Holidays, family, and stress

[lutzy]

Every year when the holidays roll around my husband and I start stressing about whether to have everyone to our house or not, whether to go to all the family events or not, and whether it is actually a bigger headache to deal with explaining why we weren't there than to just suck it up and go to every flippin' thing and have the whole family over when they request it.

What do you all think? Are the holidays a time to put aside the differences and try to get along? Or is it okay to NOT want everyone in my house for 15 hours bickering and causing me stress?

Just curious if anyone else goes through this emotional tug of war every year...or it doesn't even have to be holidays - if anyone just has family that can make them crazy. Surely I am not the only one??

[Guest Snake McClain]

I say...if they are bickering and causing problems forget it. If they ask why just be upfront (but polite) about it and say, I just don't like all the "x" or "y" that keeps going on and i don't really want it in my house. it doesn't make it fun it makes it hard. and if it isn't fun it isn't worth doing.

That's just me. You can make it as passive as possible. don't drop names like when "you" or "aunt edna" do this or that. Just say in general this is what happens and I don't like it.

[Guest Snake McClain]

My family does the same crap all the time. it gets old.

[lutzy]

I say...if they are bickering and causing problems forget it.

Good point. Ah, holiday fun with the family, when everyone airs their grievances. I still think we will probably end up having everyone over, since this is the only place for everyone to get together (most are from out of town, and the others don't have the room) and I always feel like we are obligated. But I will ask them to leave when it gets to be too much.

[KillerGriller]

you could "accidentally" knock out a bunch of drywall etc. and send them all pictures explain why you can't host.

[Guest Snake McClain]

you could "accidentally" knock out a bunch of drywall etc. and send them all pictures explain why you can't host.

I think this is clearly the most logical and practical solution.

[Shortkaik]

you could "accidentally" knock out a bunch of drywall etc. and send them all pictures explain why you can't host.

Sounds like my kind of way of dealing with confrontation!

This year will be the first year I'm not making the trip back to my hometown for Christmas - and I've yet to let the folks know. For me, Christmas has been lonely lately, everyone else has had their own extended family to spend the day with (both parents are recently remarried or in a new relationship, same with my brother). The awkwardness of chosing between spending the holidays with my family's new families or spend it by myself... yeah, I know what you mean! So I'm going to do my best to stay home and avoid the stress this year! Although I'm sure telling them I'm not going will be stress enough for a year of Christmases.

[Guest Snake McClain]

I'll be solo this year for christmas too. Just the way it is. Me and the dog.

[lutzy]

you could "accidentally" knock out a bunch of drywall etc. and send them all pictures explain why you can't host.

I am seriously considering this now...

[moabbound]

Ah, holiday fun with the family, when everyone airs their grievances.

FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!

[catspaw]

FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!

True story: I used to get my team to organize the Google holiday easter eggs for a few years. And a few years ago, for about a week around the holiday season, if you searched for 'festivus' or other similar terms, a holiday pole would decorate your search results page.