Onward to adventure!

[Bellorosa]

Hi there! I'm a 20 year old girl from Finland, and I'm currently studying Culture and Arts, mainly media.

 

My story begins from 2012, when I graduated from high school. I weighted around 130lbs (I'm 5'1, so that's a bit much for my height, but totally not overweight) and was really tired, insecure and stressed out all the time. I spent a gap year at home and during that time I realised that I could be in charge on how I feel and look. I started eating healthy and working out with My Fitness Sports Club (PS3) and running. My goal was to fit in my dream dress and feel confident. 

 

And I reached that goal! But I wasn't happy. I had neglected the mental side of it all and was still unhappy being myself. I started restricting my eating more and more to the point it wasn't healthy anymore. Physical and mental problems started appearing, I was sick often and then I injured my knee. Running on asphalt gave me shin splints and I couldn't continue for several months. In the end I stopped working out completely. I started to gain weight and in the same time restricted more. I followed all kinds of clean eating blogs on tumblr and lived by them, not realising it was harmful, until now.

 

The restricting went so far that I had cut all gluten, meat and dairy products out of my life (including junk food, sugar, chips and candy of course) and lived with superfoods, but I didn't replace the lost calories with vegetables, fruits, oats or protein. I just ate less, and I blamed the anxiety and stress from my lack of motivation and commitment. 

 

A few months forward, I relapsed. I ate pizza for two weeks straight, and oh boy it was pizza heaven. Hot damn. 

 

After that (and a few more pizzas, burgers and candy) I found myself in a situation where I weighted 130lbs again. But the hard work I had done in the past had left me a tad bit stronger with more muscle. 

 

Now I realise how I have treated myself and I just want to apologise to my body and soul every day. I don't want to lose weight anymore and I love good, self cooked food. I don't want my life to be full of regrets and anxiety, fear and guilt, so today I'm turning a new page in my book. 

 

So for the first time I've started to have dreams of what I could really be, my own superhero who could love herself as she is, run a 5K and survive, who would manage school with a smile on her face and meet new people with courage and love. Life is messy and we are made to roll in it.

 

Here is my plan:

 

1. Start swimming. I've always loved water and swimming is an easy hobby to start, it doesn't require much. I love diving!

2. I'm allowed to eat anything I want that makes me feel good! 

3. I will stop procrastinating for good. I know this is a hard one for a nerd. No more 3 hour imgur sessions.

4. It's dangerous to go alone, so I will ask for help. I have a few friends who are into sports and now this amazing community! I hope to find fellow swimmers here, anyone?

5. STOP RESTRICTING. I highly recommend to start eating good, real food that does miracles for your body, it deserves it. You'll have so much more energy to live! I believe that with a good diet and regular, fun exercise and having a few laughs is the greatest cure for all mental problems. Smiling and breathing are the keys to happiness! 

6. Try to love myself and spread that love to others too.

 

 

I'm pleased to make your acquaintance! See you around

 

 

Have a picture of my badass cat.

 

[Nephthie]

Welcome!  That is quite a bad-ass cat, I enjoy a good cat pic any day!  I can relate to many parts of your story, although my weight shifts were more significant the psychology was very similar.  I am trying to re-train myself that being healthy doesn't = skinny.  It is about eating good food, being active and enjoying life.  Like you I lost weight by punishing to my body and when that failed to make me happy I punished it again by filling it with any garbage I could find.  I wasn't happy at 120lbs and I wasn't happy at 200lbs, I had to face it that the number on the scale or the pant size wasn't where I was gonna find it. 

 

I just signed up here as well, I have found it to be a pretty cool place to relate to people who are working on harnessing their awesomeness as well!  Welcome aboard!

[Bellorosa]

Nerdfitness really has a special feeling that makes you burst with motivation! Just got back from my first run in ages and I totally enjoyed it. It rained the whole time and it was just awesome! 

 

Nephthie, I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, I can totally relate. Trying to find the key to a good life from the size of your clothes and comparing yourself to others is no way to live. Realising this and abandoning the scale and getting some courage to be proud of yourself, no matter the size or shape is the best thing you can do to yourself. Self love is hard, but just like any kind of sport, you need to practise it to get better. 

 

All the encouraging high-fives to you!

[MegaShe-Ra]

Yay for positive change!

Sounds like you are on the right track now mentally which can make all the difference.

Congrats and good luck.