back at it again at krispy kreme

[n7spired]

(not really. i don't plan on getting back at it again at krispy kreme ever, ever again. but look at the video i'm talking about and tell me pulling that off wouldn't make your whole life.)

 

welp, i've been lurking this site for a good two years, so i might as well make at least one post and declare my existence. hooray.

 

so, hi! i'm max (or lord galvatron, whichever works). i'm 21 years old, work a desk job and hoard transformers figures. i'm a cyborg (why not?) ranger/assassin, split because i'm a runner who wants to embrace lifting heavy stuff. i'm 104.7lb as of this morning post-workout, and at 5'5 that makes me a scrawny motherf*^%#.

 

as a child, i was a true athlete. i was a gold medal competitive swimmer and adored gymnastics and track. i've always been a competitive person, always wanted to be the best and strongest. unfortunately, this led to perfectionism, which led to exhaustion, defeat, and-- surprise! an eating disorder or three. it's been an nonstop battle for seven years and i'm tired. i'm tired of starting over and over and over again. i'm tired of beating myself up for failing before i even got started. most of all, i'm just plain bored of it. so y'know what? i'm going to recover, and there's not a damn thing my brainweird can do about it.

 

my Big Goal is to build some serious muscle mass and stop kidding myself into thinking that eating 1000 calories of protein powder and almonds a day is gonna build it. i'm not going to pretend that i'm about to go paleo. restrictive diets and eating disorder recovery kind of go together like vodka and bleach. there will be changes, sure, but i started out college as a nutrition major and healthy eating is a bit of a no-brainer anyway.

 

so here come my first goals for my stay:

1. eat my tdee (1818) or higher for a solid week, including exercise calories.
2. complete zombies, run! season one.
3. begin stronglifts 5x5 (monday/wednesday/friday)
4. do 20 consecutive push-ups. 
5. do one unassisted pull-up.

i'm pretty much a nervous wreck and have extreme social anxiety so apologies in advance if my responses don't make sense or i disappear entirely. i do love this community from afar. 

[Thereisonlyzuul]

You'll find plenty of support here. I know how hard it can be to try and keep on track with a disorder, so feel free to message me if you need any extra help.

Also...mmmm.... krispy Kreme...