I am part of the rebel alliance

[Godeskian]

And a traitor to the Empire. Take me away.

 

Or something like that.

 

I also go by Godeskian, or Light, or Necron Dude or Quayleman (don't ask) or any number of other entertaining sobriquets I've had over the years, most of them bestowed by friends, family and innocous bystanders.

 

But once you strip away the probably failed attempt at light comedy, I'm also 34, am at least 27 kilo's (about 60 pounds) overweight, stunningly unhealthy even besides, with bad knees, asthma and semi-frequent bouts of gout.

 

Oh and I'm training as a professional wrestler, specifically a cartoon pirate wrestler , which sort of brings me to why I'm here,

 

I need to change the way I live. I was originally going to write that I need to get fit, but that's only part of the story. Yes, I need to lose the weight. Yes, I could probably do with having actual musculature beyond what I need to slide into my office cubicle every day, and yes I need to get into a shape for wrestling that doesn't resemble 'round', but all of those are symptomatic of the manifestly unhealthy lifestyle I lead for most of my 20's.

 

Don't get me wrong, I had fun. I ate food that tasted great, drank drinks that were both fruity and had interesting colours, and generally had a social blast.

 

But if I could go back with what I know now about how it would affect me physically? I'd probably make more than a few changes.

 

I can't change the past though, and wishing is a fools game. I'd rather concentrate on tomorrow.

 

So here's the plan

 

Step 1. I have given away, binned or eaten everything in my house that's not water, vegetables (and oh how gutted I was to find out that sweetcorn is not strictly speaking a vegetable) and lean meat.

Step 2. On the way to work I will do a brief '1 day' shop of vegetables and pre-cooked meat to get me through the day

Step 3. On the way home from work, I will do a shop for proper paleo food. I already like quite a few vegetables and I could eat chicken and turkey and steak till.., the.. erm cows come home.

Step 4: Do my first three circuits of the beginniners body weight program, and get a gym where I can do deadlifts, squats, military presses and pull-ups/chin-ups. I can't actually do the latter at all I imagine, but If I can find the first three, then I can probably find some place to do inverted rows, or an assisted pull up thing to let me get started.

 

Eat.

Sleep

Repeat steps 3 and 4

 

 

So that's me. Hello Rebels, I'm signing on the dotted line, I'm learning the secret handshake, and I am here to fight.

 

Pictures to follow soon.

 

 

[Steppinon D'Arrows]

There's a secret handshake?

 

Hi, I'm new here too! Welcome!

Don't worry about those pesky Stormtroopers, they won't find us in here. The others said so.

[Godeskian]

There's a secret handshake?

 

Hi, I'm new here too! Welcome!

Don't worry about those pesky Stormtroopers, they won't find us in here. The others said so.

 

That's what the shady fellow in the NF t-shirt told me. Mind you, he also asked for my pin numbers, social security and favorite passwords. I'm beginning to think he wasn't on the up and up.

 

Oh well, c'est la vie and all that.

 

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

*secretly records the secret handshake for potential future use for Mandalorian infiltration*

 

What? I was just passing by. *waves hand in imitation of Jedi mind tricks*