Commercial fitness thread

[Da_Nuke]

ITT: We laugh at commercial fitness crap.

 

The other day I browsed the group sessions at this family fitness club that has opened like 5 branches in my city where fitness is for soccer moms who want to remain slim and toned.

 

Apparently, the hot thing of today is "core workout" and "functional strength". This particularly struck me because as you know weight lifting is the internet's favorite sport, and I have certainly heard about "functional strength" before and I always thought it was the massive strength you gain from Stronglifts or Rippletits which you'd use on a strongman kind of competition, but apparently, this has been repurposed into "strong enough to carry everyday tasks but not too strong, otherwise you'll become a hulking monster like Magnús Ver Magnússon". Also, to achieve a stable and perfectly toned core you need to do stability exercises, which is why I've been seeing reports of so many clueless people doing Bosu ball squats and weird stability exercises.

 

Another thing I'll never get tired of is the "cross training" classes. I'm not a fan of Crossfit due to the low entry bar for certified trainers, the seemingly random WODs and the widespread culture of danger. And as if that was not enough... here there are countless gym owners who want maximum profit for minimum investment and apparently they think they could be using their Crossfit certification money to rock a brand new iPhone 5S instead of blowing it on the certification that gives you the right to sport the Crossfitâ„¢ brand. So, what do they do? They come up with their own routine and call it "cross training".

[Machete]

Meh. I give paying customers what they want. Give them a workout that will make them feel that "burn" for days on the abdominal region, so they think it's working. Put them under the "fighters' workout" to make them feel hardcore. Work them in seemingly-random complicated protocols of unorthodox movements so they feel "smoked", enough that they won't remember how do it themselves, which will in turn keep them coming back. I've been told once that I am "fitness-whoring", and maybe I am, but bills do have to be paid.

 

All these terms, core, functional strength, cross-training, they used to be specific labels that eventually became more generalized over the years with advances in exercise science and workout gimmicks. They're very broad terms now that one can technically slap on almost anything. Mostly everyone in the gym (or out) is generally clueless about training anyway (even if some do happen to accidentally stumble upon winning combinations and turn into beasts).

[sylph]

Meh. I give paying customers what they want. Give them a workout that will make them feel that "burn" for days on the abdominal region, so they think it's working. Put them under the "fighters' workout" to make them feel hardcore. Work them in seemingly-random complicated protocols of unorthodox movements so they feel "smoked", enough that they won't remember how do it themselves, which will in turn keep them coming back. I've been told once that I am "fitness-whoring", and maybe I am, but bills do have to be paid.

This makes me glad that 1. I don't have a trainer and 2. if I had one, it is not you. I'd rather some one give me real, useful information, teach me the reasoning behind WHY we were doing certain things, and work toward my goals as a helpful, knowledgeable collaborator, rather than confuse me so much that I had no choice but to keep going to them.

 

Mostly everyone in the gym (or out) is generally clueless about training anyway (even if some do happen to accidentally stumble upon winning combinations and turn into beasts).

So rather than teach them and set them on the right path, confuse the shit out of them and prey on their ignorance.

If this is actually your motivation, I'd use a worse term than "fitness-whoring."

[Machete]

This makes me glad that 1. I don't have a trainer and 2. if I had one, it is not you. I'd rather some one give me real, useful information, teach me the reasoning behind WHY we were doing certain things, and work toward my goals as a helpful, knowledgeable collaborator, rather than confuse me so much that I had no choice but to keep going to them.

 

So rather than teach them and set them on the right path, confuse the shit out of them and prey on their ignorance.

If this is actually your motivation, I'd use a worse term than "fitness-whoring."

 

Haha, Well, that was actually a satirical post. (You know, like The Onion.)

 

I don't charge people I train; I do it because I enjoy seeing them improve, I enjoy telling people "I told you so", and I believe in fitness.

 

However, every joke is based upon some truth, otherwise it would not be funny. Yes, this happens. Yes, I have been under an employer who instructed me to do so. And yes, this is "fitness-whoring" by definition - doing something (fitness-related) you don't believe in for the sake of monetary compensation. There was a time when I wanted to change the world. I wanted everyone to have an idea how to train intelligently. I wanted every gym to have more power racks than machines or preacher curl benches. I wanted everyone to stop using the term "toning". But one must come to terms with the fact that a lot of people do not want to be told what to do. It's usually (but not always) dudes. Gymming is like sex: you're apparently not a "man" unless you naturally know how to do it. Have you ever walked up to a man at the gym and told him "Hey, you're doing that wrong."? Probably not, and if you have, you were probably not taken seriously. And if I do it to a woman she will automatically think I am hitting on her, because guys usually are. Almost nobody at the gym knows what s/he is doing, but they are there anyway because they think they know what to do. "The worst program in the world performed pedal-to-the-metal will bring on more results than the best possible program done half-assed." (Christian Thibaudeau)

 

For the record, if you did work with me, it's my way or the highway. An assessment of your goals, lifestyle, and conditions is probably the most input I receive, and maybe some personal feedback for on-the-spot fine-tuning. I don't offer motivation, that's all on you. (Maybe some condescending comments here and there.) All I offer are information and instruction. If you don't like my method, if you think it's boring, there are literally thousands of other trainers out there to work with. I have given up on a lot of people who didn't have the drive or the patience or the attention span to work with me. Am I a bad trainer? Probably. My interpersonal skills could use a lot of work. But I did have my roommate drop 25 pounds on a workout regimen of 7 days of Skyrim a week for one.

[Machete]

Everything You Know About Fitness Is a Lie by Daniel Duane | Men's Journal

 

A very relevant must-read article about pretty much every fitness snob's journey.

[Oramac]

Rippletits

 

I have no idea what this is, and I'm so tempted to google it, but I'm at work and I can't afford to lose my job.   lol.