Hello! Looking for motivation...

[sddragontat]

Hi!

 

I'm a 29 (thirty next month!) year old newly-minted attorney in California.  I got married in October, passed the bar in December, and have been looking for work since then.  My husband and I still live with my mother-in-law, because we're still underemployed and it's Southern California.  We would like to start a family soon, but it's contingent on being able to afford the darn things.  Additionally, my grandmother, in Washington state, is going soon, and his grandfather with Alzheimer's has moved in with us.  My husband (a nurse) has taken on night nurse duties, which generally means that neither of us has slept a full night in over a month.

 

In the meantime...I've been overweight since the age of 11.  The only time I was able to actually lose weight (and keep it off) was when I moved to a foreign country right after college.  When I graduated, I was around 200 pounds.  I have no idea how much I lost, but none of my clothes fit after about two months.  Unfortunately, since I moved to an Asian country, replacing my clothing still proved difficult.  I did find that I LOVED snowboarding, so started trying to work out more often so that I could increase my endurance and strength for the winter seasons.  I did three 10ks while there, and went running with my roommate 3 or 4 times a week.

 

After coming back to the states for law school, I've gained and lost, repeatedly.  My husband is very fit, enjoys exercising, and has been happily active since he was a kid.  I've never really enjoyed exercising, seeing it more as a means to an end, whether it was getting stronger to go snowboarding (which I haven't been able to afford since moving back), or to losing weight.  My husband jokes that I'm on a three-week cycle.  I can stick with anything for three weeks, but after that, I quit, or lose interest, or get frustrated.  I was able to get down to 165 once while living here, but it didn't last long, and I'm currently at about 175 and 5'5".  The internets tell me I should be around 140, but whatever the final number SHOULD be, I know that I'm uncomfortable where I am.

 

I don't like how I look - I feel awkward and ungainly next to my husband, like we're terribly mismatched.

I don't like how I feel - I have aches and pains, I can't vacuum even without my back hurting (and my mother in law's house is huge!)

I don't like that I quit - I want to feel like I can stick with something, even when it's hard.  I want a sense of accomplishment reaching a goal.

 

I would like to face this challenge in a more positive way.  When I was trying to lose weight for my wedding, I ended up getting desperate and started some very unhealthy habits.  I'm tired of that.  I want to be strong, and healthy, and a positive influence in my own life.  I want to build skills so that I'm a good role model for my (future, as yet unborn) children.  I don't want my husband having to take care of me AND the kids just because he's the only one healthy enough to do it.

 

All that being said, any help or advice is welcome!

[formymonkey]

Quitting after 3 weeks sounds familiar. The 6 week challenges have helped me tremendously with that, although I have dropped out of one at 3 weeks, I have completed 4. Small changes are easiest to keep. One of my current goals is to just get my veggies cut do they are easier to grab as a snack. Also if you like running, I just downloaded Zombies run its kind of fun.

Fitnessblender.com has some great workouts to do at home. And my biggest recommendation is the 6 week challenges with a gray accountabilibuddy group

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[reala728]

tbh... its good that your sick of the BS you're going through. thats what you need first and foremost. figuring it out is the second step... and sticking to it is absolutely the hardest.

 

i know you said you had a plan to get in shape before your wedding, but just because you missed that goal doesnt mean shit. 

 

me, personally... i got inspired for literally NO reason. im unemployed, in a state i know nothing about with no friends. i took that weakness and turned it into an advantage. im bored to death 90% of the time the way my life is currently. so what? what am i doing? nothing... might as well go to the gym. lift heavy things.

 

there are tons of hormonal benefits that kept me going after that random thursday night i decided to buckle down (i remember telling myself countless times i'd start monday morning, clean slate, beginning of the week)... you dont need a particular reason to go on. you know what you want. go for it. just do it for yourself. dont let any excuses get in the way...

[Nightside]

Two points if i may.

To pass he bar must have taken some determination and a lot of effort and you were motivated to do it so you have already shown you can do something if you want it enough.

You don't like exercise, bite the bullet and try running every other day for a month with an open mind and I bet you will come to love it, it is addictive and the feeling when the endorphins kick in is awesome, its called s runners high with good reason. Feeling exhausted never felt so good.

[sddragontat]

Thanks for all the encouragement!  The first challenge didn't go very well, but I'm going to start again on June 9th (or earlier!).  I'm thinking of scaling back my goals to doing the bodyweight workouts three times a week, and just trying to add more activities I like (hiking, bellydancing, karate) without trying to do them as "exercise."  I did used to LOVE running on the treadmill, usually with some very angry music, just because it was cathartic.  I'd like to get stronger though, as well, which is why I'd like to concentrate on the body weight exercises.  I have a bad back, and strengthening has helped it not hurt so much in the past.

 

I think the difference is that I actually enjoy being a lawyer.  I got all giddy recently when some friends asked me to write an agreement.  I sat right down and put about 10 hours into research drafting, just because it was something I haven't done before and the challenge was exciting.  I'm going to try and put that viewpoint towards exercise as well, it's all about changing habits.

[Raev]

Fitness is like anything else worth doing.  It takes a want to do it.

 

HOWEVER fitness is unique in one way - there are a thousand paths up that mountain. 

 

I've done p90x.  I hated it and washed out in 3 weeks.  I tried treadmill running and was bored to tears.  It lasted two days.  I tried yoga and resistance band training.  Never finished those, either.  Eventually, I tried a very structured and linear beginners weightlifting routine and found out that I loved it!  Constantly trying to push into new territory, doing better than I did two days prior, stalling then coming back and crushing my previous failures, I love it!  I started it in December and am still going strong with it.  In 2 weeks I'll be 35 and this is the strongest I've ever been in my life.  I look forward to working out now.  I enjoy that people look at me and can say "Wow, last year he was overweight and out of shape.  Now he's developing some guns, that chest is starting to look nice and DEM QUADS!!!".  I like that it's inspired people I know to start working out, because "If he can do it, so can I!".

 

Experiment.  Find what you enjoy.  My wife loves dance, squatting, a yoga trapeze and weighted hula hoops for working out.  A cousin I grew up with runs marathons.  I lift heavy things.  My brother keeps fit via nonstop sports.  Find what you like and you won't have to try to stick to it - you will do it because you WANT to. 

 

Until you find it, we are here to help you along the way.