Some words for those struggling with life issues.

[JohnnyRandom]

Hey my fellow NFers. I have a lot of people around me at the moment who are dealing with personal, relationship and just over all life issues at the moment. I posted this on my FB for them this morning. Now, I do not consider myself a writer so I am sure it is fraught with errors and that some of the metaphors probably cross the boarder of being cheesy. However, if it is able to help someone and make a difference, then it has achieved it's purpose and I can be happy with that. Cheers!

We are all painters in life and those who enter and leave our lives are blank canvases. On some canvases, you will be able to paint beautiful masterpieces that

you will be able to sit back and enjoy for a lifetime, never losing sight of the beauty that you have created. They will change and evolve through time, like kaleidoscopes changing color and shape but the original beauty of the creation will ALWAYS be there. Even though it changes through time. These can be your family, friends, and those who you hold dearest.

Others will speed through your life at a comet's pace, burning out almost as quickly as they appear. But you will have time, one fleeting moment to get in a stoke on that canvas, one moment to leave an impression on that person's life forever. For these, revel in the fact that you have been able to make a difference and fulfill your role in that person's life. After all, there are no small actors, only small parts. This might be the homeless person on the corner that you give money to, or the person in the grocery store that, without thinking about it, you throw a casual smile and through no intentional means, have managed to improve that persons day through an ounce of kindness.

Then, there there is a final type. This type of canvas that might move through your life at any pace, that of a snail or a sparrow and no matter how hard you try, no matter what method or medium you use, your brush strokes will not stick to this canvas. The paint bleeds to the floor as if the canvas was covered in some invisible grease that made it's layers impermeable like armor.

You have three options with these: You can, like an insane person, frantically try over and over to repeat the same stroke, hoping each time that the paint will stick only to see the same result repeat over and over again and eventually lose sight of yourself and all of your other works because you are so focused on this one.

You can sit back and crumble in dismay watching the paint splatter to the floor with the intensity of a stain-glass window shattering into a thousand pieces and spend your energy wondering why, why won't this work - all the while missing the other canvases floating by.

And then there is the third option, which is the one that, even if for a moment you might chose the first or the second, is the one that I ultimately hope you will choose for yourself. This option is to smile and realize that this is a moment to paint something on your own canvas. That there is some lesson to be learned here, a chance to evolve yourself.

Don't look for fault in you as the painter or the canvas, don't look at it as a failure, simply a way of learning one thing that did not work for you and move on. Move on knowing that you are better, that this was a moment to reflect on yourself and paint something for you that was missing. Then smile and move on with your life knowing that even though you didn't make a difference on that canvas, you made yourself better.

[rx'drobot]

Thank you for taking the time to put your thoughts to words and post it here.

I appreciate the metaphor and easily see the correlation to how our life can be view as a canvas. I would venture to say that we all carry our own canvas, our own brush, and our own paint. With this we have the ability to improve or degrade others lives as well as our own. To expand I would say that a large number of people spend their time "painting" other people canvas', where real progress can be made when we take the time to paint our own.

Thanks again. This has given me something to think about.

[JohnnyRandom]

where real progress can be made when we take the time to paint our own.

Exactly which is what I was alluding to by taking the time to be introspective and improve ourselves in the last scenario. But you are right, this is something we should focus on in all of the above

[realbrickwall]

If I ran into a canvas like that I would get out a knife and lay into some experimental art.

Metaphorically of course.

[EmCee]

Thank you for sharing this! As you know, one of my life goals was to release a very toxic friendship and this has really helped me put it into perspective. Unfortunately, I moved through the first two options before finally realizing that there was a third. Though this person is no longer welcome in my life... there is so much I can learn from it and maybe paint a little more happily on my own canvas

[Jaksavage]

Love it! Thanks for those words.

[JohnnyRandom]

Unfortunately, I moved through the first two options before finally realizing that there was a third.

I think it's always hard for us to come to that realization, isn't it? If it was toxic, I am glad that you have moved beyond it now and are focusing on some self-healing. Maybe the space that has been freed up in your life by the removal of that person will in the future make space for a friend who truly has your best interests at heart.

Love it! Thanks for those words.

Most welcome!

[Thilde]

Really lovely thoughts, JR. I like the painting metaphor...I think you hit the nail on the head with how it feels to cycle through those 3 options until you hit the 3rd one and you realize you're going to be okay.

Thanks for posting this!

[JohnnyRandom]

Really lovely thoughts, JR. I like the painting metaphor...I think you hit the nail on the head with how it feels to cycle through those 3 options until you hit the 3rd one and you realize you're going to be okay. Thanks for posting this!

Thank you for the compliment and you're welcome!

[Spiffy]

Love this, having only recently rediscovered the existence of the third option :-)

[JohnnyRandom]

Love this, having only recently rediscovered the existence of the third option :-)

And you will be infinitely better having done so

[tats4life]

I definitely appreciate these words & metaphors! I'm actually currently at the end of a relationship & though I recently discovered the third option... my mind keeps on backtracking to the 1st & 2nd option... I have a tendency to just want to help people & help them become better versions of themselves... it's a habit that I need to realize isn't always a good thing... but yeah... I've been needing to hear something like that... sooo appreciated...

[JohnnyRandom]

I definitely appreciate these words & metaphors! I'm actually currently at the end of a relationship & though I recently discovered the third option... my mind keeps on backtracking to the 1st & 2nd option... I have a tendency to just want to help people & help them become better versions of themselves... it's a habit that I need to realize isn't always a good thing... but yeah... I've been needing to hear something like that... sooo appreciated...

It's hard, I know. It's all a process and we grow from it though, however difficult the lessons might be. I'm sorry to hear about the end of your relationship but remember the good moments of it and allow the bad ones, after you have learned from them, to fade away.