The Fight of My Life

[crazedsanity]

There was this guy.  He was a big, fat, lazy guy... and about a year ago, he almost killed me.

 

He was the guy that told me I wouldn't fit in at the gym, that I couldn't handle going there, that people would mock me.  He held me back from doing anything even remotely physical, and gave me all kinds of seemingly valid reasons as to why, reasons that I accepted as truth.  He'd talk me into leaving the gym, because everyone was staring at me, secretly laughing at me like they do to the fat kids in school...

 

That guy was me.  At the end of 2013, I was in a death spiral, my life basically circling the drain.  My diabetes had gone out of control, giving the appearance that I'd become mentally unhinged and needed mood stabilizers.  Stabilizers that destroyed my memory, made me even more unbalanced... but at least it "made me happier." 

 

FYI: if you want to read the full post, you can check it out here.

 

I lay in my bed one night, crying to myself.  I literally found myself hoping she wouldn't hear me, but praying she would.  And I'm not the kind of guy that cries on a normal basis--I might get choked up at a particularly sappy movie, but not full-on bawling.  Thank God she heard me, and she asked me what was wrong.  I told her I couldn't remember, because I actually couldn't.  We talked through it, discovered my mood stabilizers were destroying my memory--in fact, I was being affected by almost every side-effect the drug listed.

 

Over the course of a few weeks (I remember precisely, as I'm sure you understand), I decided that I was going to do something about it.  I was going to get healthy.  None of this "healthy or die" crap, I was GOING to get healthy.  No "or".

 

I started going to the gym.  At first with a friend, now mostly on my own.  I started weightlifting, cardio, playing racquetball.  RACQUETBALL.  And most of all, I was enjoying it.  The more I sweated, the more fun I had.  I'd walk miles on end in a day, soaked head to toe with sweat, freezing my *** off, with a massive smile covering my face.

 

I beat the hell out of the guy I used to be.  I've logged well over 100 visits to the gym this past year (I wasn't logging anything for the first few months).  The first log I made, I barely moved 15,000 pounds total in nearly an hour; six months later I moved around 197,000 pounds--an order of magnitude more--in about 90 minutes.

 

Here's a graph to show visually the dramatic affect it had on my blood sugar levels (the gap marks the place where I changed things).

 

I'm not as healthy as I'd like to be, but I'm a work in progress.  I'm not done.  In fact, I've just stared.  For me, 2013 marked the end of the beginning and the beginning of a NEW beginning.  No more sailing through life half-conscious.  I'm stronger, faster, and more healthy than I've been in my whole life--or at least the parts I can still remember--and it's only going to get better from here.

[childofscorn]

You've made fantastic progress in turning your life around and becoming the person you want to be!  Now that you know what it takes, you've got what you need to succeed long-term.  And as always, don't forget to lean on your fellow nerds whenever you feel like you don't have the strength to deal with the journey on your own.