The New Me!

[mhehelen]

Hello I'm fairly new to the Nerd Fitness scene but not new to the concept of changing my life. Over Christmas 2011 I was editing our family photo albums ready to share the pictures with other family members over the internet when I just could not bare to put up a single photograph of myself as I hated everything about the way I looked, felt even more repulsed at what I'd become so decided there and then a massive change needed to be made and only I could make it.

 

Basically I had an accident in July 2007 and needed to have reconstructive surgery inside my abdomen, my abdominal walls are now made of metal mesh and following a series of complications, nerve damage, failed anaesthetic and bulging, I ended up as a wheelchair user from August 2008 onwards. Subsequently I was so depressed with my now non existent life of waking, being put on the sofa to be with my children then spending the rest of the days wetting myself because I could not make it to the toilet, in fairly constant pain. Well it was all a bit of a life of just existing, a nightmare for me. Over the next few years until Christmas 2011 I had put on so much weight I'd gone up to 150kg and just absolutely hated myself. I knew my family loved me and wanted me around but for me it was either give up immediately before the situation got any worse or change everything starting with myself, my massive body.

 

So 2012 started, the first opening day of the new year for my doctor's I rang and made an appointment. Twelve months of rapid weight loss, and I mean complete tunnel vision on loosing weight, I wanted this more than breathing life itself, to be thinner and more healthy, I was like a machine measuring, weighing, charting, documenting, keeping food journals, writing recipes, everything I could possibly do to help me stay focused on loosing the weight I did it and kept on doing it.

I had started attending a swimming club weekly in September and by November had made into the gym doing intense workouts with a trainer twice a week. I had never even been inside a gym before, it was scary as hell to go there but once I got familiar with my new surroundings I grew to love the place fairly quickly.

 

Lots of core strengthening exercises later, by 27th December 2012 I had lost a massive amount of weight and gone from 150.4kg down to 103.4kg, was able to stand unaided, even on one leg for a few seconds. I could get in and out of the bath myself, my life had changed in a massive way as I also was not tired any more, I started to wake in the mornings and be proud of the tasks I had set out ahead of me for that day.

 

On 31st December 2012 I underwent a gastric bypass to help me keep the weight already lost off permanently and loose the last 25kg to have a healthy BMI. During the same operation I had a lot of the problems inside my abdominal cavity repaired, nerves untapped, things that were squashed in the first op 2007 I had freed up plus a large bit of the metal removed so it was made smaller to match my new size frame.

 

The same day as the operation I was able to get out of bed and use the toilet without needing to hold on to anything, I could walk. It was my goal that I would loose as much weight as possible and be able to walk a bit by the end of the year, if I achieved all that then I would treat myself to a gastric bypass to keep the weight off as I never ever wanted to be a large overweight unhealthy person ever again. Here I was last day of the year having achieved all of those things so feel immensely proud of myself.

 

2013 I came home from hospital four days after my operation first week in January, I did not need to spend all day laying down as originally thought, I did get extremely tired in the evenings so rested then but other than that I was pretty much able to be around the household and my family joining in with daily activities which made me feel good inside too. Four weeks later I went for an assessment to see how I was doing, I had already lost weight and was now down to 95kg for the first time since I was 17 years old, I've always been a large lady throughout my adult life and have had seven children in the last 24 years so seeing the 95kg on the scales stunned me. I seriously have not been this weight since 17 - 18 years old.

 

Six weeks post op and I went back to the gym, this was last week. My trainer now has me standing on one leg doing bicep curls to strengthen my core stability even more, I do a full hour long work out and feel great. I've been back three times already and absolutely love it. I have walked home 0.8 miles from the gym twice too, this of course has been the biggest change, no more wheelchair for short trips. I have not used it in two weeks. 

 

Now that I'm lighter too I have noticed many things are different, my children could not stop laughing when I did get out of the bath the other day and say "holy crap I can see my hip and thigh bone" as I looked down towards one side, all the Nutty Professor jokes have been a staple in our house this week but its all good, I can really see my sides when I look down, I have ribs, a neck, muscles, I can feel abs, I've been back swimming twice too and even managed 24 lengths of a 25 metre pool yesterday.

 

I am loving all the changes, was a bit overwhelmed this week as there have just been so many that I started to cry and did spend a considerable amount of time in floods of uncontrollable tears but I think I just needed to mourn for my old self that has completely disappeared. Needing to just let go finally once and for all. It was really hard getting up after all that emotionally draining experience yesterday but I did it and went to the swimming club, once I got into the water I felt so proud I'd made the effort and did not let myself down.

 

This year my new goals are:

1) to make it out on to the athletics running track at my local sports center and actually jog around the whole track once before the summer, I'm thinking before the end of May.

2) to reach 65kg in weight before the end of the year

3) to sign up for a long walk or race event taking place in Spring 2014

4) to view colleges in the autumn to go back to do diet and fitness certificates in 2014

5) to never having to use the wheelchair again by the end of the year

6) to make a conscious effort to smile more like I have been doing every day

7) to retain my disciplined mind and focus

8) to enjoy myself and be happy

 

I've already travelled a hell of a long way in just 13 months, its all been about making positive changes for myself personally which I have succeeded with, setting new goals to remain focused. Only thing is now its all starting to feel incredibly raw, exciting and massive so I am definitely blessed to have found You as I may need pushing from time to time as the weeks intensify for me.

 

I have an online blog which is 11 years old, obviously weight loss, gym training and being able to walk stuff is more recent but its all there if you want to take a look http://myheartexposed.co.uk

 

Thank you for having me and I look forward to taking part in things more regularly as I can, should point out at this stage that I am also registered blind so will do my best to keep up with the reading online whilst I get used to the layout and how the site works.

 

All my love

 

Helen x

 

 

[Avalonna]

I've already travelled a hell of a long way in just 13 months

 

DAMN! I'll say! You obviously have a ton of drive and motivation. Overcoming such major obstacles and achieving what you have is nothing short of amazing. My hat is of to you.

[Eats-Own-Tail]

seconded. i think you're amazing. !!

[mhehelen]

thank you both

[mhehelen]

http://www.youtube.com/embed/0BnGZvx5iJc

 

this is me jogging for the first time since being a wheelchair user, today after some cardio and strength training inside the gym I decided to the time had arrived to try going out onto the track, I did jog all the way around the 400 metres track it was very difficult but I was determined to make it back to the starting point. Feeling pretty epic over this achievement