lifelong Lewis Barnavelt

[icecreamaholic]

Anyone here not familiar with my obscure 70s children's horror novel series reference should know that Lewis Barnavelt is a lifelong fat kid who hates exercising and loves cookies. 

 

Backstory:

 

So, while I'm not a 12 year old boy in 1950s Michigan cowering in the face of deep, dark evil, I am a lifelong fat kid who hates exercising and loves cookies.

 

26, always somewhere between a size 14-18, I'm not really super fat, I look good in my clothes (which are increasingly hard to shop for) and I'm moderately attractive, but I've never been fit.

 

I always hated sports in school, frankly it was probably because I just hated school, I was a huge nerd and alternative in a way that never fit quite in with the other alternative kids, and am one of those people who really just was waiting to be grown up. Team sports, summer camp, that stuff always just made me miserable, I was never any good at it and I didn't like the atmosphere of forced fun. As I grew up I discovered what I actually enjoy, cooking, eating, and booze. 

 

I'm a professional chef and wine consultant. I bake wedding cakes and went to French cooking school and love butter. I am a qualified wine expert and have worked in wine for years as well, it's always one or the other, food or wine.

 

It's my life, it's my career, I take so much pleasure from it and I can't give it up or else I would literally have to start all over and do something I'm not as passionate about. 

 

I need to be able to find a way to do what I do, but eat better, drink less, and find pleasure in exercise. 

 

Why I want to get fit:

 

Well besides obvious lifelong female body drama, I really want to be stronger. It's funny, but before finding this website it had never really occurred to me. I've been stronger and less strong at various points. Carrying around cases of wine and being on your feet all day in the kitchen are both decent exercise, and I have tried (and eventually failed) at work out programs (Curves worked for a while but I can't stomach the thought of giving them my money, evil empire and all, and personal training, expensive and boring). 

 

I've noticed that when I am stronger I am more alert, and generally better at everything. Recently I've been doing a bunch of DIY and have noticed that I pretty much suck, I get worn out really quickly, I can't lift heavy things for any length of time, and I'm frankly pretty useless. I moved from Europe back to the USA and have been driving all the time, not getting my usual walking-as-transportation exercise in, and am just becoming increasingly blubbery.

 

So the facts are these: I can't stop consuming alcohol entirely, I can't eliminate flour and sugar entirely from my diet. This is my livelihood. What can I do? 

 

Vague Goals:

 

Welcome to Weight Loss with Icecreamaholic! 

 

• eat less
• drink less
• smoke less
• be prettier
• stop being fat
• don't be lazy
• start something and do it for a month and spend a lot of money on it and then get lazy and give up

 

New Motivation:

 

I want to be stronger, I want to feel fitter, and obviously I want to look hotter.

 

I'd love to have rockin guns and learn more about butchery (you need to be strong to cut up a cow). 

 

I want to be able to actually carry the 4-tier wedding cake once it's finished, without needing help and/or being terrified of dropping it. 

 

I want to be better in bed (is that a legit reason? I think it definitely is). 

 

I want to be proud of my lifestyle and my body, and treat both with more respect. 

 

I want to use alcohol in moderation, enjoy it for the reasons I love it, because it tastes delicious, and makes food taste better, and not to get drunk. 

 

I want to enjoy exercising and being healthy. 

 

New Goals:

 

March 24th 2014 - Got a ski week booked, I want to get up in the morning and ski all day, with only one small break in the morning, lunch, and one small break in the afternoon. 

 

May 5th 2014 - I want to fit into the clothes that I've hung onto from the millisecond that I was fit for 3 months and decided to shop, a lot. I want to fit into the dress that I wore for my senior prom. 

 

June 14th 2014 - I am making a wedding cake for my cousin, I want to be able to lift it on my own, with ease. An average wedding cake is about 50lbs, so I'd like to be able to lift 75lbs. 

 

So Rebels, is this do-able? Any tips for going paleo-with-allowance? I am all about real, organic food and the diet makes sense to me, but realistically because of my work I need to be flexible. How can I be flexible and in control and not slide off the wagon? 

 

I'd love any feedback I can get, I plan on making the community a staple of my diet. Accountability, it's a bitch, eh? 

 

I'll post pictures when I'm not at a cafe in the middle of nowhere waiting for a train for two hours drinking beer cause they stopped serving food. You see my problem? NO WILL POWER! Oh well at least they don't have ice cream. 

[JPrev]

Sounds like you're approaching all of this with a level head.  I don't follow paleo, so I can't give you specific advice on that.  However, I *can* give you this, which is all that matters: eat less than you burn, and you will lose body fat.  In terms of fat loss, that's all you need to do.  So if there are things you don't want to avoid eating, you don't necessarily have to be worried.  If fat loss is the goal, then the only thing that matters is whether or not you're in a responsible caloric deficit.  If you were 100% paleo but *not* in a deficit, you would put on fat.