10 things I learned after trying crossfit today.

[thescrawnycaveman]

Today I had the opportunity to go to a free Crossfit meetup through meetup.com. I signed up for this meetup about a week ago and was very psyched to go and get my ass kicked. I was pumped and nervous, for the workout. I'm not gonna tell you what exercises we did, suffice it to say it was intense, at least for me it was. Here's what I learned:

1. Just because you are skinny does NOT mean you are in shape. If you heard my breathing from behind a curtain, you'd expect to find a guy who thinks cake is a perfectly legitimate choice of dinner.

2. Being able to run a few miles without keeling over means nothing if you aren't taking the time to run on all fours as well.

3. If your legs are shaking after the warm-up, don't try and convince yourself "Oh, I've just got the jitters, I don't think the workout can be THAT bad..." God will prove you wrong. Not only will he prove you wrong, but you will learn that he does in fact love kicking a man while he is down.

4. There is no such thing a sprinting when you do a bear crawl if your legs are significantly stronger than your arms. It is just called a long-distance faceplant.

5. The point of having a partner during a workout is not to be able to have breaks or make things easier, their only purpose is to make you think "well shit, I don't want his time to be slow just because I'm slow"... and guess what he's thinking? Yea, the same damn thing. This causes what I like to call a "clusterfuck of pain and dry-heaving".

6. When choosing a partner, always choose the partner closest to your body type. Exceptions include: when you are the weakest person anyways, if theres a cute single girl to pick (smaller than you, weaker than you, and preferably blind, so she can't see you screw up), and if you just really need a confidence booster.

7. Blurry vision is only a problem if you have to aim. Or drive home.

8. When your heart, lungs, and stomach are all simultaneously screaming at you, it really doesn't matter how much water you drink. They still hate you.

9. For the smokers: For those like me who continually tell themselves "Well I don't smoke a pack a day anymore" or "I'm only smoking one or two a day now," it does not matter. Crossfit will infiltrate your lungs, find the tar, and give it the dirtiest sanchez you can imagine. I've never been stabbed in the chest with a machete before, but after today I think I have a pretty good grasp of what that feels like.

10th and most importantly, I learned that no matter what you are going through, you shouldn't give up. I could only complete the first of two rounds today before I felt like total death. I gave up and walked back to my car in shame, blurry visioned, tons of chest pain, limp limbs, and disoriented. I sat in my car until I could regain some sense of what I was doing (driving in downtown Chicago is dangerous enough). And almost immediately after I started leaving I felt the pain of regret far more than the stabbing sensation of every breath. I didn't even finish. I should have sat and waited, relaxed for 5 or 10 minutes, and tried again. I could have and should have pushed myself harder. But I didn't. Sometimes the immediate pain is more obvious than the fact that itll go away in a few minutes.

Tomorrow (well probably the next day... even if I only did half the workout, it still wasn't easy) I'm going to do the same workout again, modifying for the lack of equipment, but the same movements and same reps, and I'm not going to give up after round one. I'm not going to let myself down a second time.

Also, I am now quitting smoking with intense vigor. No more for me. I don't want my physical limitations to be stumped by my lungs setting up roadspikes.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.

[Knightwatch]

I applaud you for giving it a whirl! Good job!

1) There's a classic CF teeshirt that reads, "Your Workout Is My Warmup". Welcome to Crossfit, sir.

2) As for quitting, many people will walk off and say, "screw this, only an idiot would choose to do this nonsense". The fact that you felt like maybe you should have kept going anyway, shows that you've got that warrior spirit that can blossom into a real firebreather, should you ever choose to return. Because, yeah, pretty much all CF boxes post their athletes' scores on the white board every day, and also if they did not finish, or "DNF". There's another CF tee out there, "Death Before DNF".

Again, welcome to the club.

[thescrawnycaveman]

Haha, thanks. What gets me the most about the experience, is that it WASN'T my legs that were failing me, or my arms, or my chest or my back. They were all hurting, but nothing I couldn't get over. What got me to quit was the fact that my lungs and heart just couldn't take it. At a certain point I was wondering "How many people die per year due to an exploding heart at a gym?"

I'd love to do Crossfit again, or even do it regularly, but I don't have equipment or $140 a month right now. So until I can afford to do Crossfit, I'm going to be trying to take that intensity and merge it with my bodyweight exercises. This experience has definitely given me new goals, and I hope everyone on here gets a chance to try it out at least once.

[ertzeid]

One great thing about Crossfit is that you can scale a lot of workouts to do in your garage (even your barbell-deficient garage). Do as much as you can with bodyweight and get creative. And sometimes you can find other heavy stuff to use, like water jugs or something. I've done some tough workouts with just my bodyweight (though I do recommend some kind of mat if you're doing situps). Go to a playground to work on your pull-ups. Do push-ups and squats and burpees and situps. By the time you can sign up for an on-ramp class, you'll be miles ahead... As long as you keep up as much intensity with the bodyweight as you did at the meetup

But, do be careful. Another thing about Crossfit is that it's been linked to Rabdo. It's important to know when to stop and rest, too.

[thescrawnycaveman]

Pardon my french, but what the hell is Rabdo???

[Brometheus]

Really really bad juju

Otherwise known as exercising past your limits. And having lots of fun stuff happen afterwards *rolls eyes*

http://journal.crossfit.com/2005/10/crossfit-induced-rhabdo-by-gre.tpl

http://journal.crossfit.com/2010/01/rhabdo-pdf.tpl

http://www.crossfit.com/journal/library/38_05_cf_rhabdo.pdf

http://www.athleteinme.com/ArticleView.aspx?id=241

By the way, love the post. Couldn't stop laughing. And yes, crossfit is hella $$$. That's the reason why I'm not doing it either.

[thescrawnycaveman]

Rhabdo: Being so beast that your muscles take over your organs.

Glad you enjoyed the post Clawed_Bear. Do you try and keep the same amount of intensity in your workouts as you would at CF? If so, what kind of stuff do you do to keep it intense?

[Knightwatch]

http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=38312

You're welcome. Or, sorry, as the case may be.

(first post, dl the PDF. Pretend you don't see the first workout listed, Angie, for a long time, and try some of the more reasonable ones. )

[thescrawnycaveman]

Awesome PDF!!!! Thanks man! And I have heard horror stories about Angie. (Also Linda. I am deeply horrified by Linda)

[Brometheus]

I've never actually been to crossfit, I figured that I wouldn't bother until I got some stuff together. And a lot of money. I have seen some of the insane videos though...

My workouts? I just continually push myself. Lower time, less breaks. My goal is to get to 30/30 work rest when doing kb swings...which is probably a decent way off. But not un-obtainable.

I've learned that pushing myself 95-97% is not impossible, it's just understanding when to push and when to back off that's important. Some days 80% is all I can do, other times I smoke every previous record and I feel great.

[thescrawnycaveman]

You should give your local Crossfit a call, most will give a free session. It is seriously worth the experience if nothing else.

I myself still need to find the point of backing off. Today I think if I had listened to the coach (he saw me struggling and would say "if you have to slow down" or "don't be afraid to shave some reps off") I may have survived the workout. I'm too stubborn to not give everything I have in a pretty short amount of time, and a lot of times I get burned out because of it. The only other alternative I can really find is casual, not too intense working out, which can be a little unsatisfying.

I'm a big fan of the idea of "Death before DNF".... I just have to figure out a way to not have to choose between the two :-D

[kahn265]

Most boxes also have a "Free Saturday".

Welcome to the crazy club!

[Crooked]

I love this! It felt so familiar to me, since I just started recently.

[Alethea]

I've never done crossfit, likely never will unless I find a coupon for it, but oh MAN this had me laughing. Great list, man!

[kahn265]

For the record, I can't afford normal CF Box membership at this time either - but I consider myself a Crossfitter.

Yes, on Tuesday/Thursday I have someone who runs the CFish class at the YMCA.

However, on Monday/Wednesday - I and one other person in that class head up to the Y and we do the Workout that is LISTED for the day on our local CF box (or occasionally the one at Crossfit.com). We encourage each other and push each other. Furthermore, if you are worried that you "aren't doing an exercise correctly" you can use the camera on your phone and upload an video to Youtube and ask the message boards at Crossfit.com if your form looks OK.

A large number of Crossfitters do their workouts that way. Its cheap and it works.

Today Jean and I are going to do "Air Force". I expect to be doing the "Old Man Walk" the rest of the week.

[Knightwatch]

Today Jean and I are going to do "Air Force". I except to be doing the "Old Man Walk" the rest of the week.

Oh, man, Air Force? Yeah, that one hurts. Good luck!

And agreed, one can definitely work out with the CF methedology without going to an actual Crossfit box. In fact, one of the top-placed finishers in the Crossfit Games Open this year does just that:

http://journal.crossfit.com/2011/06/davidstoweglobo.tpl

You can do CF at a traditional gym, at your home gym, with or without weights. It's all about getting creative.

[thescrawnycaveman]

I'm currently working on getting creative with my workouts. I haven't been working out for very long (my only history of working out was from two years of strength training in high school), even though I know how to do the basic stuff correctly (squat, deadlift, bench, etc) I don't have much background with the other types of workouts that you see in crossfit or workouts without weights. Nonetheless I am substituting a kettlebell with a backpack filled with rocks, I'm also using that for weighted squats.

Any of you guys have any other suggestions for makeshift crossfit-style workouts or workout equipment?

And I'm glad Alethea and crooked enjoyed the lessons I almost killed myself to learn :-D.