Overweight and devestated

[asismomma]

Hi, I am Amanda full time employed CCO of a global mutual financial company, and mother of 1 beautiful 5 year old little girl.   I have struggled with my weight for most of my life, blame it on bad genes or simple laziness.  I cant keep up with my daughter who asked me the other day "mommy why is your tummy so big."  That did something inside me I cant really explain.  Then again I have a boss that lets me know that my "morbid obesity is going to leave my daughter motherless if I don't change", and a grandmother that loves to tell me "you'd be so pretty if you lost some of that ugly fat".  

Well I have decided enough is enough I want to lose weight and push forward to body building.  I want to keep up with my daughter, not wear black everyday to hide my "morbidly obese" frame and be healthy.  I have tried diets but don't stick to them the yell of a donut has always been louder.  I started different this time yesterday I signed up with LA fitness and paid for a master trainer.  Ive got to get this.  My dad died at 56 from diabetes and a bad heart.  At 32 I dont want to fall down that same path.  Im sure as you can see from this post I dont have the most supportive family so I need you guys.  I have a mother that wears a size 4 complains to me all the time about how she needs to lose weight,  I feel like Im going down this path alone and I need support desperately!

[goodbye_farewell]

Welcome to Nerd Fitness. It's a really great community, and if you seek support or advice here, I am sure you will get it. If you are active here, you won't be alone.

[Robpocalypse]

Wow, your boss made that comment? That's wildly inappropriate in a professional setting even if he or she means well. That's not beneficial motivation in the slightest way, shape or form!

You have taken the first step in -wanting- to change. It's going to be a long process but keep reminding yourself of the positive rewards: better health, better quality of life and longer time to spend with your child. I won't lie and say it's going to be easy, but your kid is worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you're going to pour into your quest of better quality of life!

It's a long slog but the end of the road is totally worth it.

[peelwandelaar]

Hi Welcome here. I'm writing you a line to say to you that I also had to endure some denigrating remarks about my weight a couple of years ago. Now people are complimenting me about how I look. Start, and stick with it, and no matter what you will get there! Meanwhile don't hesitate to drop me a line if you need to.

[asismomma]

Thanks to all of you for the warm welcome!  I do have a question though on those days when you just dont feel like it how do you push yourself that extra step?

[INSAIYAN]

I visualize my goals and imagine how rewarding it will feel to achieve my ideal body. Knowing that I need to perform my routine consistently to get there is what gets me through the "I don't feel like it" phase. It took some time, but I'm now addicted to working out and those "don't feel like it" days are few and far between. It works similarly with food goals.

 

Use being there for your daughter as motivation. I'm sure it will give you the push that you need.

[augie]

Thanks to all of you for the warm welcome!  I do have a question though on those days when you just dont feel like it how do you push yourself that extra step?

Amanda,

First of all welcome to the forums.

Glad to hear you've decided to go for gold (change)

It's not the first time I've heard the stories of people trying to encourgae you by telling you negative things.

I just feel like if they said "listen you might want to make the change because it will make you a much happier person overall, and this change will inspire others" That would be more beneficial and encouraging.

Everyone is beautiful regardless of weight.

I understand that obesity is a problem that's out of hand considering our culture where processed foods are king, a majority of us live a sedentary lifestyle, and time is just too scarce to let it go into focusing on our health.

Let me just say this though, if you do not take care of yourself, then nobody else will.

But by signing up to a gym with a personal trainer (which I would say, take advantage of the opportunity! Ask questions about your workouts, what's efficient for your goals, how can you try some of the workouts at home, dieting, etc...)

Soon you will begin to develop a routine/schedule.

Stick to it!

You have to be your worst critic, also you can be the best.

But always be rough on yourself otherwise you'll never get the push from anyone else (remember this is something that happens only through you, we are here for moral support. BUT the final decision is made through you).

At first you will dislike going to the gym.

It's fine, it's something new to you and in honesty the feeling after the first workout is unbearable... but you just have to deal with the discomfort. It's part of being human, we must endure the suffering otherwise we wouldn't be alive... or there would be something wrong with our senses, at which point I'd say go get checked out since you could injure yourself without knowing it... 

I like to go by the quote "There is no growth in comfort, and there is no comfort in growth"

Those days you just want to avoid the gym and physical activity at all costs, just simply build up the strength to say "F**k it, I am still going otherwise I will not progress and I might fall back"

It's simply called discipline.

It's something we must do in order to keep our bodies healthy.

Believe me, there are days I cringe to the thought of going to the park and knowing I have a 2 hour workout ahead. 

but you know what? I have to do it if I want to be healthy.

after a while you will feel better, and eventually you'll feel guilty if you miss a workout, or you eat unhealthy.

When you get to that point I would say you're doing good.

But till then, you just have to go and do it!

That right there will give you the discipline needed for other tasks in life.

You'll love it!

Things that are hard will suddenly become easy, or at least attainable through persistence.

And as far as the donuts go.

I would say if you want to look at food differently just read up on nutrition.

Read up the effects of refined sugar on the body (Let me give you a spoiler, Cancer, Heart Disease, Alzheimer's, yeah the list is not pretty, Sugar from fruits tho, you can go at it! Oh yeah, Avoid Juice, I mean whole fruits)

Then read up on complex vs. simple carbs.

That should be a good head start and it will lead you into reading about fats, how our body needs fat, and basically just how our bodies function.

it's fascinating.

I've gotten so caught up on health that now I am rethinking my shoes.

I want to buy shoes that resemble barefoot walking just because I want to avoid foot deformities which affect my balance and my body as a whole.

You'll get sucked into health; and let me warn you, you'll become addicted!

Just remember. 

When you don't want to go to the gym make yourself go!

think of all the negative things that not being healthy does to you!

Then reconsider.

I am not saying go every day! 

But develop a routine, you'll do good.

Listen to your body, if you're in pain avoid doing things that will get you into more pain (or possibly cause an injury, which will set you off for a bit of time... hindering your progress)

Oh, and finally when it comes to whole foods... I know many think they are the most expensive thing on the planet.

They are if you purchase from stores such as the whole foods market (which in my humble opinion is nothing but processed foods with greenwash all over)

BUT if you purchase from a farmers market (and I am not saying go organic, conventional is just fine. As long as you start eating more vegetables and fruits) You will save yourself much more money than any conventional store.

Trust me on that one!

I spend $50 dollars a week on fruits and vegetables for my entire week (and I eat a whole lot due to my workout routine. I basically eat a giant breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, a small meal an hr before my workout, post workout I eat my final meal, then a snack an hr before sleeping... and that is 50 dollars, not including any meat, nuts, and milk... which for me alone are like 20-30 extra dollars)

You can do it if others have done it!

I believe in you!

[LittleOne]

Welcome! I'm also new to NF but from what I've seen, it's an amazing community, and you won't be alone! In answer to "when you just dont feel like it how do you push yourself that extra step?" it's all about your thoughts and motivations. I have had so many days where I've just felt no motivation, and in result no energy, to do things, whether that be working out, making a proper meal, cleaning, or even work. It helps to have short and long term goals and visualize what life will look and feel like when you reach those goals; what emotions and thoughts will you have? Let those visualized thoughts and feelings energize you. I'm a big film nerd, so sometimes I'll watch an amazing trailer for a movie I love/am looking forward to seeing and that gets me really pumped, and I'll also use music for that too; pick a really energy-filled song and let it lift your spirits and energy level! Sometimes though, you just have to push and do it anyway; there have been a few days where I really actually had to force myself to get up and do a workout, but got into it after 5-10 minutes (and those actually ended up being workouts where I really pushed and did extra well!).

Also, I've found that yoga and meditation (even just 5-10 min!) really calms everything and gives me a burst of energy and drive and a fresh outlook on the day!

Keep in touch on the forums, and good luck!!

[LizzyB]

Welcome!  I am new as well and have found a lot of encouragement here in the community.  Some days are just hard.  I am also a working mother and life has a way of interfering with my goals too.  On those days, I tell myself just a "little exercise" and I might do only some stretching and squats, or make one positive choice per meal--water instead of latte or fruit instead of pastry.  I did not find any success until I let go of trying to do everything perfectly.  Do one thing every day and log in a small victory.  The small things add up, just be patient.  You didn't get out of shape in one day and one day will not fix it.  On a personal note, the moment in which my motivation was solidified was when my daughters pulled out the exercise mat and said they wanted to exercise like mommy.  Talk about tears!  That was the moment I realized how important this was for my babies to develop healthy habits. 

 

A few little hints:  write down specific, achievable goals.  Give yourself a reasonable time table and have someone you can message or chat with who is positive but will also hold you accountable (lovingly). 

 

I wish you all the best and if there is anything I can help with (newbie that I am) please let me know!  Happy Mother's Day. 

[Dirt Diver]

Thanks to all of you for the warm welcome!  I do have a question though on those days when you just dont feel like it how do you push yourself that extra step?

For 2 years, I trained specifically with the goal of earning a contract to have the opportunity to become a Navy SEAL. That community is all about teamwork, so I always visualized that whatever activity I was doing was somehow helping my teammates accomplish something. For some reason, I can quit on myself, but not when others are depending on me. To get the motivation juices flowing so I could help my imaginary teammates, I had a few carefully-selected phrases that I'd yell (in my head - I didn't want to look crazy, after all).

If I was doing cardio (either running or swimming), and I was feeling like I couldn't keep going, I'd tell myself not dead, can't quit! But if I was doing strength training and was having trouble completing a lift, I'd visualize being under one of those heavy inflatable boats with a bunch of tired teammates and I'd tell myself up boat! I'm sure I've actually said the second one out loud a couple of times and anyone nearby probably wondered exactly where this boat was...

[She2Diamond]

Welcome!  I am also fairly new to the community and I love it!  Your question about what one does on days when you just don't feel like going is a dilemma that I sometimes find hard to overcome.  Today was one of those days.  So, I chose not to run 3 miles today as I intended and opted for the Angry Birds workout (all reps in one set).  I've found that as long as I do SOMETHING, I don't feel guilty or like I've failed to stick to my plan.  I just change the plan a little.  I've also done this at the gym.  Some Saturday mornings are just not as good as others but I know I must do SOMETHING.  So I get in the car (a BIG step) and go to the gym.  Instead of time on the elliptical machine and time with weights, I opt for the timed weights and cardio circuit upstairs.  Only takes 30 minutes and I don't even have to put forth effort to time myself.  The light on the wall tells me when to get up and move to the next station.  It's a PERFECT solution when you just don't have the power to do it on your own.  Lastly, the most powerful motivator when I feel like doing nothing is people.  Before I joined this site, I downloaded the Nike Plus running app.  I added a few friends and off I went.  Well, running can be boring.  I fall in and out of love with running on a weekly basis.  However, pulling up the app and seeing a message like "Minnie Mouse is 2.60 miles ahead of you.  You cool with that?" ALWAYS invokes the same response..."HECK NO, let me get myself together!".  And I run at least 1 mile farther than that person is ahead of me in distance.  Opening the app to a message like "Watch your back.  Donald Duck is 6.41 miles behind you" has a similar effect and pushes me to run at least 1 mile to put a little more distance between me and Donald.