Mindfull Eating for the Absent Minded (Need A Combat Rez)

[TheAccountant]

I took my measurements this weekend and they were depressing. Depressing to the point of giving up.

I joined this community to get away from role playing games and to level myself as my "main" toon again. I have done this before to great success. I wanted to avoid eating discipline as a goal because previous attempts have ended up leading to more depression than the fat was causing. Not because I'm weak willed, but because I'm stupid at simple things.

You don't have to read the rest. Just yell at me and tell me to adjust my eating slowly and stop worrying about stats. I respond well to drill sergeant types yelling at me to drive the weakness out of my body. So say something like: DON'T BE A WEAK EATER!

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The rest is just for me to post, I don't expect anyone to read it.

AAARRRRGGGGHHHH.

I don't want another side quest stress point in my life.  In World of Warcraft, people talk about their "DPS" score but don't talk often enough about enjoying the "rotation" of the class or even the game. Once you start feeling that you have to start crafting, the activity goes from a game to a job. Then it becomes a life sink that creates more stress than it releases.

 

My chest and belly are the same size as the last time I stopped playing world of warcraft because it was a life sink!

Last time, in less than six months I went from 48" chest and 48" belly to a 49" chest and a 36" inch belly, people treated me differently. Now they are both 48" AGAIN. And the arms are down from 18 to 15.

I could do that again, if I dropped everything else including martial arts.

I have an extremely low working memory (bottom 5% of humanity). I still have an above average IQ, but simple things for me can be very hard. I simply will not make a food log, I would start screwing up other more important things if I did that. A food log would lead to instant depression. A fifteen minute trip to the store can take three hours. Cook my own food? Sure, but it would take the entire workout time slot.

 

I just don't have the internal biological "Stress Point Pool" for a family AND a job AND martial arts AND strength training AND cardio AND complicated eating discipline.

 

I don't want to grind the same class from level 0 to endgame..OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I want to work toward goals that are fun BECAUSE I ENJOY THE GAME. I was at this point seven years ago: I started a body builder program and in less than six months I lost almost 10 inches off my waist and only dropped 15lbs of total weight. It is possible, but it's temporary.

 

I changed my goal to martial arts because, If I earn a blackbelt in martial art X, I get that belt forever. Like graduating from college, it represents training rather than a current state. I want to work toward an achievement that can't be taken away if I relax.

 

Being buff AND lean is awesome, but it never stops. You start loosing levels as soon as you stop playing the game. I don't want side quests to take over my life!

[Cienfuegos]

Yeah you seriously shouldn't worry about stats at all. You definitely need to worry more about having fun. If you are eating something (healthy) and it's fun...continue. Just eat better and be better

[MattGannon]

Man, you're in a tough spot. It sounds like you're taking too much on at once. It's hard to make major changes to our lives, let alone a whole bunch (even if they interrelate) all at once. So yes, I'm going to tell you to stop worrying yourself so much. You're stressing over something that should enrich your life to the point where it's becoming a burden, just like all that stupid grinding and crafting in WoW (I quit WoW for the same reason you did).

 

Your eating is very important. There's now way around it. It's been said that diet is at least 80 % of your success. But it doesn't have to be your main focus. Make small changes. To start, drink one more glass of water per day, and try to add a vegetable to your meal. Try that for a week (or whatever you're comfortable with) and go from there. It sounds like you have the knowledge, but are just struggling with keeping your mind wrapped around it.

 

You are not stupid. If you were, you wouldn't be able to articulate your thoughts in a way we can understand. If you were stupid, you wouldn't have been able to achieve the things that you have so far.

 

This is your call, but change your goal to feeling happy about yourself. What makes you happy? Martial Arts? Walking? Pumping some iron after a stressful day?

 

 

 You definitely need to worry more about having fun.

 

DarkKent nailed it. Life is really hard, so it's worth it to focus on making it better. Don't worry about getting buff or lean or developing insane discipline (unless you find it fun). At first, I hated working out. It actually made me feel worse about myself. I felt stupid for doing it because I thought I would always be fat and ugly. I had been told this for nearly a decade and I believed every word of it. But something clicked and I got angry. I wanted to prove to myself that I was the Captain of this ship. And I became a damn fine Captain. I have my moments of weakness, which is human and not failure, but you can be sure I don't stay down.

 

The reason I'm telling you this is because it's a lot of fun to think of myself as my own character that I can train and level up and improve. It's fun to get more experienced at life and certain tasks. I find working out and eating healthy fun now. You need to focus on finding the fun in life. Figure out what things make you happy and do them. Don't worry about the rest. Take it one day at a time.

 

I don't know if any of this is helping you, or if I'm just sounding like a fool, but maybe it will. If you want to chat some more, feel free to PM me. I'm always down for a good conversation.

[TheAccountant]

Thanks guys.

I have a friend at work that is just incredibly strong (benches near 400lbs) and has almost no bodyfat. He looks like a body builder, but never lifts for what he calls "vanity", all of his work is "functional". He is also an incredibly disciplined eater. What you wouldn't know from looking at him is that he suffers from multiple ailments that would cause most people to give up on life. Traumatic Brain Injury, Tuberculosis, and some other ailment the doctors just can't figure out, similar to gulf war syndrome.

 

There are days he can't get out of bed. His nervous system is deteriorating. There are times wife has to pick him up because he simply can't drive safely. Every once and a while, you just see his (massive) arms shaking when he picks up a mouse. He does not know how much longer he will be able to work.

 

Despite all that, as soon as his symptoms get better, he's right back on his paddleboard going out for a 6 mile. Then back in the gym for an Olympic lift. Even when he cant work out, he doesn't get fat, because he is such a healthy eater.

 

He flat out told me that if he worried about his appearance, he would have given up a long time ago. He judges every day by how well he did that day against the challenges that happened that day. Some days he lays in bed because that's the right thing to do.

 

So, small changes over a lifetime vs big changes in one day. Set the example for my kids-over time. Resilience over instant gratification.  

Thanks everyone.

[MattGannon]

Good luck, Wyrm. You have a solid head on your shoulders. I'm rooting for you.