Wanting something more

[dracopervicax]

My brain is busy. As a forewarning, when my brain is busy, word counts go up.

I guess I should preface this by saying that I'm already on an Epic Quest in progress. I began Taekwondo in November of last year. One January day in practice I carb-crashed hardcore and confessed to my coach that I had been feeling like I was at war with my body, and I was slowly losing. It's understandable. I was trying to get a 192-lb body to move in ways it had never even considered before. But I wasn't without hope. My coach suggested that I try a new way of eating -- paleo. I threw myself into it with the goal of losing 50 pounds before my cousin's wedding in December.

Here I am seven months later and 44 pounds lighter. I'm sitting pretty at 148lbs (ish -- I really don't know. My last measure day was affected by monthly things). I have thirteen to go (long story), and though I have plateaued, I have not given up. I love eating paleo and most days it doesn't even feel like a sacrifice.

But I feel like... I guess I am wanting something more. It's so strange because who I am and how I see fitness is so different now than it was six months ago. When I started, I really just wanted to lose the weight and that's all I cared about. I was on the diet to lose weight, and as soon as I got it off, I was gonna be happy to get out of it.

Now, I really do believe white carbs are the devil and have no desire to go back to the SAD. This is true even though I still struggle with food/carb addiction and collapse every once in a while. I may be at 148, but how strong am I? How fit am I? These are the questions that really matter to me now. Or even if they don't now, I know these are the things I should be concerned about. They are the things that I want to care about.

I am currently in a bit of a transition. I came to Chicago, IL from my native Atlanta, GA to complete an internship. I leave from Chicago to DC on August 4th for a seminar to close my internship. After that week I will be back and moving into a new apartment with my fiancee. So I am thinking that this is a good time to stop, think, and re-evaluate my goals. To decide what it is I really want, and how best to go about that.

And I am hoping the rebellion will pardon my long posts and help me figure that out.

*sheepish grin*

I'll end my rambling there. Thanks to everyone... just for being here.

Deuces

[tsuchinoko92]

Welcome aboard dracopervicax.

The feeling of futileness regarding fitness is natural at first, since the body clings to it's past habits, even if not for the best.

So you want to gauge your fitness?. Very well, ask yourself, could you save your own life?.

If you can't save yourself you are no good at saving others.

Refer to this article to gauge your fitness:http://artofmanliness.com/2009/09/15/every-man-should-be-able-to-save-his-own-life-5-fitness-benchmarks-a-man-must-master/

We are a brotherhood. So feel free to ask any questions you may have.

And, plateaus are a sign that there is some tweak to be done in exercise or diet, so, do think about it well.

[Loren Wade]

We'll help however we can! Welcome to the Rebellion!

[PaddyBrophy]

Hey I'm new too! I think this board is a great place for us to try and find support for dealing with those carb binges (I had one last weekend...) and to discover more about how fit we are. Looking forward to getting to know you!

[dracopervicax]

Welcome aboard dracopervicax.

The feeling of futileness regarding fitness is natural at first, since the body clings to it's past habits, even if not for the best.

So you want to gauge your fitness?. Very well, ask yourself, could you save your own life?.

If you can't save yourself you are no good at saving others.

Refer to this article to gauge your fitness:http://artofmanliness.com/2009/09/15/every-man-should-be-able-to-save-his-own-life-5-fitness-benchmarks-a-man-must-master/

We are a brotherhood. So feel free to ask any questions you may have.

And, plateaus are a sign that there is some tweak to be done in exercise or diet, so, do think about it well.

I definitely have the survival mindset when it comes to gauging my fitness. Since I am a woman, something I am particularly concerned about is being able to fight off an assailant (or more than one, but working on 1 right now). A lot of my goals have to do with survival -- one of them is even to survive the zombie apocalypse!

As far as my plateau, I have two working theories. Both seem somewhat obvious (at least to me):

1) Though I've tried to keep up with TKD on my own, it's been really difficult. Without learning, without having someone there to teach me something new, I end up just doing the same thing over and over again. This usually ends up with me getting frustrated and getting bogged down in negativity. I was ALWAYS feeling worse after TKD than I was before I went in. Like, crying "I suck at everything" worse. So I decided to put that aside 'till I got back home and could get to school.

2) The first six months or so, I never ate nuts. I had never eaten nuts before, so I didn't really try them. I was pretty strictly meat, fruits, and veggies. When I got to Chicago and was having trouble staying satisfied until lunch, I looked for something else. I tried almond butter. Holy shit, I love almond butter. I eat almond butter on apples every morning for breakfast, sometimes for lunch and dinner also. I am eating a LOT of nuts. I think this is contributing in part to me not being able to finish off the rest of the weight. I bought my last pound (yes, I buy it BY THE POUND) yesterday, and will hopefully be able to put it aside when I get home.

So those are two things I will fix upon arriving home. I will get back to my regular taekwondo classes and continue to kick ass. I will also put aside the almond butter.

I was also thinking about starting rock climbing.

See, the thing is, I don't like -- and, I think ultimately don't believe in -- "working out." In the traditional sense. This stems from the idea that I can't do anything I don't like to do. I like to build skills, I like to learn things. I need a certain amount of mental stimulation. So most of my exercise is built around that.Almost every time I've tried "working out" in the past, I've ended up feeling worse and worse about myself and my skills, even as I was getting better. It's just not something that I enjoy.

One of the things I am trying to figure out is whether or not the above ^^ is an excuse or legitimate reason. If it's a legit reason, then I've found a workaround (doing sports and the like), but if it's an excuse I need to figure out why I'm making it.

Paddy, welcome! I'm heading over to your post after this. Thanks for coming over to say hi to a fellow newb.

[tsuchinoko92]

It's no excuse dracopervicax, it is just your style.

Personally I don't like working out either, rather, I treat it like a game where I want to get a higher score or performance.

About Tae Kwon do, why not keep practicing the basics? They are quite effective and practical.

Well, if it's survival what you train for, keep at it and find practical ways to apply what you learn.

[namelesswonder]

Definitely feeling the same about "working out". I want to be able to move practically and efficiently and sometimes at high speeds, all while looking good =P