To dream the impossible dream.

[0Philosophy]

Hello. I'm 0Philosophy, or Chris if you prefer. I'm really bad at introductions, as I tend to get pretty nervous, even online, and have rewrote this post about five times now. Sorry if I get a bit long winded or ramble.

 

So... last month I stood on the edge of Mordor, and saw Mount Doom for the first time. The mirror showed what I was too afraid to see, and too stupid to admit. I'm killing myself. I'm not Blob (he was in better shape), as I'm only about twenty pounds overweight. But I'm a far cry from where I should be. My fitness, especially in these past five years, has become horrible.

 

I have had similar epiphanies in the past. And, in the past, I have sworn to change them. And I started to. But unlike before, I have gone more than a week in this mindset. And unlike before, the desire to just look good is a tertiary concern. Don't get me wrong, I would love to look like King Leonidas (actually I would prefer a Kurt Wagner build, but you get the point),but at the moment I would be happy just to be able to run a solid mile again.

 

I would like to lay blame on my poor upbringing. Or my PHD in Procrastination. Or my host of mental issues. But that's all excuses. I'm tired of excuses. I'm tired of what I am. I know I can be more. I WILL be more. Excelsior!

 

So here I am. Have been working out semi regularly for the past three weeks (with a week off after pushing myself too hard to quick) and just starting doing the first workout of the C25K yesterday. And though I failed the latter (side stitches killed me) I won't be deterred. I'll fail it again tomorrow. And probably on Wednesday to. This won't stop me. But one day... one day

 

As for why I'm here? There are lots of reasons. I want to learn how to do it harder, better, faster, stronger, smarter. I want to push myself to the edge, and leap. I want to become better than what I am, and then help others do the same. Nothing short of perfection will suffice. I don't want to give myself that concession. But... I don't know if I can do that alone. I need help. I need a Navi. Hey! Listen! Do another mile. Do another set. Hey! Listen! Be better.

 

Currently, I'm alternating daily between an aerobic heavy and aerobic light workouts. Ain't no rest for the wicked.

 

What are my goals?

 

Whats my endgame?:

Perfection.

 

I know that is stupidly vague, as I'm not even sure what I can define as “perfectionâ€. But I'm satisfied with never being satisfied. As for more realistic goals, I have so many...

 

I need to quite smoking. I started when I was around 13 or 14, and have been a heavy smoker for about a decade. I quit almost a year. I did this by forcing myself to run every time I got a craving. The thing is, I honestly like smoking. Especially cigars. Maybe I should try an e-cig, at least as a stepping stone...

 

I have long dreamed of running an Ironman Triathlon. Mostly a pipe dream, but... excelsior...

 

I want to learn a martial art. I have always been interested in martial arts and combat, as most young men are. I love the ache in my fists after working out on the heavy bag. Problem is, I don't have any money for, or access to, classes.

 

Stop drinking soda, and eat healthier.

 

On the soda front, I'm almost there. I have only had one 12 oz in about 2 weeks (from nearly a 2 litre a day). I've mostly switched to tea. I make a gallon of unsweetened liptons every day or every other day. I buddy of mine (completely randomly) also gave me a couple boxes of Capri Sun (apparently they were stupid cheap) which I'm using as a stepping stone to cut out sugary drinks completely.

 

As for eating, I'm doing okay. Less fatty meats, more fowl and fish. Also cutting back on the greasy foods. Eating more fruits and veg. Not counting calories yet. And may not. I don't actually eat much, and a large portion of my intake was from the soda.

 

I have about half a dozen others, though they aren’t related to health or fitness.

 

Its really amazing the amount of change I have gone through in these few short weeks though. Since I started working out, I have been in the best mood I have been in years. My sleep problems are also rapidly shrinking, though I still don't get nearly enough (about 5 or 6 hours a night) I feel more alert in the mornings, and have more energy, often more than I know what to do with. And, visibly, it already looks like I lost a few pounds.

 

At any rate, I have rambled on long enough.

 

TL:DR?

 

Excelsior!