Well here I am

[SunnyBunny]

Hi everyone I figured I would introduce myself and share my story so far.

We all have our reasons for wanting to get into shape and be healthy. Most of the time it’s a selfish one. But let’s start with some back story I am 36 years old (although I look a lot younger) and I have 2 kids. One is 16 and the other is 5.
I have walked everywhere my whole life and thought nothing of it (we couldn't afford a car). I would average about 6 miles a day and did track and field (sprints and shot-put) in high school, as well as cheerleading (I was a lifter). I did a lot of camping and hiking as well. I did the running mainly because my older brother did.
The women of my family come from farm stock. We average about 5'6" and have always been scale heavy. I think my lightest was about 160lbs and that was at maybe 15/16 years old. I have always been able to carry a lot of weight and had large legs with a big tush. I looked healthy and muscular, although the girls I knew were always on the skinny side. It wasn't easy because I had a pretty negative image of myself or rather a lack of image. I wasn't happy, but not really unhappy either. I didn't think about my body unless someone brought it up. How I look in my mind is not what I see/saw in the mirror.

So fast forward - I fall in love at 18 and start a relationship the lasted over 12 years. I had my oldest and it was good. Never thought about my body in either positive or negative. My then husband and I would walk in the city on the weekends. Every day I would walk 6 miles to and from work. We ate healthy enough. Weight started sort of falling off. Then we split, I moved back home. I didn't eat. Not because of weight issues but because of a mental thing I had convinced myself of. I would take food off my plate to make sure my son ate. I made sure everyone else had food before me and when I did eat it was little so we wouldn't be a burden. Finally move out to my own place, money tight, still not eating but son is. Then meet another guy - have another baby. This time it’s weird - start to feel self-conscious about how I Iook. Feeling too heavy and dragging. But I realize the relationship is falling apart and can't do anything about it. So one day I wake up and figure I want to be better.

As the universe does for me bump into a friend from high school. He's looking really good. He starts telling me how after he broke up with his girlfriend 3 years ago he started working out and changed everything. He dug himself out of the pit and has lost I think something like 100lbs. He seems a lot happier, so we talk about that for a while. He says he want to do competitions next year; I offer to do the research for him (learning new things are a weakness of mine-especially if it helps someone out). So I get interested and say how I would love to try it too - but that I would like to get more flexible first. He says if I get into the gym I will be a beast. Huh???
He says how he remembers in school how I would train in the gym. I didn't ever talk to anyone and always seemed to be challenging myself. I was just so focused - he said it’s one of the things that inspired him when he started working out. Some old picture he saw of me from school in the gym. Focused.

I will tell you - when I did work out in the gym I did love it. It was something I really enjoyed because it was me time and I felt like I really did something. I always had this running image of Wonder Woman, Lady Death and Red Sonja. They were the women I looked up to. As my uncle always said - I am an amazon. I will NEVER be a little 50lb twig. So don't try - because all it will do is hurt me in the long run. For a long time it kind of hurt my feelings - but then I realized he was right.
This is how I am built, my body is the collective culmination of generations of men and women who worked hard and survived a lot. Although I have a few extra layers of protective fat I am pretty strong and muscular. I know it’s there - so I set myself a goal. By my birthday which is in May - 6 months from now I will be an Amazon. I will be stronger and faster and hopefully if I can, serviceable in something (can I say how I have a weakness for spear/sword fighting and archery).

I am not doing it for anyone else but myself - no that’s not true for my sons as well. My lovey 6'4" red haired gamer son will know it can be done and we can be healthy. That my little 5 yo bag on energy will actually be able to run and have me chase him - I want to tire him out. Then just maybe someone else will notice.

 

[yadz]

Welcome to the rebellion! Sounds like you're going to be an amazing warrior in no time flat.

[SunnyBunny]

thanks for the welcome - doing what I can.

[Guest]

A fellow Amazon Welcome welcome!

I know exactly what you mean, about not being built to be a 50lb twig. I doubt I will ever get under 200 pounds, and even if I did I wouldn't look right.

It's funny, a lot of what you wrote I see in myself. You're inspiring Sincerely, I felt a bloodlust to go grab a claymore and chop a tree down or something.

You can achieve what you set out to. You have the will, you have the history. You just need to get your foot in the door. You need to kick that door off its hinges and send it flying into the darkness.

You can do it!