One Woman Wolf Pack

[labingo]

So... yeah, I think I've been doing this wrong. I have been lurking on the site for a week or two now (even made a post) but I just feel like I'm missing something. I hate introductions, and have therefore avoided it up until now. But all that lurking has left me feeling confused and I can feel my energy for this site draining, so I figured it was time to give this a go.

I'm 5'7'', 260lbs, and a Pisces. Sadly, despite my profile pic, I no longer have pink hair. (Other engineers tend not to take kindly to this sort of colorful expression.) My lurking has resulted in one good thing: I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do now! I've lost lots of weight in the past, and lots of things have made me gain it again... but I'd like this to be different. I did running for a while... ran a 5k and everything (something I can't believe I did considering my level of health now), but got sick and bored of it and quit. I lifted weights for a while, and enjoyed that to some extent, but that fizzled quickly after a few missed workouts. So I landed at something I've always wanted to do, fighting. It's been in the back of my mind for a long time. When I was younger I asked my mom to do a martial art, which she quickly diverted me from. I've thought about it, done research on it, and ultimately decided I was too scared to do anything about it. I'm an extremely physical person, and even now at 22 I still greet my sister with jabs and punches. (2 years younger but half a foot taller... she ends up flooring me most of the time.) I guess, for the first time I can really remember, I'm excited about doing something. Unlike running or weight lifting, I actually /want/ to do this.

So, my plan right now is to lose enough weight to feel comfortable joining a gym. I'd like to do kickboxing, but I'm still doing some research in to that. I'm also interested in doing some stretching/yoga type activities, but I think I'd like to save that for a later date.

The only thing I'm really worried about is what I used for the title of my post. I am a one woman wolf pack. I am extremely self sufficient, and have been so for most if not all of my life. When I was 11, my dad died, and that made me the figurative man of the house. My mom got too caught up in grief and depression, and I had to pick things up and take care of my younger sister, trying my hardest to make sure she learned how to do things the right way. I was the parent of a 8 year old girl and a 42 year old woman. It's been stressful to put it lightly. I've always felt like the black sheep in my family, and still find it amazing how little they know about me and what I want in life. I am the sole source of financial support in my current household (which consists of my boyfriend and puppy). Though my boyfriend does have a job (and I love him very much!) I'm paying all household expenses while he saves up to go to school. While I do see positives in my solidarity, I know it's a big weakness. I'm afraid I won't be able to integrate into this community, or my stubbornness is going to keep me from getting help where I need it. Not to mention the awkward engineer in me just wants to work silently and pretend the rest of you don't exist. 0_0

Don't let this deter you though. I'm really friendly, and very helpful. I'd give anyone the "shirt off my back", but I have trouble relying on anyone in return. If I can put a smile on your face, my day is complete.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Athena is right about diet. Also, you may want to look into the Monk challenge boards, they are the group that is into martial arts/self defense as a primary focus. If you do, you may decide to get in on the next 6 week challenge with some initial goals. Also, you may want to look into the book Boundaries By a guy named Townsend (His first name escapes me) that might help you get some balance in the lone-wolf issues you raised.

Welcome to the Rebellion!

[surge_supra]

So glad to hear another girl likes to fight!

**I know, I know, lots of girls do, and lots of girls lift! But before I found Nerd Fitness I felt like the strangest woman ever that got the biggest kick out of punching something or being able to lift more than I did last week!

Good luck with everything! So glad you're finding something that you really wanna do! Trust me, when you love it--you'll do it rain or shine. I go to the gym two hours almost every day because the fitness classes at my gym are awesome (BodyCombat, Legit boxing and kickboxing, great yoga classes, barbell and strength interval training classes). Find a place you love and feel comfortable and you'll wake up in the morning excited to try for your next fitness goal!

[labingo]

@Athena: I guess part of the reason I want to weight is because I feel so uncomfortable with the idea of being around other people when I'm this big. It's the biggest I've ever been in my life, and it's been quite a punch to the gut for my self esteem. I thought about getting a punching bag, but then I don't even know what I'd do with it. I've never done any sort of boxing, and I feel like I'd be very prone to hurting myself if I just did it on my own. I probably just need to suck it up and go to a gym, but that's a really scary thought for me. I also started doing the angry bird workout a few weeks ago, though that's been spotty. I need to stay more focused on working out, but it's hard for me. I won't even let my boyfriend in the same room when I do exercise because I think he'll probably laugh at how stupid I look. @_@ I know he wouldn't, but it's hard to convince myself otherwise.

@tanktimus:Thanks, I'll look in to that book! I've done some reading on introversion, though it mainly dealt with the strengths in an office environment. I really just need to learn how to work better with others though. =X

@surge_supra: I felt that way for a long time too. I've always been a tomboy... never really grew out of it. I hope eventually I can go to the gym that often. I'm excited about moving and finding a place I really like!

[Strawberry Squatcake]

I can appreciate how intimidating it is to start a new workout amongst experienced people, especially overweight. I have experienced that, and it's definitely paralyzing. However, I wonder if you could observe a few classes for free. Just ask if you can sit in and watch. And maybe that would either help you get over the fear and realize there are a lot of newbies. Or would maybe give you an idea of some things you can do at home.

I realize kickboxing as an aerobic exercise isn't really kickboxing as the real sport, but I wonder if there are videos out there you could invest in for $5-20? That's how I learned kickboxing (the aerobic sport), and when I finally went into a kickboxing class (again, aerobic, I feel like I haveto clarify), it made the transition easier.

I also learned yoga through videos long before it was "trendy" where I live. Now there are lots of classes, and while I'll never be all bendy and yogaed out, I feel comfortable in most non-advanced classes.

As for your personality, while I haven't been through anything similar to what you have, I guarantee others here are in similar situations. Either specifically with what you've taken on (which is inspiring, by the way!), or how you approach work and life now. I'm pretty introverted myself. I started out sticking my toe in the water, and now I've jumped all the way in. I've never been in a more supportive, accepting community. So just go at your own pace, and get out of it what you can!

Welcome and good luck with your journey!

[labingo]

I've actually been thinking a lot about doing Yoga via videos. I did yoga in a class for a while when I was in better shape, but actually found that being around the other people and having someone there telling me to calm down and relax stressed me out more. It was kind of weird. XD I like the idea of yoga a lot, but I wasn't sure how good it would be to learn off of videos. I think I might give that a shot. I'm also looking in to getting a punching bag, so maybe I'll give the home thing a shot. That might make me more comfortable when I actually do start classes... you're right! =)

[labingo]

Athena, I read the article about you today and I was like, "Oh man! I'm going to be as awesome as Athena and do the beginner body weight routine." Oh god... it hurts... I need water, lot's of water. Also, that article you posted did make me feel a tad better. I think that's the first positive thing I've ever seen about overweight people working out. =X

[labingo]

Need more inspiration? Check out

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Okay... that one made me cry. TAT