LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[Wolverine]

quick update on the issues i posted on earlier!

managed to organise a good ol' friendly hang out earlier this week with most of the old guard! went well, had a decent turnout, plus we met up down at the local gay bar so had plenty of friendly faces stopping by as well. definitely a step in the right direction to ending some of that social isolation. my partner and a few others all caught up again yesterday for coffee and we've been invited to a party on the weekend. so win freaking win thanks y'all!

Nice! Good to hear and good for you for taking that first step!

[aj_rock]

Damn, these threads of pure awesome-sauce seem to sneak up on me.

Subbed.

[maggerson]

managed to organise a good ol' friendly hang out earlier this week with most of the old guard! went well, had a decent turnout, plus we met up down at the local gay bar so had plenty of friendly faces stopping by as well. definitely a step in the right direction to ending some of that social isolation. my partner and a few others all caught up again yesterday for coffee and we've been invited to a party on the weekend. so win freaking win thanks y'all!

You know, your partner's friends might not have been sure how to approach the old friends, too, so I'm really super glad this has worked out!

A can also be Allied. I've seen GLBTQQIAAPT as an actual acronym, folks. (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, queer, questioning, intersex, allied, asexual, pansexual, two-spirit) It gets a little crazy

Good call on the A... Anyone want to try acronymizing that one?

[Avistew]

Personaly I'm a fan of the acronyms that show each letter only once, but the letter represents more than one thing. It seems to me that it's a good way to say people can be different and equally acceptable. So GBLTQAIP for instance could be Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian, transgender, Transexual and Two-spirit, Queer and Questioning, Asexual, Agender and Ally, Intersex, Pansexual and Poly.

I have found it easier to just say GSM, though (Gender and Sexual Minorities). Hell, you can even say GSM+A to make sure allies are welcome, but it seems to me 3 letters that are pretty inclusive is better than having to add letters for everyone.

[azsf]

so i've watched queer as folk (US version), my partner has me onto the L word (currently on season 3), and we just started on lip service (essentially the scottish L word). anyone else seen all 3? which is your favourite? personally im digging lip service more than the L word, but queer as folk wins out with nostalgia. used to stay up late and watch it on SBS when i was 14/15, and it was mind blowing. i think that was probably my first experience with gay culture being made 'sexy'. good times

[nightlight]

i loved lip service. there is a big twist that was super unexpected. enjoy!

[maggerson]

I really loved Lip Service, partially for the accents, and partially because DS Sam Murray (I will either grow up to be or date Heather Peace, I just know it). I want to pretend that some parts of the L Word never happened, like Jenny Schecter, and god help me but I do really love Brian Kinney SO MUCH.

[Guest Snake McClain]

i absolutely love this thread. I dare say that if any bashing was being done on this forum and it was allowed I would quickly leave it. Glad we can all have a safe place (straight, gay, asexual or otherwise) to talk about what we want. Rock on.

[CyningaDena]

I'm bringing this back to talk about a health question re: the anal sexy. Just fair warning for any readers who think that's all one giant no-zone.

I prefer to play catcher. My bf is an all-star pitcher. This means my prostate gets punched in the face like a cage fighter. I'm not certain he's designed for that sort of abuse over the long haul. I imagine my prostate in 20 years with a crooked nose and a cauliflower ear. A couple times a year, my prostate will "flare up" -- not an infection, but it gets all swollen and hurty. For about a week I cannot sit down or stop peeing. Does anyone else get this? In the absence of infection or cancer I just assume it's related to all of the sexy-time beatings; is there something different I should have checked? The first time it happened I went to a doctor who poked it some, declared that I have a "boggy" prostate, and sent me home with my hat in my hand. Wtf? Are there marsh reeds in there? Rare birds?

Anyone else experience anything similar? What do you do to address it?

[azsf]

Glad to hear you've been to the doctor first! Those guys are alright i can't say that my prostate has ever flared up, but i've had micro tears and what feels like internal bruising. generally this follows poorly planned rough sex (hello drunken hookups) or bad angles. is there a common position that you find causes the inflammation?

[katscratch]

hi all

CyningaDena, I'm with azsf in wondering if there's a pattern in certain positions-- a friend of mine finds doggy style to bash his prostate pretty good--he finds that to be the best angle for awesome stimulation however, so he's had enough repeats to figure out there's a pattern to his needing to urinate constantly after sex every now and then.

[knopfler]

This is the best I found.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/bogginess

I gather your doc basically said your hoohoo was retaining water.

[Atalan]

As far as I know, bruising causes there to be extra fluid in tissue. Your prostate might have been all bruised. I will echo the questions about position and if that relates to the ouchy-hurty.

Since I neglected to identify earlier. I am a straight male in a male body. However, on occasion I like to crossdress. Sexually, pegging is a thing for me.

[CyningaDena]

I've not noticed that the flare-ups are directly connected to one specific romp -- I've had them during stretches of we-are-not-shagging, and they're different from the next-day tenderness. I assumed it was the result of continual bruising, the way a boxer eventually slurs when he talks and what can ya do? But it seems that my experience may not be typical here.

[LRB]

Deleting my last post - hadn't realized how far behind the times I was . . . I've been away for a while and responded to one of the early posts in this thread. That topic has now been thoroughly covered, so I'm not going to resurrect it, but did want to pop in and say 'hi,' and identify as an ally -- my best friends (I call them 'framily,' somewhere between friends and family, and one of them is my 'soul friend,' like soulmate, but not) are two married women with two kids about the same age as mine.

I'm glad this thread is here, and glad these issues are being discussed.

[kasers]

so i've watched queer as folk (US version), my partner has me onto the L word (currently on season 3), and we just started on lip service (essentially the scottish L word). anyone else seen all 3? which is your favourite? personally im digging lip service more than the L word, but queer as folk wins out with nostalgia. used to stay up late and watch it on SBS when i was 14/15, and it was mind blowing. i think that was probably my first experience with gay culture being made 'sexy'. good times

I've watched all of the L word and all of Lip Service., Started watching the UK version of queer as folk a few days ago, mainly just because it is set where I live. I like Lip Service the best, I personally think it has a better story line that the L word. Just annoys me how short the seasons are! Plus I can't stand Jenny in the L word. Anyone watch the real L word?

[animalcrackaz]

I'm glad this thread is here! I am a happily partnered homosexual male(nearing the 7 year mark!), and it's refreshing to have a place to feel open about being myself. It's something I'm always guarded about, because I'm never sure who may respond negatively. Although I live near a fairly liberal community, it's an unfortunate reality that some people judge you almost exclusively based on your sexuality, which can be frustrating because I've always viewed being gay as a secondary characteristic in what makes up my personality.

It seems like a lot of interesting ground has been covered in this thread already, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Be well, everyone!

[Atalan]

I've not noticed that the flare-ups are directly connected to one specific romp -- I've had them during stretches of we-are-not-shagging, and they're different from the next-day tenderness. I assumed it was the result of continual bruising, the way a boxer eventually slurs when he talks and what can ya do? But it seems that my experience may not be typical here.

Well, you never know, it could be something unrelated and just coincidental. Did your doctor have any recommendations for what to do?

[maggerson]

It's something I'm always guarded about, because I'm never sure who may respond negatively. Although I live near a fairly liberal community, it's an unfortunate reality that some people judge you almost exclusively based on your sexuality, which can be frustrating because I've always viewed being gay as a secondary characteristic in what makes up my personality.

Maybe this is just me, but I find this feeling exacerbated when I'm at the gym. I mean, I'm pretty out, I live in a liberal place, and I have a female workout partner who is just as bawdy and hilarious as me. But at the same time, the women I don't know... I worry that they think I'm coming on to them or checking them out. Am I crazy? Am I too concerned about others' comfort?

Does this happen to anyone else?

[AngelaTheGeek]

Well, hello there everyone... I have some catching up to do here!

I am not a fan of labels, but since society insists that I wear some, here are mine:

Woman

Geek, Nerd, or Dork (take your pick)

Weightlifter

Artist (kind of)

Cat lady (I'm pretty sure 4 qualifies me for this)

Lesbian

Partner (only because I can't get married, otherwise this would be wife)

AWESOME

I am so very happy to see this thread. I have never... I repeat NEVER, felt uncomfortable being open about my partner or my lifestyle on the boards, but it's really great to have a safe place for anyone who has.

Oh, and my sister threatens to take away my lesbian card all the time because I have no idea what the hell is on the "agenda" that haters swear we have... Anyone else know what the hell is on it???

[weirdquark]

Oh, and my sister threatens to take away my lesbian card all the time because I have no idea what the hell is on the "agenda" that haters swear we have... Anyone else know what the hell is on it???

Be fabulous?

[zaika]

Oooh...I like this thread. Erm...can polyamorous folks play here too? I've censored myself already in this forum, carefully wording a post or two to cover my sexuality and partners to avoid...well, any misunderstandings or discomfort.

Hoping to squeeze in here as a fully practicing bisexual if nothing else.

[AngelaTheGeek]

Be fabulous?

THAT I am!

[azsf]

polys are welcome!

I worry that they think I'm coming on to them or checking them out. Am I crazy? Am I too concerned about others' comfort?

This is what being a guy is like, at any time. There's an age old axiom for dealing with this situation: if you're hot, it's not creepy my advice is to just focus on your workout while you're there, and who cares what other people think. strangely enough, most guys ive talked to in the gym enjoy being watched (or 'mired') by other men. you just have to take the 'no homo' jokes in your stride.

I have no idea what the hell is on the "agenda" that haters swear we have... Anyone else know what the hell is on it?

I'm pretty sure we're out to corrupt everyone to our hedonistic, moral-vacuum, sex-crazed lifestyle. which is apparently more dangerous to your health than smoking! hide your wife, hide your kids etc.

[Avistew]

Oooh...I like this thread. Erm...can polyamorous folks play here too? I've censored myself already in this forum, carefully wording a post or two to cover my sexuality and partners to avoid...well, any misunderstandings or discomfort.

Hoping to squeeze in here as a fully practicing bisexual if nothing else.

I'm poly too Welcome to this thread! People here seem pretty inclusive and accepting.