all of this. I'm glad that this is not just a fitness website but a real community, because otherwise I probably wouldn't have logged back on. But I'm gonna stop being all sappy now - I gots workouts to do, right? =) I think I'm gonna take the rest of the week to think about restructuring the second half of my challenge, just so I keep doing something. Honestly, before the challenge I was doing great, and I thought the challenge would be even more awesome. But instead, it started feeling like a chore. Honestly, I happy with a "be active every single day" kind of goal, because I can do it and it makes me happy, and I get to choose every day what I feel like. But is that too easy? Shouldn't I be challenging myself?

Anyway, I'm figuring it out. Glad to hear other people went through a learning process during their first challenge.

And thank you, one more time. Still totally blown away by what an awesome support team you guys are. Wait, I said no more sappy! Instead: push-ups. WHO'S WITH ME???

[BeckyBuckeye]

ME!! Except I can't do real ones yet, so I'll be over here with my knee pushups

[Daverin2112]

IMA JUDGE YA EVEN THOUGH IM EVEN WORZ ABUT EET!!! /huge dose of sarcasm

Seriously, though, I think the reason this community is so good is based heavily on the fact we all are in this together in some fashion or another, and you certainly aren't the only one who drops off or has doubts or somesuch. Heck, my worst problem? I constantly am unsure if the kind of fitness I am focusing on is the one I want. To I want to lift weights, or use bodyweight? Don't I really want conditioning and not strength? And my toughest one, do I want to try to lose my obesity and thus run impediment on maximal strength gains, or shall I ignore this obvious health problem in hopes that the strength will balance it out? Suffice it to say, it can make it hard to get up and workout...

The reason I point this out is for the only "criticism" or advice I can give, which I have seen float around here, and seems to be pretty good: More than any maximal benefit, any routine, any yadayada, the only thing that matters is just getting up and doing something. Which is what you are doing now. And don't beat yourself up when you can't do it, don't even "try to make up for it." Just do it next time. After all, fitness is not made or lost in a day, a week, or even really a month or two; rather, it is not just a state, but a process, one the does not really have an end besides what you put down as one. To relate to a marathon, its not like even the best don't take breaks or slowdown, or even lapse! So yeah, no worries. Your sweat should be from the workout, not the thinking about it.

And other than that, don't be afraid of the community. I've dived right in with what I am sure are signature newbie questions already, and nobody has bitten! Which is pretty much the reason I figured "this community is friendly enough I'd actually join it and not just treat it as a nother website to get fitness info."

And there is my advice, even though I'm still new at this game. I think it still fits, though.

[Barmacral]

I do something similar to you on an annual basis Cait. Every year in the spring I decide to get in shape and get physically active until sometime in the fall when I completely slack off and start eating unhealthy and stop working out. I've done this for about 3 years now, this year my goal is to continue my workouts and healthy eating habits through the winter and into next spring, and instead of having to decide to work out next spring, to be able to look at myself and be proud of where I'm at.

[jennageah]

Confession of another wagon faller offerer: I committed myself to running my first 12km race on the 16th Sept, and spent a whole night a couple of months ago meticulously planning my training runs and etc and how I was going to get fit enough and blah blah. The best laid plans, though....oh dear. Haha I'm still going to run my race even though I haven't trained consistently enough to make any sort of decent time, and I will probably struggle to the max...but that might give me the wake up call to make a more flexible plan next time and not be so hard on myself when things don't happen the way you thought they would. I definitely understand the feeling of thinking you'll be judged though; I told every man and his dog that I was training for this race and when I didn't 'live up' to my plans I just wanted to go hide in a hole or something. Now I just figure I'll do what I can to make it a 'fun' run, like it's supposed to be, and not be so damned hard on myself Hope that helps, you are definitely not alone!!

[Wren]

I am with you 100%. I didn't think about the fact that I was going out of town for two weeks in a row and so I have had to rework some things. My biggest issue was meeting my eating goals. The first week I was gone I did terrible, but all you can do is look at where you went wrong and figure out how to do better next time. Maybe you won't be able to meet all of your goals this time due to how they are written and what your circumstances are, but you can do your best and learn from this. Then, at the next challenge, you can set better goals that you will be able to accomplish. Failure is only a bad thing when you refuse to learn from it.

[Shoshie]

I've found that, as I try to make changes in my life, I'll stick with something for a couple weeks, then fall off. The a couple months later, I'll try again for a month, then fall off. Then two months. Then six. And slowly, it becomes more of a habit and part of my life than something that's just going to sit on the backburner for months at a time. But it's a long, slow process, and you can't beat yourself up for it.

As far as challenges go, I like having at least one that won't be a slam dunk to complete, but isn't something I'll have to work particularly hard at. Like, if if I think it's reasonable to have a 100 lb squat by the end of the month (newbie gains, what what), then I might give myself a goal of 90 lbs. Because that's probably going to happen if I just stick with it, even if something happens in the middle of the month, but it's a clearer goal than "just get your ass to the gym!".

[Skittle]

WHICH IS STUPID AND I REALIZE IT AND I’M READY TO GET THE FREAK PAST IT. Um. Yeah. I just yelled that. Sorry.

The worst/stupidest part? I didn’t even want to log on to NF anymore, because I felt like I was somehow failing not just myself, but also the community. I felt like people would be judgey – I mean, I’m a total noob who’s super excited for 2 weeks and then disappears without a trace. Ugh. So this is my effort to get back in the saddle before it’s too late.

...ARE YOU ME???

[BeigeTurtle]

Caitriona, I actually think what you've described is as important in setting a *long-term* routine as anything. Things will always happen in the short-term - work, or family, or some kind of emergency. You can't really control the short-term, but you have a much larger say in the long-term. Missing a couple days or a couple weeks is a short-term disruption, but it doesn't have to be a long-term one. Heck, even Olympic athletes get injuries and have to take unexpected breaks from training. But then they get back to training and get back on the road to their goals. Believe me, I understand; I have fallen off so many wagons I'm amazed I haven't broken any bones. But one of my long-term life goals is to be nicer to myself, and this is something I've had to sit down and say to myself to try to feel better.

[kimblitz]

Thank you BeigeTurtle you made me believe that I can make my way to a figure I feel comfortable with!

(I´ve been of the wagon for two weeks now and that although the challenge only takes 6!)

[BeigeTurtle]

You can totally do it! Resilience, persistence, and sheer pig-headed stubbornness count for a lot in life!

[21katykat01]

...ARE YOU ME???

You must be me too!

[Caitriona]

Aww guys, you seriously all make me so happy. It's so good to know I'm not struggling alone. =) And this whole issue seems so silly. I wasn't even doing that terrible... I just get disappointed when I set myself goals and then don't follow through on them. I have since switched my goal to just being active in SOME way every single day, and it's been going great! And BeigeTurtle is absolutely right... even though I wasn't doing great in the short term, it's the long term that really matters, and I"m doing perfectly fine with that. It's just something I need to keep reminding myself of.

From now on, when I get to a bad, unmotivated place, logging on to NF to get my motivation back is gonna be the first thing I do. =)