The Stress is draining my mana

[Ayla14]

Here I am again.  At the point where I have (once again) let myself just have a ton of excuses to let the plan fall to the wayside. Though I have to admit that these excuses have been reasonable...

 

I haven't been keeping myself in check since February 11 when my boyfriend was in the hospital. The stress from that situation just got a hold of me and I couldn't shake it.  I mean I should have gotten over it because he was perfectly fine after he spent the night there and his health has been great since BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

 

I quit my job in February 3rd after my hours were severly cut (down to 12-14 hrs)  and my boss was unwilling to let go of some grudges she was holding against me.  I had some high hopes on getting a job with another company at the time but it didn't pan out as I had hoped. So since February 3rd I have been unemployed. Anyone would agree that is stressful enough...

 

Than I got engaged.  I know you'll say  "Congratulations! That's fantastic!"  But unfortunately it hasn't been a happy occasion. We had agreed that it made sense to wait on getting engaged until we had moved in together hopefully the beginning of next year and that would allow my family some time to get used to the idea.  My fiance is unfortunately the guy that parent's pray to never have to deal with.  He has let's say a not so savory past.  After we agreed to this I thought "Good, that's plenty of time for my parent's to see more of this great guy that I know inside and out."

 

....Well he proposed wayyy ahead of time, March 9th to be exact.  It was heartfelt and amazing but I knew that this was going to be a problem when I woke up the following morning.  Since than my parents and I have had mutliple discussions, and the tensions have been at an all time high. I have explained that a wedding is not currently in our plans and that we plan to have a long engagment or at least be engaged until we are in a better place.  They still aren't entirely happy with that and I don't really blame them entirely.  But because they aren't happy, I'm am not happy.  I have been so stressed that I have just been eating just for no reason. And it has but a strain on my relationship with my fiance. So after many discussions with friend's, fiance and other family members I decided that all I can do is really reorganize my life and try to be as positive as I can. 

 

I have plenty of pro's when I get back on this plan...

 

1. I have plenty of time because I am currently not working.
2. My family for once is at least all on the same page when it comes to eating healthier! My father has lost a good deal of weight since February and I am so happy for him.  He used to bring in the junk food and bread. My brother, sister and mother are all eating healthier.  My mother even has started making granola bars which have been quite tasty.
3. Fiance completely backs me up on it and knows my food triggers so he can help me steer clear without irriating me.

I know that it's a lot to tell but in order to pick myself up I am reaching out to my fellow NF crew to help me out.  I need potions people! Potions and Pheonix downs!

 

 

[Raincloak]

I haven't got a phoenix down, but here's my best attempt at a Hyper (cures Sadness, induces Fury, and speeds up limit breaks):

 

The only happiness you are ultimately responsible for is, guess whose: yours.  Your folks may come around, but whether they do or not, that's no excuse to make yourself unhappy or abuse yourself, food-wise or otherwise.  No one's making you eat junk, so you choose whether you really want to eat it.  And you even said your family's health habits are improving, so that's great: you can, too.

 

If your folks are having a hard time appreciating your guy, it probably means you introduced him and/or the ring too fast, and they suspect your guy is trying to trap you or string you along, as some men do.  They might also know that a trip to the hospital, however minor, can cause precipitate behavior.  You didn't say how long you've been going out with this guy, but if you were planning to get engaged next YEAR and you're engaged now, it's probably too soon.  Pay attention to the relationship in coming months, you and your partner and your family all have some learning to do.  If he is "the one," your folks will probably come around sooner or later.  If they don't, and you're determined to stick with him, you'll have to learn to get by without their approval.

 

Are you currently living with your parents?  If so, you are not ready to be engaged, and your family's concern is well placed.  Even if you are living independently, your being unemployed is a little worrying, more so because you quit your job when you didn't have another serious job offer in hand.  By quitting, you damaged your resume and probably forfeited unemployment benefits.  I realize some jobs suck and need to be quit, but that is the kind of behavior that makes people worry about you.  They're thinking something like: If you bailed on a job with no safety net, are you prepared to handle a marriage?

 

(Bear in mind that having a man financially support you is emotionally harder than working.  Only the strongest relationships can stand it.  I wouldn't dream of getting married if I didn't have an income, which means I'm not getting married any time soon.  Fortunately I'm single and not in a rush.)

 

My suggestion: get a new job stat, and show your family and your boyfriend how mature and dedicated you can be by making yourself healthy and working hard.  I'm very glad to hear that your fiance is on board, but you can't depend on him entirely.  Build up your inner strength so you can depend on yourself (which will coincidentally make you much more attractive ).