Annoying comments you hear all the time

[PNH]

After reading through 18 pages of this, there are two things that really bother me here.

 

1) Just because someone is eating chips/smoking a cigarette/being unhealthy in any number of ways does not mean that their advice is wrong. The acid from eating lemons IS still bad for your teeth and having one serving of potato salad WON'T kill you. You don't have to choose to listen to what they say, and often if it is health advice from someone who is clearly unhealthy you shouldn't listen, but just because they look a certain way or participate in certain habits does not invalidate their thoughts. Ranting is good if it helps you get bad feelings off your chest, but many of you would probably feel better if you could change your point of reference in your mind so that comments like that didn't cause you to want to rant in the first place.

 

 

2) Forgetting strangers and random friends and family you see a couple times a year(all people I regularly rant about), many of the posters here seem to have issues with their immediate family(parents/siblings/loved ones) not understanding what they are trying to accomplish. My mom has been a mostly absentee parent and so while I still talk to her a few times a month, I put near-zero weight into her opinions on my life. My dad and I disagree on many many things, but we still talk almost everyday and when I am on a quest to do something, I try to explain it to him so he at the very least understands and won't work against me.

 

You certainly don't have to answer to me, but I really do wonder, have those of you with immediately family rants tried spending 5 minutes explaining to these people what your goals are and what you are doing to achieve them? If not, why not sit down with them and explain, and if they have comments or questions, you can answer those too. There is even an off chance that The Rebellion might have a new member after you do.

[Guest CyborgNinja]

After reading through 18 pages of this, there are two things that really bother me here.

 

1) Just because someone is eating chips/smoking a cigarette/being unhealthy in any number of ways does not mean that their advice is wrong. The acid from eating lemons IS still bad for your teeth and having one serving of potato salad WON'T kill you. You don't have to choose to listen to what they say, and often if it is health advice from someone who is clearly unhealthy you shouldn't listen, but just because they look a certain way or participate in certain habits does not invalidate their thoughts. Ranting is good if it helps you get bad feelings off your chest, but many of you would probably feel better if you could change your point of reference in your mind so that comments like that didn't cause you to want to rant in the first place.

 

I fully reserve my right to disdain armchair nutritionists, now and forever.

 

Just today I got to listen to a room full of fat people talking about all of the pros and cons of eating this or that, gluten, organic, number of ingredients on the label, only shop in the produce area, grass fed beef - hey, fuck you people. If you aren't smart enough to only eat when you're hungry then you know NOTHING and should not be talking. The end.

[Wolfhorde]

Not sure he was saying anything in direct connection to that. He was more alluding to the fact of the fundamental attribution error and that the presumption of "person x does y so advice z is not to be trusted" is not necessarily a correct logical conclusion in the sense that it invalidates their advice. Of course when it comes to nitpicking like that (and "food discrimination"/"clean" vs "dirty" eating/aka "x is inherently better than y!" approaches) and the fact that nutrition is not a one-size fits all topic a lot of advice can indeed be "inadequate" to say the least. But with every piece of advice or criticism or even scientific paper the scope of its claim has to be evaluated, in other words asking the question: does it even apply to me?

 

I mean if someone tells you you need to eat more fruits and vegetables because you're frequently getting the common cold or have headaches you can probably disregard that as a pile of feces.

[LynnyLee]

Thanks for calling me out as an example.

 

I'm with CyborgNinja. I reserve my right to be annoyed with armchair nutritionists, and really busy bodies in general. That's essentially what armchair nutritionists are, people who need to get back in their own lane.

 

Besides, I don't think I or anyone else is saying their advice is automatically invalid because of their bad habits or that we ourselves don't have bad habits. We're just saying that it's annoying to hear... because that's what the thread is about. I don't see why what I eat is anyone's business to the point to that they get to make random comments especially in such a pot/kettle situation. (BTW maybe you missed the part where I said I knew that eating lemons was bad for my teeth. I just found the remarks annoying.) And yes, I've politely said "mind your own business" several times to no avail. Additionally, looking at something from someone else's point of view does not necessarily take away my annoyance.

 

At the end of the day this is a thread asking about annoying comments people hear and that's what we posted. It did not ask for a justification of why we find those comments annoying. What did you expect to find here?

 

Then again, I guess this has to eventually happen in every thread that has rants. Someone has to come along and tell us how we should stop being such Debbie Downers.

[PNH]

I am a downer at heart so I am definitely not telling you to stop being a downer and I know you reserve the right to do whatever you like, duh. That being said, my question wasn't meant to call out a single person or a single example, they were just that, examples.

 

My question applies to mental health more than advice on physical health activities because I think that it is equally as important to be honest with yourself about your mental health status and goals as it is your physical health status and goals.

 

Do you guys think that allowing these questions/advice/situations to bother you to the point of posting it on a web forum is something that is healthy?

If yes, then what is healthy about it? If no, then shouldn't you take steps to not allow these things to bother you in the first place, just like you have all taken steps to improve your physical health habits?

 

Don't assume I am insinuating that I am right, it's genuinely just a question that I am curious about because I like to understand how people think.

[Wolfhorde]

At the end of the day this is a thread asking about annoying comments people hear and that's what we posted. It did not ask for a justification of why we find those comments annoying. What did you expect to find here?

 

Which doesn't diminish that it has the potential to show someone a potential problem. I mean I don't like people telling me what I should do nutritionally, either. But quite frankly some people also come off as the kind of people who dig telling other people what they should be doing or lamenting why people don't adhere to their diet or don't support their specific eating habits ect. It also in a certain way applies what he said about advice, because if someoen's lamenting other people giving them nutritional advice when they do things of the like themselves this is pretty much hypocritical.

 

The question to which degree this has any value - while debatable - is also still valid IMO. From what I've read about psychology "letting it out" is not necessarily always the best way to vent/deal with things.

[LynnyLee]

But quite frankly some people also come off as the kind of people who dig telling other people what they should be doing or lamenting why people don't adhere to their diet or don't support their specific eating habits ect. It also in a certain way applies what he said about advice, because if someoen's lamenting other people giving them nutritional advice when they do things of the like themselves this is pretty much hypocritical.

Agreed, but that was not my intent in pointing out what other people eat. The intent was humor. I actually take a very "mind your own business" approach to diet and expect others to do the same. It's only when others stick their noses in my business that I even think about theirs. As I said in a later post I work with a habitual busybody. And before anyone even says it, yes she's like that to everyone, not just me.

 

The question to which degree this has any value - while debatable - is also still valid IMO. From what I've read about psychology "letting it out" is not necessarily always the best way to vent/deal with things.

I agree that is a valid debate, but I don't think this is the thread for it.

[LynnyLee]

 

My question applies to mental health more than advice on physical health activities because I think that it is equally as important to be honest with yourself about your mental health status and goals as it is your physical health status and goals.

 

Do you guys think that allowing these questions/advice/situations to bother you to the point of posting it on a web forum is something that is healthy?

If yes, then what is healthy about it? If no, then shouldn't you take steps to not allow these things to bother you in the first place, just like you have all taken steps to improve your physical health habits?

All valid topics of conversation that would be fairly interesting. However, perhaps you should start another discussion instead of threadjacking this one.

[LynnyLee]

 

[I-Jo]

oh hai.

 

I aRe bellydancer too.

 

 

waves

[LynnyLee]

Hello fellow dancer. There used to be a bellydancer thread on here somewhere. Perhaps we should go revive it,

[I-Jo]

LOL meh- no biggie- just thought we could continue the thread jacking

 

Mostly with 

 

"Oh you bellydance" oh yeah... eh eh ehe eh (includes raised eyebrow)

 

or

 

me : "I'm a bellydancer"

 

Stupid Person "oh COOL SHOW ME"

 

DAFUK.

[LynnyLee]

"I bet your husband must really like that. Wink wink nudge nudge."

 

I always want to respond with "Yes, he loves it when we're having sex and I just get up and start dancing."

[I-Jo]

LOL yes- it's the wink wink nudge nudge part that gets me.

 

Sigh oh well.  I actually train at my gym- **most** everyone is used to it by now- but occasionally you get your odd ball douchcanoe who just can't leave well enough alone. Oh well. LOL

[LynnyLee]

It's seems like wink wink nudge nudge sums up about 90% of the annoying bellydance related comments. The other 10% come from racism/Islamophobia. At least that my experience. Your ratios may vary.

[girljen]

Ok, so today is Father's Day.  So much awkwardness.

 

I am divorced from my daughter's dad.  We're equal partners when it comes to raising her.  I am not a single mom.  I'm a mom, a very fortunate and grateful mom with lots of help, who is not married. 

 

I don't like being referred to as a single mom, because it short-changes my ex-husband.  Yeah, we had marital issues and divorced.  We're still Mom and Dad, we both understand that we have a job to do together.

 

The fact that I have a boyfriend now adds a tiny bit of awkwardness, too.  Him and I are a couple.  He's not a parent.  He's not my daughter's dad, not by a long shot.  Maybe a few years from now, he'll become part of the household and take on more of a parent role, but for now, he's only an occasional fun and friendly presence in the little one's life.

 

Also, my dad passed away when I was 18. (I'm 31 now)  The loss will always be there, but the fragility and the grief has gone, so there's no need to apologize.  My dad was awesome and I miss him and I'm grateful that I had him around for as long as I did, but people seem to walk on eggshells around me when I mention him.

[cinematichigh]

'You'd be really pretty if you lost some weight'

[I-Jo]

DB to the face what??

 

LOL I'd have said- you'll still be ugly even if you do!!!

[maeggieakamegan]

'You'd be really pretty if you lost some weight'

 

"You got the cute face, just need to work on the body"

 

gawd, if it wasn't for the alcohol and the company I wouldn't go to bars at all. There's always some "rando" that thinks disarming chicks is the way to get into their pants. Swear, if I wasn't worried about going to jail, probably would have jaw jacked the asshole!!

[Acryllica]

I'm only just going paleo and its already started among my girlfriends on our secret facebook group. "I could never have the will power you have!" (to which I said YES you do, but you haven't wanted to apply it to food yet. You applied it to quitting smoking. You just haven't applied it to better eating.)

[girljen]

I'm only just going paleo and its already started among my girlfriends on our secret facebook group. "I could never have the will power you have!" (to which I said YES you do, but you haven't wanted to apply it to food yet. You applied it to quitting smoking. You just haven't applied it to better eating.)

Awww!  That's super encouraging! 

[GirlIN]

I took a chance and wrote on facebook my new deadlift PR (I never write in facebook anything fitness related) and my dad, who is very overweight, never been fit, and thinks he knows everything about everything, has been commenting ever since that day.

"You are going to hurt yourself"

"So what, you want to be a bodybuilder"

"They all take steroids you know why don't you just run?"

"Girls aren't built to be lifting like that"

"You will end up with a bad back for years"

I've given up telling him abut fitness. Apparently he knows it all.

[maeggieakamegan]

^^^ Been dealing with the same problems with my father, only not about lifting (he lifted in competitions, so he knows the benefit)

 

He thinks he knows about nutrition and eating the right way.

 

"Need to cut your calories in half 5 days a week and eat regular for the other 2, that's how you'll lose weight"

 

Yeah, Papa, because that's going go well with my workouts as I pass out from a lack of energy. Thanks, but no thanks!

[GirlIN]

How about you snipe back "I only take fitness advice from people who are actually fit"?

 

Probably best, since it's family and all, to stick to something like "I appreciate your concern, but I know what I'm doing." Post a link to Spezzy's article (or mine) so he has a better perspective on what women who lift look like, who aren't into professional bodybuilding.

Lol I probably should, just send links to him instead of trying to talk to him myself, then h might be educated, or be quiet!!

Its always another story with family ! :/

[AliceM]

I took a chance and wrote on facebook my new deadlift PR (I never write in facebook anything fitness related) and my dad, who is very overweight, never been fit, and thinks he knows everything about everything, has been commenting ever since that day.

"You are going to hurt yourself"

"So what, you want to be a bodybuilder"

"They all take steroids you know why don't you just run?"

"Girls aren't built to be lifting like that"

"You will end up with a bad back for years"

I've given up telling him abut fitness. Apparently he knows it all.

 

I've had to tell a few people - no I'm not going to look 'muscly like a body builder' / it's not bad for my knees / I don't enjoy doing cardio, I enjoy lifting heavy weights... etc!

 

I haven't posted anything on FB about lifting, but I have planned on posting when I squat / deadlift bodyweight because I'll be so.happy!.... I'm not sure now though!!