Reflections... One year under the bar (Long)

[El Exorcisto]

I'm not usually one for much wooting, but a pretty important milestone is coming to pass in less than a week. About a year ago I had a fateful cell phone conversation with my wife. I had just worked a couple overtime shifts and had a few hundred to blow on something stupid. I had been wanting to lose some weight for a while, and my wife had always been the stereotypical lose-gainer. There I stood in the sporting goods section of Wally World, and the conversation went something like this:

 

El: If you wanted to get something to work out a home, would you get a bike or an eliptical?

Wife: Eliptical, deifnitely... I hate stationary bikes.

El: Ok, clear a spot in the bedroom. I'm buying one with my OT money.

Wife: That's great!

*End*

 

I get a helpful Wally World associate, and am informed that they are out of stock. Knowing that this impulse to get fit won't last long I ring my wife back up.

 

El: They don't have an eliptical in stock. I can buy the bike, or I can spend half the money and get a bench, bar, dumbbells, and plates.

Wife: Get the bench. I won't use the bike, and I know you'd be more into weights than cardio.

El: Ok, love you.

*End*

 

I struggled to get the parenthetically light bench down from the shelf, bought a cheap pinned hollow bar, a pair of spinlock DB handles, and about 60 pounds of plate weight. I got home, assembled it, and commenced leg extensions and ham curls on the "leg developer," benched, rowed, curled, you name it. I was gonna lift weight, the fat was going to melt away, and I was going to look like Brad Pitt from Fight Club. FUCK YEA!!!!

 

Fast forward 360 days. I weigh the same now as I did when I bought my first bench. I now have an Atlas power rack, a York incline bench, a Texas power bar, enough bumpers and iron to ballast a ship, and two Atlas stones peeking out from a blanket of snow. I also have at this writing a 325 pound squat, a 380 pound pull, and a pathetic 195 pound bench. In this past year, lessons have been learned. Lessons I'd like to share with all the new youngins joining me on the path.

 

1. You will not gain muscle and lose fat at the same time. Period. Pick your path and commit to it. Doing anything less than committing fully is just exercise, not training.

 

2. That garbage Wal-Mart bench, the standard bar, the spin-lock handles... Don't waste your money. If you are following even a half-assed program you will outstrip their value in very short order, even as a woman.

 

3. That guy you've seen in the gym, or on YouTube squatting enough weight to make the bar whip? He started out just like you. Don't put limits on where you can go.

 

4. Until you know how to move under load, never try to see how strong you are. If you don't have 1000 reps under your belt on the lifts that matter, your 1rm is dangerous at the least, and crippling at the worst. Once you hit 1000 and people have told you that you're not going to kill yourself, then stretch your legs and see where you sit. It's important to know, but not at the risk of injury, which leads into...

 

5. You will get hurt. You're going to tweak your back or get sore knees. Your wrists might bother you, or your elbows, who knows. Rippetoe said it best, that accumulated injuries are just proof you haven't been sitting on your ass. Work around them, work through them, prehab and rehab them, because they will happen.

 

6. Read all the things! T-Nation, EliteFTS, and Bodybuilding.com monopolized my life for the first few months. I learned so much by not having tunnel vision and listening to just one source. This means while Mehdi and Mark Rippetoe may have programs that work for newbies, they are not the be-all end-all of strength training. To the best of my knowledge neither have been on an Olympic podium, or the Olympia stage, or totalled elite. Beyond being a rank novice, there are better people to get advice from.

 

7. Gloves are for pussies.

 

8. Olympic weightlifting shoes make you squat better. You can tell yourself that you do fine in Chucks, but at the end of the day a velcro strap and 3/4" heel makes magic shit happen with a barbell on your back.

 

9. Everything that you do that makes you bigger or stronger is functional. I don't care if it is a set of incline flyes to build your bench or a deadlift so heavy your hands feel like they are separating at the wrist. No one has ever said "I'm too strong." Ever.

 

10. This will never end. If you commit to getting stronger, the idea of stagnating ends up being as incomprehensible as a Wal-Mart greeter finding the Higgs-Boson. My lifts are just starting to break what normal people are astonished by, but in the grand scheme they are hardly impressive. I don't even total a grand yet. When I do total 1k I'll want 1100, and to be able to load a bigger Atlas stone, and do heavier farmer's walks. None of this comes fast, and none of it comes easy. To the youngins here that want to stop being fat lazy slobs and do something, commit to this. You may continue to be a fat slob, but you'll drop the lazy and replace it with strong. When you've lifted twice your weight off the floor, committing to lose some fat is easy. Then you'll be a strong, ripped slob... At that point you can lose the slob part, too.

 

So here I sit, a year later, looking forward to another year under the bar. Hopefully in another 365 I'll still be between 185 and 190 but a hell of a lot leaner, a hell of a lot stronger, and a hell of a lot smarter than I am now. A year from now I still won't have an eliptical, that I can guarantee.

[Guzzi]

BEST. POST. EVER!!!!!!!!

 

You are the man, and your words of wisdom have been heeded my friend.

[Karl UK]

Nice post. Here's to the next 365.

 

I am testimony to point 5 !

 

Cheers

 

Karl

[SoftSoul]

You're awesome. This list needs to be posted in gyms nation-wide.

[Jaymul]

Superb post! Although I disagree with you on point #1 - it's possible but it sure as hell ain't easy!

3 is so, so true. Many people have seen my lifts, which aren't very impressive compared to people I train alongside, and said "I'd never be able to do that". They're dead wrong. It may take a while but it all starts with that one first step.

[INSAIYAN]

Inspiring post full of great information gained from experience!

[sandbagger]

Great post mate, thanks for sharing.

[ChristArtist]

love love love love love love love love this!!!

@wildross - he would love this....and I think, totally agree!

365 - in only 365 days...amazing!

thank you for sharing this!!!!

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[wildross]

Excellent and I agree 1000%. Any thing I would add is..find a competition and at least observe if not participate. You will be amazed at what you learn.

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[El Exorcisto]

My first strongman comp is in August and powerlifting meet is in October. Even with them so far out it brings a lot of focus into my training for sure.