My Reset Button is Jammed

[Misfit13]

My background: I'm a 43 year old mom who doesn't workso that I can take care of my ailing mom who lives with me.

When my dad died 4 years ago, it wrecked me. My whole body changed including my metabolism. Since then, I've gotten my thyroid checked and put back in balance and on anxiety meds. I was constantly tired and could not stop my body from gaining weight. Two months ago I changed my anxiety meds and now have the energy to stay awake throughout the day and even exercise. I am still gaining weight. I eat meat only 3 times or less a week, no processed foods, no soda, 6+ cups of water a day plus tea.

I need to get in shape. I am not currently the person I'm supposed to be. I am weak and over weight. I want this under control before it creates health issues. With all the things that need to get done, I have very little time for exercise. I made it a New Years Resolution to work on my health, and though I try every day, it's not enough. I'm stuck in quicksand and I don't know what to do. My husband helps as much as he can, but I'm still just constantly gaining weight.

In my best Leeloo in the back of Korben Dallas' cab voice,"Please help?"

[Ocelot]

Misfit13,

 

You're not a misfit! This happens to a lot of people. Health problems, stress and tragedy have assaulted you from all sides. It is understandable that you would feel terrible. You can only solve the problem by accepting that it will take time and consistency to heal, inside and out. You CAN do it. But it will not be instant.

 

I am not a psychologist or counsellor or therapist of any kind, but I know that self care is the first step to getting out of any hole.

 

Relax. Breathe. Take time out to read, shut your eyes for 20 minutes, have a long bath, switch off and really feel your muscles relaxing. As often as you can. Breathe very deeply while you do this. Oxygen in your blood gives you energy and life.

 

Drink plenty of water (maybe go up to 7 or 8 cups if you're on 6 currently). Eat plenty of food. That might sound counter-intuitive, but just make sure that most of it is vegetables, protein, fruit, beans, greens, nuts, seeds... whole foods. If you are eating lots and lots of those things, you are nourishing your body more and you will want sugar, refined grains, fried food, etc, less and less. I wouldn't put energy into resisting any particular kind of food, but you will naturally want less unhealthy food by concentrating on really really feeding yourself fresh food that contains the vitamins and nutrients that can not only nourish but also help to heal. Never feel guilt about eating something that you want. As long as you are not starving yourself of healthy food, you can fit anything at all into your diet (barring medical reasons, allergies etc)

 

Walk outdoors, in beautiful, interesting, places - parks, hills, forests, rambling city avenues. Don't worry about doing any kind of exercise that you don't enjoy, but do walk and immerse yourself in outside surroundings every single day. Just pay attention to the world as you walk, let your mind go where it wants. Even 5 minutes is better than nothing.

 

Tell yourself you are a happy, energetic person. Tell yourself you are getting stronger every day. Tell yourself you are getting more and more healthy. Tell yourself you love yourself. Tell yourself 100 nice things every day. It might feel ridiculous, and your brain might instantly blurt out "but that's a lie!" Ignore your brain and just repeat the sentence. Eventually, it stops complaining. After that, it can start to believe.. and then you can find change very easy!

 

I hope some of this will help you with your reset button. I recommend reading up on the threads around this forum and keeping posting. Feel free to message me if you want to vent any time. Good luck!

[Noname123]

You can totally do this. You're a strong person who has a lot on their plate right now. 

 

Time to just step back and focus on you, even if it's just for 30 minutes a day. 

 

Have you calculated your TDEE? You may want to consider using that as a starting point to build out a calorie plan to help eat at a deficit will help a lot with the weight loss. Weight loss is 80 percent diet, so once you figure out what your ideal intake is you'll start shedding the weight without even realizing it I know people who started there to 'retrain' their bodies for proper nutrition and then went on to try keto/paleo/macros. Eat GOOD food and raw food too, you'll feel amazing and your tastes will change. 

 

The progress takes time but remember YOU are totally worth it.