Hola / Hello / Oi

[quixotic]

Hello everyone! I've been following Nerd Fitness for a while now, but I've never made an account or posted on the forums. I've been struggling with weight and self-esteem issues my entire life, and have had a rough weight-loss journey. I'm trying to push myself to get started again. My name is Jenny and I live in Wisconsin, USA, and I'm 5 feet 1 inch tall and 21 years old.  Most of my family is overweight, except for a few. We love celebrating with food and beer (though I personally don't drink a lot). I've struggled a lot with depression, an anxiety disorder, a low self-esteem, and emotional eating. My highest weight was 210 lbs.

 

A few summers ago I finally decided to try losing weight, and in around 4 months I lost 30+ pounds. And then I started losing weight more slowly... and eventually stopped losing at all, because I started making excuses to not eat well and not go to the gym. This went on for a few months... and then I left the country to study abroad in Spain.

 

I flew off for four months to Bilbao, Pais Vasco, Spain. (The city is nice, I guess, but I had issues with my host family and it rained literally every day so I grew to be bitter against it) I don't know if you know anything about Spain, but they eat a LOT. Especially for lunch. The meals were good (except for the steamed cauliflower which I DESPISED yet I had to eat it SO MUCH) but also there was just so much food.... and the chocolate (and NUTELLA) was so good that I gained 10 pounds while I was there. We traveled around Europe a lot as well and I just wanted to try all that I could before I left.

 

When I came back from Spain, all diet and exercise was thrown out the window. That's where I am today. A few summers ago, I went from 210 to 165 pounds. I am now back to around 185 pounds, and I'm hating myself. I'm studying abroad again this January, in Mexico for three weeks, and then next semester I'm going to be graduating. I keep making myself goals (by thanksgiving I will have lost 15 lbs, etc) but I keep watching my deadline dates come and go. I know what I need to do, but I need the motivation to do it. And I feel like I should be motivated, and of course I want to, but I'm not doing it. I guess I just need help finding my willpower.

 

Again, sorry for the long post. I enjoy writing, haha. I could have said so much more, you have no idea. A few ending things about me, I have been learning Spanish for 10 years and I just started learning (Brazilian) Portuguese about a year and a half ago. I love languages and would love to be a translator/localization expert in the future, once I feel more fluent in the languages, especially Portuguese. I love traveling and one of the main reasons I want to lose weight/get healthier is so it's easier for me to do that.

 

Wishing you all the best!

 

Here's a pic of me (yeah, yeah, I know I should have probably picked a more ~artistic~ t-shirt for this pic... it was a freakin' long trek to this place though and it was hot. also it's a great movie) in San Juan de Gaztelugatxe, Pais Vasco, Spain. This was my "backyard" while I was studying abroad I like this photo because it's one of the very few in which I'm smiling with my teeth, and it's an actual genuine smile because the friend that was taking this photo kept making me do "artsy" poses...