Respawn! Wooooooooohooo!

[mealexandra]

So its been awhile. I am feeling particular down tonight for several reasons....

I’m also at my parents house listening to my Dad’s sleep apnea. Its pretty painful to listen to. And scary. 

My Mom is in the hospital for health reasons.

And I’m here….eating a fucking domino’s pizza. I knew it too. Because you don’t accidentally order a Domino’s pizza. I sat there, stressed from watching my Dad, stressed from my Mom, stressed from work, and said, “I want a Domino’s pizza….I want to eat my stress.†— I guess its good that I actually….KNEW it. It isn’t something that randomly happened. I sat there and said, “You’re going to feel horrible, you’re going to get gassy, you’re going to be bloated….â€â€¦.and then the other Alex said, “Order the damn pizza…..you like the chicken kickers too…â€

The last time I exercised was a week before I went to Norway. That was in September....Jeez. Things at work were getting hectic. I def “blame†work. But thats the whole thing, right? I’m not supposed to blame anything…I def. have not been a priority....my job has been the priority. Def. 

My relationship with my BF has been pretty good. I don't really like to think about him being a "reason" for my falling off the horse. If I want to exercise and eat well...I have to do it...I don't have to depend or blame someone else. I'm pretty happy my mindset about that has changed....

I also looked over my food diary. It sucks. 

UGH. I have all those feelings. 

I just feel scared….kinda motivated….and very helpless.

But I must say…to be able to have an email to read….and a place to post….and just…words to read that say its okay…ITS SO HELPFUL. ITS SO NICE. Because there is a lot of shame to all this. I DON’T want to go to my BF and be all mopy and feely…..gross….I totally know I CAN…..but I don’t need to talk about it all the time. I need to just  DO IT.

 

 

 

 

 

anyway. It is late and I want to go to sleep. Tomorrow I'm going to do my exercises and start all over. And it'll be awesome. (=

[Ocelot]

Hey... So, you aren't taking care of yourself I am the last person to call a food bad. I eat anything and I think you can be healthy and also not deny yourself anything. HOWEVER. There are foods that are actually actively good for you and nourish your body, and there are foods that are just nice and contain nothing good except energy. Those aren't 'bad' but they will not help you especially if you are eating too much of those and not getting in any of the good stuff. When I feel bad, stressed, low energy I focus on eating healthy food. I CHOKE IT DOWN if I have to (but I usually don't because I like vegetables, thanks to being a centaur). I don't tell myself 'no you cannot eat _____ (insert sugary/fried thing here)' but I do tell myself 'YOU SHALL EAT THIS SOUP FIRST'. The junk food can only make you feel better as long as it lasts, the other stuff will actually keep you going and feed your body and mind. So prioritise that!

 

And let yourself take care of yourself. You're under serious stress. You need to relax and be very good to yourself, or you will only get more stressed. If you want to deal with job pressure, life pressure, etc, you have to build up your reserves. Take time to really relax, drink water, breathe deeply, do exercise THAT YOU ENJOY and just be nice to yourself. Think about being nice to yourself every day, even if only for 10 minutes. The rest of the time you can devote to whatever life throws at you, but you'll be stronger for it.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your parents' illnesses, hope they get well soon and good luck with your respawn - keep posting, keep getting up and you will get there

[mealexandra]

Hey... So, you aren't taking care of yourself I am the last person to call a food bad. I eat anything and I think you can be healthy and also not deny yourself anything. HOWEVER. There are foods that are actually actively good for you and nourish your body, and there are foods that are just nice and contain nothing good except energy. Those aren't 'bad' but they will not help you especially if you are eating too much of those and not getting in any of the good stuff. When I feel bad, stressed, low energy I focus on eating healthy food. I CHOKE IT DOWN if I have to (but I usually don't because I like vegetables, thanks to being a centaur). I don't tell myself 'no you cannot eat _____ (insert sugary/fried thing here)' but I do tell myself 'YOU SHALL EAT THIS SOUP FIRST'. The junk food can only make you feel better as long as it lasts, the other stuff will actually keep you going and feed your body and mind. So prioritise that!

 

And let yourself take care of yourself. You're under serious stress. You need to relax and be very good to yourself, or you will only get more stressed. If you want to deal with job pressure, life pressure, etc, you have to build up your reserves. Take time to really relax, drink water, breathe deeply, do exercise THAT YOU ENJOY and just be nice to yourself. Think about being nice to yourself every day, even if only for 10 minutes. The rest of the time you can devote to whatever life throws at you, but you'll be stronger for it.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your parents' illnesses, hope they get well soon and good luck with your respawn - keep posting, keep getting up and you will get there

 

 

Thank you so much (= 

 

Its funny...I didn't realize how built up everything was...you're commenting to ME is really important. I'm tearing up ova' here!

 

You're right. I need to take care of myself. Tonight, I'm going to take a bath.....with my girly pandora station....

 

This is going to turn into a rant...but for this weekend I've been trying to see my boyfriend. I've been so involved with taking care of my parents that I've known that I need to vent...to talk...to cry...to do something to release. I forget that sometimes it needs to be something that I do...not something that only happens when he is there. 

 

 

Otherwise.....You're advice is spot on. I made a post on the Nerd Fitness academy board that was about my eating a tasty salad before having the "NEED" to eat an entire box of whatever the heck it was. And it worked. I was like..."meh....don't need it."

 

sigh.

 

Part of getting back on the horse if getting back into that mindset. 

 

I thank you again for your response. I'm learning that I love these message boards, someone always says what I need to hear at the right moment.

 

 

BTW, your username is awesome.....is it an Archer reference? Babou? Many lolz.

[Ocelot]

YES to the bath and Pandora. Venting is good, but its also good to take proactive steps to make yourself feel better!

 

It wasn't inspired by Babou, although I do need to watch Archer soon. It's because my goal is to be like an ocelot. Little and short legs but also an awesome jungle cat.