Do you have what it takes?

[Cyberdildonics]

The Cylons were created by man. They rebelled. They evolved. They look and feel human. Some are programmed to think they are human. There are many copies. And they have a plan.

 

Do I have what it takes to stand up to the Cylons? Well I hope so!

 

Okay, enough nerding out, let's get serious. I say serious like I'm not going to compare myself to fictional creatures over the entirety of this post, but never mind.

 

My story

 

I started 2012 as a cave troll. 5'9, 212lbs, fat and clumsy and slow. In March I finally decided that enough was enough, slung a leg over my first trusty steed, and started a journey into the unknown. At first I could only cycle a couple of miles at a time, but within a couple of months I was cycling 10+ miles in a single go. I cut cake and biscuits from my diet, I started counting calories, and after a while I joined a gym and started flinging weights around.

 

Cut to September, still 5'9, still clumsy and slow, but now I weigh in at 167lb; closer to a half-orc than a cave troll. Finally got myself a job, fitness took a back seat, so did counting calories, but I didn't do a backslide, and by January I was down to 160lb, and ready to get back on track.

 

New steed, new adventures. Started cycling to work at the beginning of January (snow season, if you can do that you'll do anything.) It's 8 miles each way, and there's a good few hills between home and there. Joined a gym next to work, mostly so I can use the shower in the morning immediately post-ride and regain the feeling in my ice-cold legs. Started lifting weights again in February, but find it hard to stick to a proper program, as all the cycling drains me like hell for any leg work, and I have to try to fit everything in to a 50 minute lunch break.

 

Cut to now. This is me:

 

My stats

 

For a quick photo recap of my year, click here

 

So now I'm a half-orc, I guess. 5'9. 150lb. Fairly strong and pretty solid - I can ride non-stop at a moderate pace for hours, insanely clumsy with little hand-eye co-ordination.

 

Strength (STR): 2

Dexterity (DEX): 1

Stamina (STA): 4

Constitution (CON): 3

Wisdom (WIS): 3

Charisma (CHA):2

 

My goal is to be a monk/ranger; strong, solid, quick and nimble, but capable of plugging away for miles and miles on any one of my trusty steeds (my one(many) true love(s).)

 

My training

 

My gym routine currently revolves mostly around a barbell:

 

OHP / Row / Shrug @ 5rep / 10rep / 10rep. Current weights: 20kg / 22.5kg / 25kg x3. Plus 1+ set of 5x 27.5kg OHP, to ramp up the weight a little.

Decline bench / Situps @ 5rep / 10rep. Current weights: 22.5kg / 25kg / 27.5kg / 32.5kg x3.

Assisted pullups / dips @ however many I can crank out. Current assistance level: 18kg. Pullups are kippy, but my main goal on this is one unassisted negative, because then I can buy a bar for my house and do them all the time.

Hammer curl @ 10rep per arm. Current weight: 7kg.

 

This takes me about forty minutes, minimal resting times, which means it fits nicely in my lunchbreak. I'm seriously considering re-adding deadlifts, just because they're awesome, but they can be a little quad heavy and there's only so much my legs can take. If I do, it would probably be heavy on Monday, light on Friday, because that's when I'm least and most roasted in the legs department, respectively.

 

I cycle ~80 miles a week as a standard, but with the odd day off and it being blizzards in March on our tiny island, my Strava average since I bought a GPS unit in January is 65mi/wk; 5hr26. When it stops snowing so damned much, I'll be taking my new bike out for a long ride every weekend. Weather permitting, the first four of these will be over Easter (I have Thu-Mon off work, and fancy racking up 200 miles over that weekend if I can.)

 

I start kickboxing on Tuesday. I'll start at 1 session a week, possibly making it up to two if I'm physically capable of doing so. I'm hoping this will help me with my co-ordination and dexterity problems, along with just being generally awesome fun.

 

My diet

 

So like most people I try to talk to about this stuff (a line of glazed over eyes, I can assure you) you're probably thinking "so what's the problem?"

 

Actually, that sentence combined with the heading gives an indication of what the problem is.

 

At this stage, I'm obviously not getting anywhere from exercising all the time but half-assing my diet. I keep saying "I'll go paleo" but when it comes down to it, I just damned love all kinds of food. And I'm lazy. This means that instead of making dinner for me, and then a vegetarian option for my nerdier half, I just make the vegetarian option and eat that. It's usually pasta based, or there are chips or potatoes or similar. Because of this, and the fact that he's terminally impossible to transition off of his current eats, my diet sucks.

 

I want to change this, and this week he's away at a nerding conference in the US. This week, potatoes come off of the weekly veg delivery. This week I make one new paleo recipe every day. Every one will be something that can be converted to vegetarian in a couple of easy steps.

 

Can I make it stick? I certainly hope so.

 

Wow, this got long, let's wrap it up: Saddle up, nuggets! We're in for a bumpy ride.