Asking a Girl Out

[AlterStephen]

Thanks for the advice everyone!

She's been sick lately, from what I understand, so I haven't seen her at work for a few days. But I hope to get together with her again soon!

[Timmy M]

ETF's not far off, this method is freakin' foolproof!

WOOF!

[cammocat@gmail.com]

Ha ha ha! Love the Blackadder clip. Gold.

I'm jumping on the middle ground - give it a little longer to get to know her, maybe a week or two, and then ask her straight out.

Also dude, I want to commend that you are doing the brave thing and asking someone out. You are awesome!

[Wirilome]

Beer after work. Casual stuff. Picnic, personally I'd run away.

[TheSavageBean]

Having had experience in this arena, I should throw my towel in.

Here is my NUMBER ONE tip for ALL TIME that should be REMEMBERED FOREVER.

1) Don't ask for advice about this on the internet.

The evidence as to why can be seen quite simply in the two posts above me. Both posters have good intention and wish to help with your problem, yet their advice is in direct conflict. The truth is they're empathising with your work mate and saying "how would I respond to you (who they automatically assume is a guy they'd say 'yes' to) asking me this way?" So what do you do? Is the girl more like Athena or more like Wirilome? Will she even say yes in the first place? You only get to ask one question, so will it be a beer or a picnic? You only get to ask once so you'd better get it right, right?

"Don't come on too strong" "Get to know her first" "Move in for the kill" "All you need is confidence" "She's already made her mind up about you" "You can sway her if you're charming enough" "Be yourself" "Be everything you can be"

These are all timeless pieces of advice on this situation and they all manage to be totally irrelevant at the same time. The truth is, we don't know anything about her, and we don't know anything about you. Maybe you're the most charming guy on the planet, maybe she's secretly a radically right NWO supporter. The thing is, everything that we don't know can drastically alter our specific advice, leaving any useful information down to hallmark card style quotes that might not mean anything to you.

I can't tell you how you should ask a girl out. I can only tell you how I do it. If you want to know that, I ask them out to different activities depending on what we might both enjoy. A movie for the movie buff, a drive for the one that likes nature, dinner for the one with traditional values, lunch for the girl who's more casual, sushi for the girl who won't shut up about going to Japan. The thing is, if we're basing on success rates then you wouldn't want to follow my advice because my dates all turn out horribly. Snoring in movies, bored at dinner, sushi plates getting hurled like shurikens, flake on the lunch.

Dating is exciting, it's fun. You get to meet someone new and to know them on a deeper level than perhaps you've ever known someone before. The thing is, if you can only connect with say 1 in every 100 girls, then even IF she goes out with you (that's a big IF at least IME) then she's more likely going to be one of the 99 than the 1 you can share raw fish wrapped in rice with forever. I'm not saying to not be enthusiastic, but temper it with reality for the sake of your sanity. If you don't then you'll drive yourself nuts facing proverbial doors getting slammed in your face when they judge you (or more particularly, your compatibility with them) as a person.

So my actual advice? Do stuff by yourself. Were you going for a beer after work anyway? Why not? Why does she change your plans? Just SEE the movie that you want to see, you don't need her to hold your hand through it. You don't need her to have a social life, you just have to go get one yourself.

[Jcannon98188]

Well, did you do it?