just a bae

[kayla by day]

Hello everybody my name is Kayla and I want to live the best life that I can.

     I just graduated from high school this year and I'm currently in university to become a teacher. The way that things are learned in university is so different from high school that it causes you to realize how much you've been lied to, just because you were a kid. When I came to this realization I was pissed off. I cried and screamed at no one and I begged the question "why?", but I wasn't given an answer. So I picked myself up, called a cab and went to class, cursing the weather for delaying the bus. Later that day I understood why; because when someone is young and stupid, you don't want to be the asshole who crushed their world.

    I used to give purpose to myself by following what my parents wanted me to do. Don't be mistaken though, they didn't control my every move. But every time I did something to further myself, it would always be under the pre tense that if I did this thing, my parents would approve. 

    Well, growing up was not the fastest process for me, and it shouldn't be for any child. You should have time to be nurtured, and not just be thrown in the pool and expected to swim. My parents encouraged my pursuits, they paid for sports programs and bought me musical instruments. I never stuck with anything. What I wanted was beyond the reach of my father's wallet, it was in our brains; I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to grow a garden and go on intense kayaking trips up north. I'd seen people doing these things and they seemed happy and healthy. Why couldn't my family be like those people? We lacked the will to change. 

    Anyways once I came to this conclusion I couldn't go on living the way I was living. At the rate I'm going right now, I probably won't make it to 40. Now it's no longer a choice to care or not, not unless I want to keep living and improving my life.

 

Here are my short term goals:

 

• I want to go to Hong Kong in the spring time for an English Language Outreach program through my college
• I want to survive the first year of university
• Be in my first romantic relationship

Long term goals:

• Be happy
• Be healthy
• Change the world

Fitness goals:

• Lift my own weight
• Do acrobatics
• Wear skinny jeans with pride

 

 

Well here goes nothing. 

 

 

[Guest]

The switch from high school to uni can usually be a pretty big shock. But don't give up, you can do it

It's never to late to have the life you want, and today is the perfect day to start. There are tons of resources on this site that will get you started, and tons more for any and all levels of fitness you go through.

I hope you get to go kayaking up north That would be so much fun.

And once you've met your goals and are proud to be the one wearing your skin, rock them skinny jeans! You will look fab-u-looous

[DasBacon]

I raise my glass of water to you and hope that you stick with it and make your dreams become reality!

[kayla by day]

Thanks guys!

 

    I just finished registering for the Hong Kong teaching program in the spring and I hope my parents can help me out with the costs. But alas, I will have to learn to pay for things myself if I want to be considered an adult. I've also had some awkwardness among my group of friends from high school and it really bothered me. I think we just need some time apart and I have to start focusing on school more; recently I took a test which I was very unprepared for because I only heard about it that morning and had just enough time to remember the key terms. 

 

    Winter just showed up here in Saskatoon and it's kicking my ass. I think it might be kicking everybody's ass. Anyways thanks for the replies it feels good to have support.