bad day at the box

[mandy75]

Today was the worst day ever. I actually walked out because I was so mad and upset at my trainer, and didn't complete the WOD, I have never, in the 4 months I have been there, not completed a WOD. No matter how painful it  is, how slow I am, or how frustrated I get.

 

The WOD was going to be 5 rounds for time- 400m run, 30 box jumps and 15 slam balls with 30lb ball. I LOVE slam balls! I hate box jumps, because they scare me. 

 

First I will state my accomplishment today. I did a 1 mile run warm up and did not stop to walk, ANY of it. That is a huge first for me. I have    40% or so cartilage gone from my knee due to an injury where I broke my leg in 3 places. I hate running and jumping, 

 

Ok, now for the WOD. I did get up to the 20in box jump 1 day. then I slipped and fell and hurt my ankle. So now I have a huge fear of them. I have been working on them since them, trying to rebuild the confidence. I was using 4, 45lb plates and sometimes add a 10lb that I would end up removing. The last time we did jumps, I tricked myself a little bit and put the 10lb in the middle so I couldn't remove it and didn't have to think about it being there and it worked, I was proud that I had added a little more height. As we were getting ready to start and I was stacking my weights, he asked what I was doing(i have only worked with him maybe 4 or so other times) I explained then he says he wants me to try something. He gets a step, stacks weights on it, whats to to step up on that, then jump like an inch on to the box??? Made no sense what so ever, He wasn't getting that I am not scared of being that high, i climb up on the boxes all the time, its  the jump it's self. So anyways, we get started, and I have already let him get me flustered. I ran my 400, got back to do the jumps and I was shaky. It was taking me a longer than I would like to jump, but it's a mental thing. My trainer says "do you want me to change the height or the number of jumps?" I ignored him, he came over and said it again. I told him, "neither" He said "It's slowing you down"  I told him "I either do it on my own time, or I leave" I finished that round, went for the second 400m and I was so angry and upset. I went in, got my stuff, cleaned up my equipment, told him I was sorry I was wasting his time and I left. 

 

The whole time I have been there, it was preached, that getting through mental barriers and finishing, is more important than the time on the clock. That is not how it seemed today. In the time I have been there, I have never felt like I wasn't good enough to be there, no matter how slow or weak i was, until today. And I am beyond angry that I allowed him to undermine myself confidence.

 

 I just started going 5 days a week, and if I want to continue that, I have to work with this coach 2 of those day.  UGH! This has ruined my whole day. 

[nikinoo]

Its times like that you just have to say "f**k it."

 

Don't let it get you down!

[mandy75]

Its times like that you just have to say "f**k it."

 

Don't let it get you down!

Sometimes I can let that anger push me to do better, today, was not one of days apparently. 

[jdanger]

There's a lot going on here but let me preface by saying that I don't like that wod, at all, for most people. Box jumps are a powerful tool used too flippantly in a lot of CF programs and people are getting hurt more than they should be in the gym. It's a problem endemic to a community that doesn't have the proper understanding and thus respect for what box jumps are capable of, both in isolation and as part of a wod. Additionally, you sound like a hard working person trying to improve so kudos to you. What follows is some food for thought on the situation and I apologize in advance if any offense is taken for none is intended I promise.

 

That said, given your injury history and relative newness to CF the coach should have spoken to you before the wod started regarding scaling. Again, it's my opinion that from a risk:reward standpoint this is too much even for athletes with a couple years of training under their belts but that notwithstanding, before the workout begins is the time to discuss such things. There isn't much magic in particular numbers and if you've got a problem with a movement it makes sense to scale the reps back on said movement because you aren't doing yourself any favors overdoing it.

 

Maybe the coach knows some of this and tried to step in and help you out because I do agree that scaling reps was the right call. However his timing, doing it right in the middle of the wod, isn't the best. It wasn't about trying to get you finished and out of there, it was about making a reasonable adjustment to the workout to get you through it safer. The mental side is over played day to day and yeah you should work hard but there are specific situations in which you should be doing it. Movements that you already have a mental aversion to and that have a high risk of injury, especially to people with preexisting issues, is not the place to do it. 

 

If you want to build mental toughness get on an AirDyne and ride 200 calories in ten minutes or push a sled for a half mile. I guarantee you'll learn something about yourself and toughness and you'll do it putting yourself at minimal risk of injury. The point is that while it's a valid part of training and becoming a better, fitter person, the mental side is over played in the community and used to unreasonably justify some pretty horrific programming. Far more important in the first years is learning to move well and getting strong. After that, well, we're all Navy SEALs I guess.

 

So I'd urge you to keep an open mind and go in and speak to the coach and learn what his reasoning is behind what he was asking you to do because he just might be the most rational guy in the place. 

 

Also, I promise Carjack hasn't hacked me. I normally refrain from getting too all up in CF's grill but yeah, stuff like this makes me sadface.

[cline]

I'm with jdanger on this one.  Good stuff there.

 

I'll add in my $0.02 b/c a) I totally get the being freaked out thing and the getting angry thing and the walking out thing (I've done it) and you want to go back so you need to know you've got this.

 

First, I hate anything that results in 150 box jumps for time.  WTF is that about?  I love a lot of what CF has to offer but honestly, 150 box jumps is not something I love.  My spousal unit (CFer) and I argue this kind of stuff all the time.  Box jumps are an advanced move that require so much explosive power that combined with running and slamballs, you are going tax your legs until you tank.  Seriously.  And if you are going for time, combined with the blown legs, your form will go to sh*t unless you are an elite athlete, your focus will go to sh*t, etc. and accidents are likely to occur.  Not good.  I agree w jdanger - I don't like that WOD.  Then again, many people here love CF and they'll talk you through it.

 

Second - YOU need to be really really firm about scaling WODs.  It's your coach's job to push (and sometimes they push too hard).  I understand this - I am dealing with a reconstructed ankle - any jumping scares all my dinners out of me (I broke it jumping).  My trainer pushes and he would also show me a box vs the plates and probably would have said the same thing.  That's actually not bad coaching.  BUT then you should have said that due to your fear, which you get may be rational or irrational (acknowledge and own it - it's better that way), you are going to do step ups for now and focus on the hip pop and form until you feel comfortable with box jumps.  Step ups are a great alternative to box jumps and you are a lot less likely to be afraid or to fall.  Then, you'll build confidence with the motion, the box, and the height.  Seriously.  I've done tons of step ups.  In theory, CF says all workouts are scalable and all athletes work at their levels.  It's often up to you to make sure this happens.

 

Third - my other big problem with CF is that even though adherents claim it's not competitive - it is.  Highly.  It might just be you being competitive with yourself or with others but it is.  That's what makes people force themselves to do things that scare them and that they aren't ready for.  Don't give in to that.  That is not overcoming a mental barrier.  That's caving to pressure to perform when you are sometimes not ready. 

 

Fourth - yeah, I've been super pissed with frustration in a workout.  Seriously.  I was so pissed one day at a combination of coaching that wasn't working for me (coach and I later agreed it was not good coaching in that moment), my own frustration, and my fear of a particular skill that lead me to kick a concrete column and storm out of the gym into the very cold weather in nothing but my tank and shorts.  I stormed off and walked around the block.  Emotional.  Childish.  Yeah. 

 

But I went back in.  I took ownership of my emotional behavior, I calmed down on my walk, and I explained that the coaching wasn't helping and WHY it wasn't helping (coaching is a two way street - NOT a one way street).  I explained where I was and what I was needing to work on that skill.  We finished the night with a much better working relationship and we worked on the skill in a way I that made me comfortable. 

 

And NO getting through a mental barrier is not more important.  Pushing yourself simply to push is not healthy.  That being said, do I mean give up or don't try?  good heavens no.  But you need to know when you can push and when it's okay to be afraid (again rational or not, it doesn't matter) and then how to work on that fear.  I honestly came close to crying one day b/c coach was pushing me on something that terrified me.  I knew why I was terrified and we'd talked about how my fear was irrational (it was) but it was still my fear and still amazingly strong.  I learned that day that if I was in control of where and when I worked on that skill, I wasn't afraid.  It was the sudden appearance of it in a workout that threw me off and let me get all emotional.  From then on I worked 3 reps of that skill at every workout as a part of warmup.  My choice.  My plan.  I knew I'd be working it.  Fear is pretty much gone now.  Do the same with your box jumps.  Do 3x step ups at that height on that box every day when you go to the box.  Do 3x actual jumps on a lower box.  Then work on it until it's not scary.  It will come.  Promise.  But if you are in complete control, you'll be less afraid. 

 

And your not feeling good enough was you not feeling good enough.  I know I know - I've been there how many times.  I am my own worst enemy in every workout.  It's a constant battle for a lot of us.  Coach was not disappointed, coach didn't tell you that you didn't belong.  Coach thought you could do more and had faith in you.  Sometimes the coaching cues don't  always work for us.  Sometimes we work against ourselves. 

 

Oh, and it's never either... or..  You could totally have switched to step ups or a lower height or fewer reps.  If the goal was speed/time (which it was), being stubborn to stick something that was slowing you down was working against the point of the workouts.  Man, crank out those step ups!  Sweet.  Watch the speed come.  I did a competition that involved AMRAP box jumps for 90 sec prior to a bunch of other stuff.  Guess what?  Almost everybody did step ups b/c we needed the energy, needed the legs, and had a LONG way to go.  Almost everyone did step ups - included the hard core folks.

 

It's hard. Go back.  Chat up coach.  He gets it. 

 

Own your box jumps and be firm about what you need.  Make a plan to tackle them (and I'd highly suggest with the box not the weights b/c it's the box that scares you.  Do step ups until the box is less scary.  Perfect your form.)

 

You got this. 

 

You do.