WillToPower Posted May 12, 2014 Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hi all,I’m going to apologize in advance if this post is long or wordy. I tried to write out a draft, which was more than a page long with no end in sight, so I’m going to compress everything so that things aren’t so heavy.My StoryI spent five years trying to complete a four year degree; it didn’t end well. I put in more time and effort than my classmates, only to get less out of it than they did, and struggled with the clinical/practical aspect of the program – I failed a work placement that was a prerequisite for fourth-year courses, which split fourth year into two years, and a specialty practice that was worth a whole semester’s credits.While struggling to keep myself afloat during the latter, I ended up putting everything else on the back-burner. I stopped exercising, making myself any food that wasn’t quick and convenient, cleaning my apartment, going out with friends, or taking care of myself. I lost all sense of routine and good habits. It took its toll emotionally, psychologically and physically. My teachers actually staged an intervention.That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I knew I had to get out, but I had no idea what I was going to do. My life was off the rails; I had spent so much times struggling that I wasn’t sure that I knew who I was when the struggle finally ended.So I started seeing several counsellors, including a career counsellor. She noticed some red flags during our first appointment and referred me to the university’s learning disabilities specialist. One thing led to another, and I was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Disorder (Combined Subtype).My ADD manifests as:Procrastination => I struggle with putting things off, especially when they are things that don’t have deadlines, if they aren’t a priority or necessary, and if I’m not accountable or obligated to anybody else.Poor Impulse Control/Self-Control => At my worst, I was prone to impulsive spending, especially when it came to food, which led to me gaining weight and losing money. I’ve been getting better, but I still struggle with the impulse to spend and often find myself impulsively buying snack food, which is usually gone within a day or two.A lack of motivation/drive => I like to distinguish between “ambition†(wanting something) and “motivation†(initiating the actions that lead to something). I have lots of ambition, but no motivation; I want to do things, but find myself incapable of action.Other symptoms include: issues with focus and distraction, disorganization and forgetfulness, capriciousness, restlessness, talkativeness, and a lack of a filter.Let’s get back on track…I’ve since started a new degree, a double-major that I’m currently excelling in. However, I’ve spent so much time focusing on school in order to not muck up a second degree that I’ve let everything else stagnate; I still haven’t made progress when it comes to rebuilding good habits.At the moment, I’m taking a summer course, working a part-time job, and volunteering in research labs. I am keeping myself busy, but I know an opportunity when I see one and I don’t want to let it go to waste. Quote Race - Ambiguously Human | Guild - NoneLevel - 0 | STR - ? | DEX - ? | STA - ? | CON - ? | WIS - ? | CHA - ? Link to comment
WillToPower Posted May 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2014 Hello again,Sorry to add more words to this post, but I wanted to talk about what I want to get out of NF.Why I'm Here:As I've previously mentioned, I’m struggling with a lack of good habits and a lack of drive to make a change. I want things and can give myself reasons to do them, but I am incapable of making them things happen. It’s like there’s a barrier between thought and action, like I can’t muster the willpower necessary to shape the world around me.Here are some things that I want to change:• I want to start exercising again; I used to swim, strength train, and run regularly.• I want to make myself healthy food, instead of buying things that are quick and convenient.• I want to build good self-care habits – dental hygiene, sleep, cleaning, etc.• I want to start building habits and using strategies to help cope with my ADD.• I want to manage my finances.• I want structure, routine, habit, and control in my life.• I want to build a foundation for a better me; I want to bring up the baseline.I’m sure that I could add more, but I’d rather not over-do it. If I can take care of some of these things, I might be able to use that foundation to work on other things in my life.I hope that the NF Rebellion can help me help myself… Quote Race - Ambiguously Human | Guild - NoneLevel - 0 | STR - ? | DEX - ? | STA - ? | CON - ? | WIS - ? | CHA - ? Link to comment
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