Celebrating (-)

[Avalon]

I don't know if it's ok to post this here, so Mods I trust you to take it down if necessary, but it's a big deal to me and I wanted to share.

 

I failed to finish last challenge because of fear.  I have had anxiety issues for a while, and after this I am FINALLY getting help.  My first session is next week, and I'm so looking forward to putting all the scary stuff in my head to rest. 

 

Recently my thoughts have been running around a possible exposure I'd had to HIV last year.  For the way my obsessive thoughts run, this damaged me greatly.  My boyfriend and I had trouble being intimate, I was nervous all the time, I couldn't sleep, I ate poorly, my workouts suffered, it all just straight up sucked.  I talked to him about it, and we both made an appointment to get tested, even though I'd been tested and came back negative before, to put my fears to rest.

 

And yesterday the day finally came - we went together to Planned Parenthood and we both got tested.  I could hardly talk the whole time for fear, but he somehow made me laugh.  And after about an hour of peeing in cups and swabbing my gums and the nurse holding my hand and joking about feinting, she finally came back into the room and said "Congratulations, you're both fine - your test came back negative, non-reactive.  You'll be ok."

 

Today I celebrate by going to get a new tattoo - I'm putting "I'll be ok" and a small "13" on my right wrist (for getting tested on Friday the 13th), to remind me that whatever f*cked up sh*t either the world or my own mind throws at me, I'm strong enough to overcome it.  And this week, I celebrate by starting yet another NF challenge, knowing that I'll see this one through 'til the end. 

[wildross]

I think it is definitely appropriate.  One thing that comes up a lot here at NF is that the mental issues/challenges we face in our journey to becoming healthier are always at least as big as the physical challenges.  

[Maledictus]

Wow.  Congratulations.