Ready Player One

[gingeraffe]

Hi Rebels! Another newbie here, stepping up to introduce myself.

 

I've been chubby pretty much as far back as I can remember. I got fed up with being "the big guy" in my fraternity in college, so I decided to make a change. I started going to the fitness center with my frat brothers regularly, cut out carbs and stuck to drinking whisky&seltzers and dropped roughly 80 pounds in 9 months. I looked better, felt better, had tons of energy and was ready to leave college in take on the world.

 

Then I got to the world and things sucked. 

 

I graduated in 2009 - right around when the financial crisis was at its worst - and finding a job was TOUGH. I was able to land an internship in my field (Costume Design for film and theatre) and then hopped over to NYC in the fall where I started freelancing for small production companies. For a couple months, I felt like I was able to maintain my diet and fitness for a couple months, but slowly I started letting things slip. It was slow at first - one of my roommates would make a big batch of fried rice and offer it up to the rest of us, I'd take some, "but only because she offered. I don't want to seem rude" was how I would justify it. I would work long hours starting early in the morning and go late into the night sitting at a sewing machine trying to put the finishing touches on a show before press night, usually fueled by pizza and pop the Production Manager bought for the crew. I lacked sleep, funds to have a gym membership, and motivation to do any exercise aside from walking EVERYWHERE (cause it's NYC). It took a long time, but after six years in the city, I was back to the size I was in college, when I decided it was time to get in shape. I denied that I'd been backsliding "things are just tough right now, I'm working a lot. Once things quiet down and I get a steady job I'll be able to join a gym, eat right, and get back on track." That's what I kept telling myself.

 

I remember when I realized I was just as big as I was in college. As I said, I'd been denying to myself that anything major was happening - I knew what I had to do to get back in shape, I kept telling myself it was all a matter of circumstance. Then, last summer, I decided I was done freelancing and needed a change of scenery. Last August, I moved to Denver and started at a cool, new job. So, then I figured everything would just fall back into place. I'd start eating right again, I'd join a gym where I'd make awesome gym buddies and we'd high five each time we increased our lifts. I doubt I need to tell you, that's not what happened. I kept snacking, sleeping, and sitting on my butt. I felt horrible about it, because I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO! I did it once before - cut out carbs, lift weights, profit. I just had to flip that switch and get it going again and *POOF!* it'd all be better. I think that mindset is what's kept me from achieving any gains. Knowing alone wasn't enough to kick in the discipline needed to make all those drastic changes all at once.

 

I'm starting from square one and taking it one day at a time. One small goal achieved followed by another small goal; laying my path forward brick-by-brick. I'm here because the few friends I have in town are not very fitness-oriented people. Quite the opposite, most of them have told me "cool. let me know how that goes," or "there's nothing wrong with how you look," or (and I wish I were joking with this one) "You're only doing this because of all the fat-shaming in society. You're healthy, so who cares?" Needless to say, I've been searching for a supportive community of interesting people pushing each other to do better than the time before and I definitely think I've found that here. 

 

So I'm in, ready to take that second step (and the third...) and get myself on the right path. Let's go!

[Sardoni]

First, it's great that you have people around you that appear to appreciate who you are inside!  It's even greater that you can take a step back and realize that you need to find people to help you achieve your fitness goals.  You've already made a willpower milestone not letting those people allow you to rest on your laurels!

 

Sometimes you have to do you and other people around you might not understand.  Perhaps you'll wind up leading the charge and some of those folks might end up joining you for the journey in a couple of months.

 

At the end of the day you've just made a commitment to yourself and that's what counts.

 

You can do it!