Oh hai

[Fromaquasar]

Hey y'all -I'm Jess

I'm from NZ, I'm 24, I'm a massive geek.

I've been trying to "get healthy" for about 2 years.

For the first year I counted calories. I virtually ate nothing, and ran like a crazy person. I got really really thin. But I was also really hungry and unhappy. But people kept telling me "omgosh you are sooo skinny" which weirdly I got a kick from, though I now see was not a good thing, so I convinced myself this was a good way to be.

Then I went on holiday and gave myself a "little break" from my mental regime.

I.

Went.

Crazy.

I ate every thing I could find, some things that aren't actually edible. I drank all the drinks (except water). I found myself sitting on my butt more and more. And after my "break" ended I couldn't bring myself to go back to my regime. I was so unhappy then. I am unhappy now (I felt crap and was gaining weight). What was the difference.

That was 6 months ago. I have been doing alternating weeks of restrictive girl and binge girl.

So now my quest is a new one, I know I can get really skinny and act like a crazy person. And I know I can be lazy and chubby and equally as crazy. I want to find the girl who is STRONG, HEALTHY, and BADASS. Who I know is in me somewhere. Who EATS and MOVES and ENJOYS life and, if it were necessary, could fight off 3 massive dudes on the top of a train car that was on fire and hurtling towards the edge of a cliff.

Yup.

And you guys all seem choice and with your heads screwed on straight.

[tats4life]

Welcome! I definitely admire your determination, but I wouldn't say all of us have our heads screwed on tight... well, really I can just speak for myself but uh...

Yeah, welcome again! LOL