Man shopoholic....help!!!!

[Superman116]

Hello guys, I've got a serious problem here...My name is Matt Aka Superman 116 and I am a shopoholic....I know this is usually a chic problem, but I always seem to find myself buying s**t I don't need, its like every time I get paid I'm out blowing money. I seem to have little control over this.

I guess I'm looking for advice or just somebody that can relate, maybe even somebody that has this same problem male or female that wants to work on it with me?

Either way I've come to a point in life to where I want to be more mature, and responsible. I want to start setting a good example for my kids.

[JPrev]

How bad is it?  Are you just free with your disposable income, or are you also tearing through savings and such?

[Superman116]

Ever heard the expression " wine taste with a beer budget"? Well that's me. I live outside my means and spend money I just don't have.

[JPrev]

Do you primarily use credit or debit?

[Superman116]

Debit or cash....dont have any credit cards

[JPrev]

That's probably for the best, for now.

 

I'll just speak from experience, so you should only take this as supplement to whatever other help you're getting.  Of the friends I've had with spending problems, the bad habit was enabled by two things: reckless desire, and lack of process.

 

Ultimately, you need to think about why you spend so much.  Why do you feel you need so many things?  Is it clothes?  Is it technology?  Is it booze?  Everything?  Why is that way?  Are you running from something?  Trying to be something?  Are you just having fun?  Don't tell me your friends or environment encourages it - that answer doesn't go deep enough.  Spending outside of your means can be a wild emotion like fire - seemingly uncontrolled and irrational.  But fires start somehow.  You need to find that source, and determine whether or not it can be addressed in some other way.  But that can be a whole post on its own right there, so I'll leave it be for now.

 

Now let's talk about process.  It's easy on the conscience to be reckless when you don't even have a plan you can feel bad about ignoring.  The basics include a checking account, a savings account, and a spending plan.  Let's talk about spending plans.

 

I'm sure you have some sense for money that you NEED to spend - your rent and taxes, for instance.  But, do you have an actual spreadsheet that lists these things out?  Can you look at a physical document that identifies where money NEEDS to go, where money SHOULD go, and what's left?  Think of it like a workout journal (you're on a fitness website, after all).  If you can get a good process going with tabulated data, you will have a physical document you will need to face every day.

 

For you, I think the idea of a "spending plan" rather than a "budget" is an important distinction, even if the difference is largely semantic.  A "budget" attempts to categorize everything you could possibly buy, and allots that group a specific amount.  A "spending plan" is a little different.  A spending plan says, "Hey, Superman116.  Look buddy, you need to set money aside for this, this, and this.  You should also put some money here for your savings.  But everything else?  Use it as you will, pal."  Spending plans preserve your freedom of choice while making it clear that you DO have to make choices.

 

So, do you have anything like that?  Do you have any sort of plan that says you need X amount for your recurring/mandatory payments, Y amount for an emergency fund/savings, and Z can be spent however you please (food, clothes, gas)?

[RisenPhoenix]

+1 to what JPrev said.

 

I do a combination of budget/spending plan, myself.  When I got laid off, I sat down and wrote down the absolute essentials I have in life (rent, food, car payment, credit card payment, dojo membership.... yes, that's an essential, etc etc).  Those I pay as I normally would - check in the mail, electronic payment, whatever.  But at the same time, at the beginning of the month, I withdraw $150-200.  That money sits in my wallet and is my from-savings "I can play with it" money.  Going to dinner?  Out with cash.  Grabbing a book?  Buy wallet cash.  Poker with some friends with a buy in?  Okay, I refused to do that since I hate playing poker and that's a waste of money for me.  But when that wallet is empty?  Tough cookies if something cool comes up and you're interested.  Come the start of the new month, I withdraw back TO ~$200.  So if I do manage to save a little the previous month, it helps me save a bit the next month.

 

Works well for me, but I'm a frugal SOB, so your mileage may vary.

[Superman116]

Thanks guys seems like great advice. I was actually thinking yesterday about making a spreadsheet.

I'm also going to have this as my side life quest on the upcoming 6 week challenge.

[j-squared]

Excellent, Also, if possible, setup automatic savings. If you have direct deposit, maybe you can have some of it direct deposited into an investment account that is not easy to spend the money from. This does not help a personal discipline issue, but does assure you get some savings set up.

 

Nerds love data, just as you should log your exercising, you should log your daily spending, at least for a month. Once you see, in person, how much you actually spend, it can make a huge difference in helping you make decisions and prioritizing items.

 

After that, you have to start to learn to do more and be more content. What I mean by that are different spending patterns that often crop up:

 

Some are "good intentions" spenders. They buy stuff with the good intentions of using it or changing their life. For example they buy a treadmill with the good intentions of using it, but it eventually it just collects dust. I try and tell people change the behavior before buying something. In other words, try jogging/walking outside 4 times a week for 60 days, to build the habit, then reconsider buying the treadmill. You may find you don't want it after all. 

 

Other people are hooked on the hype and next big thing spenders. They have to have the newest smart phone, latest game system, etc. Set up a system of saving in a sinking fund for those purchases. For example, everytime you pack a lunch to work instead of eating out, add $2 to the fund then buy the new toy when you've "earned it". You get more satisfaction in the purchase that way, versus the purchase feeding your hunger for a short time, then you get a new hunger.

[alvin545]

I also have a tendency to purchase many unnecessary things. I find it helpful to keep track of EVERYTHING you spend money on. I enter all my purchases into a spreadsheet and look at the total monthly. Once you see the amount you're spending, it'll give you a better picture of what you need to cut down on. Then you compare to next month's total and see how you progressed.

 

Another tip is to write down you potential purchases and wait a week. In seven days, if you still want to purchase the item, then go for it. I find that after waiting the initial 7 days, the amount of "want" I have for a particular purchase drops to near zero and I have avoided an unnecessary purchase. Hope that helps!