I feel lost.

[tonym427]

I know what to do, what to eat. I just don't get why I can't seem to stick to it. I know results don't come in a day, or that the scale isn't the end all but I'm still lost.

 

I've gone up in weight at least to 225-230 from previously being 215. Between school stress and just personal stress (stemmed from being overweight) I get in a slump.

 

I tell myself eat clean, I write it on my phone, I think it when I get in the shower, before I sleep; but when I'm in front of food it's like my mind shuts off and I just eat. I know that's not an excuse, but it's how I feel.

 

I didn't know who else to tell this to or where else to write this so I'm just posting it here.

[Pyth]

I found what helped me a lot was simply not buying 'bad food'. When I went for groceries, it was easier to say 'I'm going to buy nothing but good healthy food!" and I'd do it. It's easy to buy stuff after all. Then when I'd be at home later, and go 'man, I'm hungry, gotta get something to eat', there wouldn't be an option in the house for junk. It was healthy or nothing, so I ate healthy.

 

That was the method I used anyways. I'm by no means a professional and your mileage may vary.

[minderly]

Hey, luckily you've found a great community to support you! I don't know as much as some of the other amazing people that will be able to give advice or encouragement but I understand your frustration. I used to feel like I had no control over my food intake, sometimes I still feel like that. Just like, but I want it or sometimes it is like my mind is not involved at all until afterwards.

 

<3

 

What helped me was to only put proper portions of healthy food in front of myself. Then I put the rest of the food away. Out of site, not out of mind...but if you read Steve's posts, he even says, it will be easier for you to avoid eating poorly if you make it harder for yourself. I'll try to find the link to the article for you.

[ZachAcid]

I found that the biggest and most important part of 'eating cleanly' was knowing how to recognize when I was full, and when I was eating because I was bored, or worse eating because I was happy.  I, personally, would suggest keep visual track of all the foods your eating, when your eating them, and why. I used to be 289 lbs and a size 42, now I'm 200-215 size 36 and I'm just beginning my training to learn parkour, seven years later. However, I yo-yoed a lot with dieting because I never really thought about what I was eating and why I was eating it.  

 

I'm sure this list could be potentially embarrassing for you, however if you do it in a private environment, like your room (white board maybe), bathroom mirror, where people could still potentially see it, think of how motivated you'll feel when it's all good.  But you don't need to start there, try just keeping a notebook with you and writing down what you ate (not the portions, just the food), then add the times, and so forth.  Before you know it you'll be six months into your diet and in such a good rhythm about eating, I dare you to try those "good" foods again.  It'll blow your mind.

[Nighner]

I tell myself eat clean, I write it on my phone, I think it when I get in the shower, before I sleep; but when I'm in front of food it's like my mind shuts off and I just eat. I know that's not an excuse, but it's how I feel.

 

Woah, yeah I hear you.  I seem to have the exact same phenomena going on.  I know what to do, I constantly think about what to do, I make spreadsheets with meal plans and exercise routines, then whamo... it's like some sort of auto pilot goes on and all rationalization and restraint are blocked out.  It really sucks.

 

I have been getting better with practice.  Just keep going in the right direction and keep trying to balance out the good plans with the auto pilot zones... make it a game.  For me the auto pilot stuff is now losing more than its winning, but it's a constant battle that requires vigilance and fortitude.  Yeah, that auto pilot is gonna win sometimes, just keep going, keep getting back on track.

 

 

 

I found what helped me a lot was simply not buying 'bad food'. When I went for groceries, it was easier to say 'I'm going to buy nothing but good healthy food!" and I'd do it. It's easy to buy stuff after all. Then when I'd be at home later, and go 'man, I'm hungry, gotta get something to eat', there wouldn't be an option in the house for junk. It was healthy or nothing, so I ate healthy.

 

Yup, this has helped me a lot.  I go into the store with a list generated from a weekly meal plan.  I only buy whats on the list.  It can really suck when your auto pilot is trying to engage and you go to the cabinet and all you've got is the healthy stuff you bought when you were in a strong moment.  But damn, it works! 

 

Something new I am trying (that I just read somewhere too) is to not do anything while eating except eat.  No meals in front of the tv, or while reading.  Just eat, feel the food, fill up, and move on.  

[Rostov]

ZachAcid mentioned record keeping and accountability, and I think that's worth thinking about.  The 'eureka' moment for me was starting to record all my food and exercise on My Fitness Pal and counting calories.  Two reasons this worked for me - partly because of the "game" nature of it - trying to come in on or under the calorie target - and partly because of the educational value in finding out how many calories are in which foods.  And I was surprised - some food has lots more calories than I thought, some much less, and it turned out that (for me) some small changes could make a big difference given time.

 

I wonder if the mistake that that you're making, tony, is trying to do too much too quickly.  Then you fail, and then you feel bad about it, and if feeling bad makes you eat worse, so it goes on in a vicious circle. 

 

What I'd suggest is trying something less ambitious - not "eating clean" but "eating cleaner" or "better" or whatever.  The thing to do is to start with very small changes - the kind of changes that don't even bother you that much.  For example - the sandwiches available in my local shop for lunch vary from around 300 calories to nearly 600.  A lot of the 300 ones are quite bland, so I won't have them, but there are some sandwiches that come in below 400 that I like just as - or nearly as - much as the 600 ones.  Make that change every day for five days and that's 1000 fewer calories per week, in exchange for virtually no sacrifice on my part.  Similar things are true of chocolate bars, crisps/chips, frozen pizza, takeaway food, and so on and so forth.  I would be very surprised if there aren't some relatively pain-free changes that you can make.  

 

Those are the changes to make first.  Once you've made them and they've become habit, making other changes becomes easier.  And once you start seeing results - what on another forum they call NSVs (Non-Scale Victories) - there's a lot of added motivation there.  Once the results became apparent, I felt great and wanted more and better.  Even after that point it's not always easy or straightforward, especially if other life priorities get in the way, but the hardest part - I think - is getting started.  The post-sacrifice, pre-results stage.  And you can get through that stage much faster if you can get the best possible results for the minimum possible sacrifice.

 

All the best - keep us informed of how it's going.

[Irish Oisin]

You should consider talking to someone as well, as in, a professional. It sounds drastic, but it isn't. I've gone to counsellors a few times over the years for a few things and getting an independent view on your approach to life can be refreshing and give you a new outlook on your problems. There's a psychological issue here that shouldn't be ignored, inner happiness is vital, VITAL, in achieving goals.

[I-Jo]

^ agreed

 

my friend and I just had a very very long conversation about the psychological impact emotions and mental things play into food.  She struggled with overeating for years and flat out said- "no one becomes morbidly obese from the love of food". (that's not in reference to you at all- we were just talking- that's pretty much her direct words regarding truly overweightness)  There is almost always something else going on- and the freudian is that food is always there- it never lets us down like people do. 

 

Anyway- I have found- buying good food- and plenty of it really helps. Having good snacks is very important.

 

start small and make small changes- stick with them for 30 -90 days.   IF you do a month- remember 21 days is the time it takes to form a positive habit so if you stick with it- bam- good habit created- you'll find at the end of the month you just do the right things and it's much easier too. 

 

 

I find I can do all my shopping in less than 30 minutes- late at night- and I have ONE hand cart- no push cart.  I can take ONLY what I can carry.  And I start in produce- hit the meat section- hit the eggs- hit the frozen section for veggies- literally one big loop and outside the registers I see almost NO junk food. 

 

"shop the outside of the grocery store" is VERY true- and very efficient way of keeping your crap to a minimal. 

 

Also- there is no moment when you win.  You're thinking at some point it ALL goes away and you just become a good decision making machine.  But there are days even the fittest and healthiest people reach for something trashy.  it happens- ti's a life long war- each battle is won when you shop better- or go work out when you don't want to- or say NO to the junk food at work.  

 

You can ABSOLUTELY do it- keep accountable- find someone who is willing to be your buddy- their goals don't have to be yours- but you both need to keep track- bet each other a buck- or push ups each time one fails.  Do SOMETHING.  it will REALLY help.