Gut Lord Marching

[gr1mj1m]

Ahoy fitmates,

I'm Jim, I'm 37 and my most distinguishing feature is my sagging, bloated, stretched-out beer belly. Although it makes me look great in a speedo, I've decided to do the world a favour, unhunkify myself and slim down to something resembling the BMI of a small planetoid. I know, I know, you guys can thank me later.

Anyway, I'm heading off on the 19th for six solid weeks of residential training. It seemed the ideal time to get my lard-butt in gear and crack on with the sweating and, since I'm skintos (very sad back-story; you'd cry if I told you so be thankful there's no bard profession), I'm looking to get back into a body weight regime.

I used to be a keen swimmer and I did grab a couple of judo medals in my younger days, but right now I'd feel chipper just being able to crack out 100 press ups and 300 squats again. Lofty goals, right?

Right, that's definitely enough from me, and probably way too much so thanks for reading and I'll see you in these here pages.

[SpecialSundae]

Excellent thread title!

Welcome to the rebellion!

Are you another UK Nerd, or just a fan of the wonder of Blur?

[gr1mj1m]

Howdy Special,

 

I tick both boxes on that one - a brit partial to a slice of Blur.

 

And thanks for the welcome ;-)

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Gut Lord! Velcome to ze rebellion! (Not being a Brit, my mind went to a German accent when reading your thread title)

 

What is the residential training you are about to undertake? Body-weight is a great place to start, what are your overall goals?

[gr1mj1m]

Howdy Tank, and thanks for the greet. No worries about the German thing, in fact I'm often confused for my Bavarian identical cousin Herr Gluten Von Waddlestep. He's also about the size of the Hindenburg, but he's given a definite no to giving up the bratwurst and weissbier.

 

The training's in a variety of construction disciplines. I've got  background there, so it's mostly polishing old skills and gaining some certification. I'd go into a little more detail, but I can hear those danged violins warming up, so maybe some other time.

 

Goals, at the moment are pretty simple. Firstly, it's get back into a day on/day off work out routine. I think I mentioned before I was chucking out 100 press up a day. That fell to the wayside for various fun reasons and it also aggravated my wrecked shoulder (did I mention the Judo? Most useful thing I learned was how to brake fall. Apparently it can be done at 40 mph hour off the bonnet of a moving vehicle. Pretty much saved my life). I've been working on the press for 3 months now, moving from a pathetic 3x4 to my current 5x10. Over the past couple of days I've thrown in the rest of the beginner body weight routine on here. I know it's not as suggested, but adapt to survive and all that.

 

Medium term goals (maybe December time, we'll see) I'd like to be able to drag my lard carcass up a rope. I've always had a low weight/power ratio and it still bothers me that I couldn't climb a rope back in gym class 30 years ago. Still, like the press ups small steps lead to long walks.

 

Anyway, that's enough gibber from me. Thanks for taking the time to say hi though and I look forwards to chatting on these here boards.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Slow and steady wins the race. Keep making good decisions and working on yourself and you'll get where you want to be.

[SomeGuyFromScotland]

Excellent thread title!

 

My immediate thought was "Cut down on your pork rinds, mate, get some exerciiiiiise."

 

Welcome to the Rebellion, buddy.

[SpecialSundae]

My immediate thought was "Cut down on your pork rinds, mate, get some exerciiiiiise."

 

Welcome to the Rebellion, buddy.

 

I always thought it was "You should cut down on your pork life, mate, get some exerciiiiiiiiise."

 

BTW Blur > Oasis.

[SomeGuyFromScotland]

I always thought it was "You should cut down on your pork life, mate, get some exerciiiiiiiiise."

 

Well, huh. Just Googled it, and apparently you would be correct.

 

I haven't felt so misled since I found out Meatloaf wasn't about to "hit the highway like a battering ram, or a Cilla Black fan on bike."

 

My entire life has been a sham.

 

Although I do think "pork rinds" would make more sense, and you're absolutely correct about Blur/Oasis.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Well, huh. Just Googled it, and apparently you would be correct.

 

I haven't felt so misled since I found out Meatloaf wasn't about to "hit the highway like a battering ram, or a Cilla Black fan on bike."

 

My entire life has been a sham.

 

Although I do think "pork rinds" would make more sense, and you're absolutely correct about Blur/Oasis.

But... aren't pork rinds paleo?