Restarting again for the third time.

[ColoQ]

Hi!

TL: DR...   Fat Kid Grows up, becomes fat adult, embarrassment, Weight Loss Surgery, Complications, Diet Change + Exercise, relapse to Where I started. Starting Over.

Not sure where to start, so here are some facts: I'm a 30-Year old Geek Kid. I live in Las Vegas.  I was always the "big kid" even in elementary school.  I've been very active professionally, and personally - but that has meant having a multitude of sedentary hobbies, RPGs, Books, Programming, Tech Jobs, Video Gaming etc... For the longest time my body was the frail hollow shell that allowed my mind to move around to the next required place or interesting thing. 

 

5 years ago, I realized I was so big I was having trouble doing *basic* things ( I could go into detail, but frankly it was intensely embarrassing). This was a total low point.  I figured I needed to do something. Something drastic.  

 

That drastic thing was that I got the Lap-band procedure 5 years ago, and it started to help. Well.. It started to make it such that I could only eat a liquid diet for three weeks after an adjustment. I worked on it with my Doctors for a while, but they never really helped. I was losing weight but I felt terrible the entire time. By the time I stopped trying to work with the doctors ,  I was at a more comfortable (yet still dangerously unhealthy) weight. I maintained that weight with just a standard diet for a while 

 

2 years ago I started training for Mud Runs or Obstacle Course Races (warrior dash and the like). Giving myself a goal really helped again. I got down to pants sizes I hadn't seen since High school. I would train / run 3 - 4 times a week. I maintained a paleo diet, but I started having to supplement it with starchy foods otherwise I'd feel like crap after a training session. I did Warrior Dash, ran a few 5Ks. generally had fun. 

 

Then I stopped training. Kept eating starches, and eventually gave up Paleo. Now.. I'm close to the weight I was at before I got the lap band. ... Mentally I'm a little crushed TBH.   so here I am. I need to reset, restart and move forward.

 

Learning to pick myself up again...