Djinn's Battle Log

[Djinn]

Rebel's Name: Djinn

Gender: F

Height: 6’2â€

Weight: 185 lbs 

Race: Night Elf

Profession: Scout?

Level: 0

 

The specific, motivating, overarching goals I’ve set for myself:

• A back sexy enough to sport a large, impressive Beardsley-Ricketts style tattoo of my design. (Pull ups! Yes!)
• The ability to run as far and as long as I would ever want or need. I’m thinking ten miles is about as far or as long as I would ever want or need to run.
• A methodical headspace, which I’m so much closer to having (for now) than ever before. Improvement will look like calm, composed academic and creative output (school and the aforementioned tattoo).
• A kitchen-centered diet made of wholesome goodness.
• Steady improvement with bodyweight routines, both beginner and advanced.
• The ability to bike the terrible and steep hill that stands between me and school.
• Become a commuter cyclist.
• Mastery over whatever magic will translate these accomplishments into a happier life. I will probably be figuring this out on here, so that like-minded people may perchance benefit from my overthinking.

Such goals must of course be broken down into tiny bite-sized pieces. I know the next challenge is a bit off, but I’m going to start directing myself towards that end now. I have a very long warm up time.

Goals for Challenge 1:

1. A methodical headspace comes from tea and not coffee for me. So I shall be decreasing my coffee intake, ending up at “enjoying an occasional cup,†while upping my intake of green, white, black, red and mate.

2. Endeavor to bike to work once a week, even if it’s on a day I don’t need to be there, just to start getting my head around it.

3. Complete beginning bodyweight workouts three times a week, working up to completing two sets of everything except lunges.

4. Brief fun runs three times a week. Talking 20 minutes here.

5. Complete a solid draft of an article I need to write for school.

 

(I’m not in a position where I can comfortably modify my diet right now, and it isn’t that terrible anyway. I’ll do that for the next challenge.)  Hope this isn’t too much! My thinking here is that 1 isn’t that hard because tea is awesome, and helps me think more clearly which will help with number 5, which HAS to happen. I can complete 2 any morning of the week, which gives me ample opportunity to start conditioning myself to that change without excessive mental suffering. I ordered a pair of Vibrams this morning, so I’m all excited for 4, which won’t take that long but will get me used to going out in the morning, and I’ve already been doing bodyweight workouts twice a week, so I’m just going to be making it a bit tougher for myself.  

 Any thoughts or insights anyone has are welcome!

 

Pre-challenge prep day 1

I sanded and spackled my living room – arm workout?

Ordered new running shoes!

Drank only one cup of coffee, then switched to Oolong in the afternoon.

Got into a crummy mood, wrote and meditated until I felt better.

[Djinn]

Pre-challenge Prep Day 2
 
Monday and Tuesday are my busy days this term.
 
Here's the breakdown:
1. Stretched in the morning
2. Had three cups of coffee
3. Had two cups of green tea (between the two, I recognize that I'm getting gobs of caffeine...)
4. Ate rather badly - I will probably start paying closer attention to this next week.
5. Walked a lot.
 
I'm trying to get my head in the game in a proper sort of way. Recently, I haven't been taking as care of myself as well as I normally try to - I blame emotional distress. Anyway, realizing that I want to make these changes means I have to slow down and look at ways to make these things happen without suffering...much. We shall see what this ends up looking like.

[Stonie]

Sounds like you've got a good solid plan here, Djinn! (love the name by the way) You may benefit from training as a druid when you join a guild next challenge, with your love of meditation and the scholarly arts. Most people like to mix it up and jump between guilds for each challenge, so don't feel boxed in by your class choice

 

I look forward to seeing what you can accomplish!

[Djinn]

Thanks, Teagarden. I love the title of your battle log - very catchy.  I thought about training as a druid right away, so I might go that route for the next challenge.

[Djinn]

Pre-Challenge Prep Day 3

 

I worked all day, from 7 am to 7:30 pm, however:

1. I took the stairs multiple times, in an effort to fit in some exercise.

2. I ate well - salads galore.

3.Then there was ice cream.

 

I put some thought to the headspace issues I've been having, and came upon the idea that the troubles I've been having with getting myself to focus on the paper I need to draft is due to a lack of direction. This isn't that shocking, since I often toil for the sake of the toiling without having a firm goal in mind. I do things because I enjoy them, and not to obtain or achieve anything. In many ways, I think this approach serves me well. But in this particular instance, with fitness goals and other long term goals, things that might take a while to achieve, I think I need to figure out some better way to conceptualize the future.

This is antithetical to my nature, so I'm not even sure if visualization or being goaled-centered would even help me. Or if it's helpful at all...Thoughts?

[Stonie]

I am pretty much the same. I tend to give up on something because the goal is too hard, and just do things for funsies. I've started to craft my life around the fun things and make my goals the fun things I wanna do. It comes back around to "do the exercise/project/work/ you want to" also; I still have no idea what I ultimately want to do but I'm doing things I think I would like and that would benefit my life and make me happy. 

[Djinn]

I like how you summed that up at the end! There's a lot of wisdom in that; I run into a lot of people in my profession who are just doing what they think they need to do to be happy, but never actually ask themselves if their current course of action will make them happy eventually.

What's weird is that I've also done things with the idea that it would make me happy, had it blow up in my face terribly, but still been happier overall as a result of the experience. I can't tell if it's because of cognitive dissonance (like, I'm convincing myself that I'm happy about the change) or because happy is relative (like, I'm happier now than I was *while* things were blowing up, so it feel *amazing*). OR if it's because happy things are cumulative. I'm hoping all three can be exploited for maximum happiness!

[Djinn]

Pre-Challenge Prep Day 4

 

Another really long day, getting caught up with work:

 

1. Drank only coffee and no tea.

2. Came up with two possible research ideas for the article

3. Meditated with particular efficacy

[Stonie]

I think people tend to get stuck in a rut of doing what they assume they should be doing, rather then doing what they want to be.

 

"I work 5 days a week because I have to buy all the things because they have a small chance of making me happy."
"I go out drinking because everyone else does even though I always wake up feeling like shite the next day."

 

And spend their lives dreaming about all the things they could be doing. Just do the things. I do the same thing with my job; I do it because "it's my job and I should just suck it up" But it's so depressing to be there. I could just change it but I haven't because people assume you grow up, get out of school and throw yourself into 5 days of working your ass off so you can have a weekend to recover so you can go back to work.

 

Work to live, don't live to work.

 

Anyway, you do have to experience the bad things so all the good things feel all the more awesome when you do them. 

[Djinn]

Pre-Challenge Prep Day 5

 

1. Fleshed out one of my ideas as a possibility for that paper

2. Did my first bodyweight workout since mid-january (one set...don't want to overdo it)

3. Ate quite well all day until now, since I am currently noshing on multi-grain tortilla chips...salved in proccessed cheese product...mostly due to #4

4. Feeling a bit blue this afternoon, so I didn't get much else done. Just took a nap.

 

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

[Djinn]

Pre-Challenge Prep Day 6

 

1. Went for a quick walk to get my feet used to the new vibrams

2. Stretched

3. Ate weirdly today. Late breakfast burrito, m&ms for lunch (I lined 20 of them up on my laptop as a reward for each paper I graded...), fried chicken for dinner. That's an unusually bad day for me! It's shocking to see it all written out like that.

[Djinn]

Pre-Challenge Prep Day 8

 

1. I went for a walk, with some light jogging mixed in.

2. Went grocery shopping, stocked up on good stuff.

3. Began gathering research materials for my article.

4. Wrote a post to refocus my energies for the week ahead... ;-)

 

Since I'm insanely busy with school, I'm going to experiment, this week, with the idea of scheduling my workouts.

Keep in mind that I've already been dabbling with bodyweight workouts, have been a runner in the past, and am diligent about stretching. I'm just trying to pull everything together for the first time, learning to be consistent.

 

Monday - Beginner Bodyweight Workout (1 set)

Tuesday - Walk/Run (running 1/4 the time) for 1 mile (I cumulatively walk about a mile, at least, each day)

Wednesday - Beg. BWW (1 set)

Thursday - Walk a mile at a brisk pace

Friday - Rest

Saturday - Walk/Run (same as Tuesday)

Sunday - Beg. BWW (1 set)

 

I believe this looks like a schedule I can accomplish. My concern is that sometimes I get dreary and lethargic, losing sight of what I want to accomplish overall. It's something about "living in the moment" (to put it nicely) in my case... Even next week is too far off to really visualize. I'm trying to focus on the idea that being fit will give me more agency to be more spontaneous, more confident, you know, freer. I'm very good at visualizing things, so I wish I could visualize myself as a fit human being, but it's always a hazy, shifting visual...merits further investigation.

 

Hooray for the beginning of the challenge tomorrow! I wonder what I can accomplish?

[Djinn]

1.1

 

Today was a pretty excellent day!

 

I completed the bodyweight workout I had scheduled, just one set, but I got pretty winded (I am weak, weak, weak).

I had more than four servings of vegetables, and plan to eat a banana for dessert. I don't really like fruit.

Tomorrow is a running day! Woohoo! So excited!

[Harika]

You dislike fruit? B-b-but sugar! Wait to eat bananas until they have a lot of brown dots?

[Djinn]

I know! I have the worst relationship with fruit. It's always so disappointing. I need to think of solutions...

I like pomegranates, but they're a lot of trouble to eat. I like lemons, mangoes,and grapefruit. Maybe I have scurvy.

Berries are okay. Not blueberries though (shudder).

[Harika]

Agreed on the blueberries. 

 

Strawberries that are ripe, otherwise what a waste. I took an almost over-ripe banana, two big strawberries, cut them all up, then added 1/3c oatmeal (and 2/3c water) and microwaved for 2min this morning. Also I learned to take a bite of white chocolate (I dislike milk and hate dark), stash it on one side of my mouth, and eat blah strawberries on the other side.

 

LEMON ROSEMARY CHICKEN

is magic. 

 

Pomegranates are easier once you figure out using a bowl of water to separate the bits of skin from seeds and to do it mindlessly while watching/listening to TV, news, or a book(just listening for this one). 

[Djinn]

1.2

I'm posting the day after, but I still wanted to make a note of the day.

I did eat my three servings of vegetables and my one serving of fruit (a small banana, had to choke down the last bite - I may not meet the fruit challenge).

In addition, I had pizza for lunch and a beer with dinner, and a bag of M&Ms to stay away during my evening class. I'm not happy with those things, even though they're little things, so I'm going to try to find some alternative to my favorite things (namely, pizza, beer, and chocolate). I think so long as I don't have beer every night, it's okay once in a while.

 

However, I use chocolate as a crutch when I'm falling asleep during something important (like a graduate seminar course - it's really funny to me beause I'll keep trying to take notes even though I've technically dozed off for a second, and my handwriting gets all nonsensical and tiny). I also use M&Ms to lure myself into grading papers (which I have to do pretty frequently), with the one candy per paper rule.

Can anyone suggest alternatives to this use of candy as a crutch? Like, an alternative treat or sugar jolt?

 

I did go for my scheduled run yesterday - it was mostly walking, didn't want to push myself too much in shoes I'm still getting used to. That's why I gave myself a whole six weeks to work up to steadily running a mile.

 

Also, I finally took my starting measurments.

Neck - 14"

Bust - 42"

Arm - 13.5"

Waist - 33.75"

Hips - 40"

Thigh - 25.25"

 

Tonight, a bodyweight workout!

[Harika]

Apples and peanut butter. 

 

Both have sugar, but it is wet, you can choose tart or sweet apples, and it has protein. Just try not to snack on PB when the apple is gone. One slice per paper, just be careful not to drop it on the paper, should work. (Rule- no eating while grading, so it has to be between?) Peeling/cutting may help keep you awake in classes too. 

 

I tried making small paper cranes in a night class with printer paper from recycle bins. I started to enjoy leaving them in classrooms as I left.

[Djinn]

1.3

 

Bodyweight workout accomplished...yesterday.

I also walked a mile this morning, so I'm on track so far.

 

And I was thinking about motivation again, and reading through the posts on here, and decided to give some more thought to motivation.

They call it "intrinsic" motivation, the part that I'm missing so far: the love of thing for its own sake.

So I'm brainstorming things I might like to do with my newfound fitness - activities I might like to pursue. I like running, luckily, but it's more fun for me to have something i intend to do with it, I think.

 

Eating was better yesterday - I notice that when I get busy in the day and don't eat enough, I am more peckish at night.

I'm totally going to take an apple and some peanut butter with me for the next long class, Harika. Good suggestion.

[Harika]

Have you noticed that your interest in drinks/water is also stronger at night? That happens to me and since I tend to eat later meals I wonder if it has to do with food consumption or something else.

[Djinn]

Have you noticed that your interest in drinks/water is also stronger at night? That happens to me and since I tend to eat later meals I wonder if it has to do with food consumption or something else.

I've noticed I'm thirsty first thing in the morning, so I drink a lot of water when I wake up. You might be on the right track, following the food - I eat my heaviest meal for breakfast (eggs, bacon, avocado, beans, yogurt (not all at once, but definitely a heavy morning meal)), usually eat a light lunch, then have a big salad with some protein for dinner around 6:30 at night. I drink water, tea and coffee throughout the day, but don't get very thirsty at night.

 

1.4

Today was my rest day! I'm on track for my workouts so far this week, so I'm happy about that.

But I had a slice of pizza for lunch.  Veggie pizza, does that redeem me?

I did meet my vegetable quota for the day because I had a salad with chicken for breakfast, like a crazy person. Then I had a salad for dinner. I will likely eat a small bowl of ice cream later tonight.

 

I'm still not meeting my fruit goals, but I've easily surpassed my vegetable goals all week. Those aren't hard though - I love me some vegetables. Sometimes people overthink vegetables, in my opinion. I am really lazy, so here's how I do it:

I sauté spinach and mushrooms into my morning omelet.

I make it a point to make one of my daily meals a salad, and I put all kinds of vegetables in it: broccoli, mushrooms, celery, onion, cucumber, and spinach or romaine. Other stuff as available.

I buy spinach in bags, and I buy romaine hearts. I know romaine isn't the most nutritious, but it's so darn crunchy. When I'm really on my game, I chop up all the vegetables at once, and then it's much easier to make the next couple of salads. I make my own salad dressings, usually either olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper, or Greek yogurt and mayo mixture if I'm feeling like a heartier salad that day. I sometimes marinade chickpeas and add those into my salad at lunch, or I add black beans. I know beans aren't paleo, but I've noticed that I feel better about life when I eat them, so I eat a little daily serving of them, like an eighth of a cup.

I make a lot of heavy sauces, often with coconut milk or a tomato base, and so I slice up bell peppers, zucchini, onions, broccoli, and other veggies that I have on hand, fry those up and simmer them into the sauce for about 10 minutes.

I often buy veggies that can be eaten by themselves, like asparagus, cauliflower, or brussel sprouts (or zucchini, squash, green beans, all kinds of things), coat them in olive oil, garlic, red pepper and salt, then roast them on a foil-lined pan at 400ish for 30 - 45ish minutes.

I also try to add another vegetable recipe every week or two, just to try new things. Leeks, fennel, kale, and chard were all worked into my rotation this way. Or by going through the supermarket and picking up things that were on sale, just to try them.

 

But none of this solves my fruit issue! One can only eat so many apples. I literally *hate* fruit.

I'm trying to think of a way to make legitimate, fruit-based desserts. I hate skipping dessert at night, my heart calls out for it, and I usually end up eating ice cream or candy. So I'm going to set myself toward that goal next. I'm thinking smoothies might be a good starting place.

[Stonie]

Fruit is good if you need an energy hit, but I don't think your diet is going to suffer greatly if you don't eat heaps. I'm a fiend for bananas, so I eat heaps, but they also help me cut down my intake of caffeine (to which I am terribly addicted) during the day. You could mash them or blend them into smoothies or something so that you don't notice you're eating them?

[Harika]

Why not just find other means of getting the sweet? For me, meat seems to just about equal sugar, and peanut butter has a lot of sugar. You like vegetables, so maybe dessert can be celery with peanut butter?

[Djinn]

1.5 & 1.6

 

Didn't do my bodyweight workout as planned, but I painted my living room on Saturday, and moved my run to Sunday.

Painting my living room proved to me, well and truly, how out of shape I am. I was a mess halfway through - aching back, stiff shoulders, no energy...

 

My run went well - I'm getting a boost from the C25K app - it's very helpful, though I may repeat a few days.

 

And I have a topic and title for my big paper, and I've grabbed a good starting selection of sources. Woo!

 

But there's another thing that's giving me trouble... I'm eating a lot more crap than I used to.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend of three years over the holidays, and while I'm pleased to have done so, I still catch myself thinking about how mad I am, or how hurt I am, or something like that...and then I find myself with a handful of crackers or another slice of pizza or a bowl of ice cream.

I know it's emotional eating, and I know it isn't helping.  But I also knew that that this would happen - cutting back on calories brings all the most painful things up to the surface. I'm not so good at denying myself anything... so I'm just trying to be moderate, and then I feel lousy because I'm putting all this effort into working out, and making up all the calories in weepy bars of chocolate. (And then he wins! And it is like that! *grumble grumble*)

 

I think this is why I've been struggling so much with desserts and stuff. It's almost like the super logical, self-aware part of my brain is bound and gagged for the ten minutes it takes me to check out, eat like a wild thing, and then return. And I don't feel bad about it either. I'm just like "where's the next thing I can snack on?"...argh. I'm not usually like this. 

 

I'm hoping that getting it out here will help me be more accountable to myself in the future... Get it off my chest or something.

[Harika]

Perhaps you could make a list of "acceptable" snacks and try to keep the rest of it away from you/out of the kitchen.